When I close my eyes I can see myself doing the very things I can't seem to do with them open. It all comes down to one thing.....fear.
Even the smallest steps in life can cause fear to rear its ugly head. The challenge is conquering that fear.
In 2010, I sat down in front of my computer looking for something to do outside of work and taking care of my home. I wanted something more. Never having gone on to college after leaving high school, I began to search through the programs at local colleges. What I found was a list of general interest courses. I scrolled through the list of evening classes. I had no idea what I wanted to do.
"A Call to Write" leaped from the screen. It grabbed my attention instantly. I remember reading the introduction to the course and thinking, I like to journal so maybe this is the course for me. And then fear started to set in.
Questions flogged my brain. How long has it been since I went to school? Too long! What if the assignments are too difficult? I'll look dumb. What if I don't like it? I can stop going. Amongst all the questions, I had all the answers.
It was time to take those first steps. Sign up for the course. Buy the notebook and pen. Believe in myself. Tell fear to take a hike! I did just that and loved my first writing class and every one since.
Six years later, that fear is gone. I write with my eyes closed. Some nights I can't shut my brain down. When the world outside my window is fast asleep, my mind is watching the pen move across the page. It's listening to the sound of my fingers pluck the keyboard. It's seeing the words come to life. It's telling a story.