January 19, 2021

A precious lifeline. By Vickie Stam

There is an African proverb that says, "It takes a village to raise a child." An entire community of people is committed to providing a safe and healthy environment for children - one that promotes growth. Can you imagine a mass of people sharing the responsibilities of fostering a child's well-being? It sounds intriguing.

Now, imagine a writer looking for ways to sharpen their skills. If you're anything like me, you might be asking yourself these questions. Does scribbling in journals make me a writer? After all, it is where I discovered my voice, found creativity, clarity and passion. But these memoirs exist only in private.

Will a provide group meaningful discussion or will they simply teardown my stories? Will they provide a safe and healthy environment?

I worried that becoming a member of a writer's group would expose my fears, something I would need to overcome. Even so, I couldn't let go of the urge to commune with other writers. In my search for a writer's group, I came across InScribe Christian Writers' Fellowship on the Internet. They shared a common thread - our Prince of Peace.

Charles Stanley once said, "The Lord never intended for Christians to be isolated islands who never share their struggles with fellow believers. Instead, we need to lean on one another in our times of weakness."

Many writers indeed put words to paper unassisted and in solitude. But fellowship can free us from the bondage of loneliness, allow us to build trust, embrace support and put an end to self-doubt.

Being a part of Inscribe has meant the difference between writing and not writing. Here I can observe different writing techniques, seek friendly advice, and be uplifted by encouraging comments. Gentle critiques take precedence over harsh words.

A lot of people go through life unable to leave their wounded past behind them. I understand how they feel. During a writing class in 2015, I shared a life story with a room full of strangers. That story fell victim to editorial criticism that left stunned. It felt more like a personal attack. The brutality of those harsh remarks made me feel as if a part of me had just suffered a wrongful death. I did not feel safe.

My first thought was to run, pick up the shattered pieces of my life and leave. Unprotected, I sat there with my pen in hand in what felt like a foreign land. I wanted to shred the passport that had got me in there. Instead, I wrote down every word my teacher said. My numerous exclamation points marked the end of his rant.

I remember looking into his eyes and thinking about next week - the next time he might do this to me. I wanted to quit, but I didn't. Staying the entire ten weeks became a heroic moment in my life. I embraced my vulnerability and endured the risk. Pain and suffering are aspects of life that we cannot avoid. Doing your best in any situation is all that is required.

My decision to join Inscribe has been gratifying. There are so many friendly, kind and gently people here. This writing group only serves a precious lifeline that stimulates, empowers and promotes a writer's  growth. Here you can be assured that your fears as a writer are shared, your victories are celebrated and your well-bing is secure. 

10 comments:

  1. thank you for sharing so honestly, Vickie. I am so glad that you have found some encouragement among our ranks and that you are part of our organization as the Writing Groups Coordinator, among other things. Your experience in this area makes you a perfect encourager to those seeking to find fellowship in a group. God bless.

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    1. Thanks Tracy. Yes, it is a great experience being a part of Inscribe.

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  2. I’m glad to hear that InScribe is a safe place. Your story is a good reminder of how we need to be careful and gentle with somebody else’s story, and to respect their honesty.
    Pam M

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    1. Thanks Pam. We're all learning as we go.

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  3. Thank you for this wonderful insight into you as a writer, Vickie. As your writing buddy I wanted to go back in time to temper the words of others as they critiqued your words. You braved this, however, and as you said, "I embraced my vulnerability and endured the risk." I don't know your teacher, of course, but perhaps he didn't understand one doesn't have to be harsh to get the point across. I'm happy you found InScribe and know you belong here.

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    1. Thanks Alan. I did learn from another writer that critiquing a memoir/life story should be done with care as the author is personally involved. It's not like critiquing fiction. I learned a lot from that experience.

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  4. Thanks for sharing that, Vickie. I too hate harsh criticism, having been a victim of it all my life. I love Paul McCartney's expression about creative things. "Just make it better." And even though I enjoy being alone, I'm not lonely as I have so many friends here. I love being in touch with Christians around the world too.

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    1. I agree. Being in touch with Christians around the world is such a wonderful experience. You learn things from other people you never imagined. I have a sister, and a son who were victims of criticism while growing up. I learned very young that when someone hurt other people it also affected me. I love my sister and did not like people hurting her nor did I like seeing anyone get hurt. But we learn from those experiences and we become better for it.

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  5. Thank you for sharing so honestly, Vickie, and for the way you persisted in spite of devastating criticism. I'm happy you found a safe place with our InScribers and have blossomed as a writer and as a person. God bless you!!

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  6. It is heart-breaking to think how detrimental harsh criticism can be. You were one brave soul to soldier on and finish the course after your instructor’s scathing remarks. In May 2019, I posted a blog on IWO called "The (B)right Side of Critique" by Sharon Espeseth, in which I try to explain the difference between criticism and critique. I have benefited by critique that I’ve found valid and helpful. Usually this is balanced with the “judge” or editor also showing what works in my writing.

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