April 27, 2021

Importance of Names by Lorilee Guenter

 

Isaiah 43:1b
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Hello, my name is... Finishing that statement should be easy. After all, I have lived with my name for decades. I like the name my parents chose for me - the middle names of my aunts. And yet, I have been known to introduce myself two different ways, using either my given name, Lorilee, or a shortened form, Lori. One day Bruce asked me about this after he noticed I introduced myself each way within about ten minutes of each other.

Up until high school, I used my given name almost exclusively. I would often have to spell it for people but would rarely need to correct pronunciation. Close friends and family used nicknames, but to everyone else I was, I am, Lorilee. Just before high school we moved. With the move came the frustration of people mispronouncing my name. Even after I corrected them many times I seemed destined to have Lorilee become Lori Lee or Lori uh Lee. Ugh! One day after yet another attempt to correct the same people I decided it would be less aggravating to have everyone call me Lori. I still used Lorilee anytime I needed to write my name, so all my homework and documents held my given name.

I recently had the question posed to me: "Have you ever thought of returning to Lorilee as your name?" Our name is a piece of our identity. When my counsellor proposed the idea, she talked about how, since my choice came out of frustration, it may be an unconscious reminder. Hmm. I never even considered the idea until that conversation. Something I needed to think about. This question prompted conversation with those who knew me well. Now I mostly introduce myself as Lorilee. Many people who know me still go back and forth between the two versions.

As I considered how my name impacts my writing and my interaction with others, I remembered a time someone I never previously met telling me I pronounced my name wrong. I walked away from that encounter and complained to Bruce, "How can she tell me how to pronounce my name?" Shades of high school frustration returned. I had used this name for decades. I heard my parents and grandparents use the name chosen for me. Now a stranger tried to correct my pronunciation. After complaining out the frustration, I tucked the memory away.

Even tucked away these events impact my actions. Our neighbourhood has seen many unfamiliar immigrants move in bringing their customs and their names. I sense frustration rising in me when I hear others say things like: "I'll never learn how to say that name", or "Why can't they give their children a name we can pronounce?" Why indeed. That name might be chosen to honour a family member. It might have ties to important people or events in their own history. Why should others give up their choice for our convenience? I don't think they should. Their story can enrich our own. Our honest attempts to listen to them and to use their names properly can build into relationships. By working to learn their name we show they are important enough for us to put time and effort into respecting them.

Friends in spite of differences

I have stumbled over names that are foreign to me. I expect to encounter more names that cause me to stumble. I have made it my practice to ask if my pronunciation is correct when I encounter an unknown name. I ask them help me say it correctly. This gives me the opportunity to demonstrate they are worth the time for me to learn this.

Whichever name I use, Lori or Lorilee, God knows my name. He knows how to pronounce it. He has shown me the frustrations I had can and will be used by Him as they shape my actions.

Hello, my name is Lorilee, derived from the laurel tree, a symbol of honour and victory. I will also answer to Lori. I choose to honour those I meet by learning their name and using it well. Will you join me?

8 comments:

  1. Lorilee, I so enjoyed learning about your journey with your name. It's a lovely name you have been given. I gravitated to this line you share: "By working to learn their name we show they are important enough for us to put time and effort into respecting them." So important a reminder of one beautiful way we can honour one another. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a lovely name. My parents chose well despite the difficulties it sometimes brings.

      Delete
  2. I was impacted by the part about learning to say people's names correctly. While it is easy to make mistakes, especially if we don't know the person well, there comes a time, especially if we have any kind of relationship, that we should purposefully learn to pronounce the person's given name properly. "I choose to honour those I meet by learning their name and using it well. I have a friend whose name is Aleen and it even bothers me when people call her Eileen or Elaine. Come on people! From your post I am assuming that the 'i' in Lorilee is pronounced with a short 'i' sound?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is a short 'i' or at the very least not an emphasised syllable for the 'i' which the lady did.

      Delete
  3. Thanks very much for sharing your struggles, Lorilee. Our names can be challenging sometimes. My husband once had someone tell him he was spelling his last name wrong. How bizarre. Blessings on your day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am waiting for that to happen with all the variants of my last name.

      Delete
  4. Excellent post ... I appreciate your input on the immigrant names. I also try to ask people, even those with foreign pronunciations for their names, (my daughter lives in an Arabic country and it is very challenging to pronounce her friend's names) but I agree whole heartedly that we honour people when we address them correctly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Arabic names can be quite a challenge.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to join in the conversation. Our writers appreciate receiving your feedback on posts you have found helpful or meaningful in some way.