July 20, 2016

It's All Part of the Dance - Joylene M. Bailey

I’ve done it before. Taking steps in the wrong direction, which eventually helped me to make a giant leap in the right direction.

When I was 15 I started dating a boy who turned out not to be the right one for me. We dated for two years before I finally surrendered myself to that fact.
(I have a tendency to continue to give things the benefit of the doubt long after all the warning signs are there.)

I started dating my husband when I was 17, and by then I knew exactly what I didn’t want. And he wasn’t what I didn’t want!
That is to say, he was exactly what I needed.

So the steps in the wrong direction weren’t wasted. They led to a giant leap in the right direction, and enhanced my life forever.

It’s all part of the dance. A beautiful dance includes varied steps, twists, and turns. A dance consisting of steps only in one direction would not be very interesting at all.

In the last couple of years I started taking small steps towards following many of those writing promoters out there who say do this and this and this, and you will be published in 30 days, you will grow your followers, you will build your platform.

Long after the signs were there that this method would not work well for me, I finally conceded.
That final acceptance led to a giant leap in peace and contentment with myself, and writing what I love to write. I don’t think I’d have had such a giant leap in contentment unless I had taken those steps in the “wrong” direction first.

So, sometimes it’s the small steps in the “wrong” direction that lead to valuable giant leaps. Even those misplaced steps are not wasted. And who can say if they really were misplaced?

Maybe they were just part of the dance.

Joylene writes from her home in Edmonton where she lives with her husband, who doesn't dance, but cooks like a Baryshnikov! She blogs at Scraps of Joy.

Photo credits:
photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/30595068@N06/28069443336">The Waltz</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/14113765@N00/5013143266">I'm Confused</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">(license)</a>

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/122495188@N08/26579720771">...through the purple flame...</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>


  1. Many of us are paralyzed because we're afraid of going in the wrong direction. You're insight gives permission to, as they say, dance like no one is watching. Perhaps that can be true of our exploration into the world of writing, too.

    1. Too true, Bobbi. I wonder what we would write if we wrote like no one was reading. :)

  2. This is so inspiring, Joy. It made me think about the JOY of dancing - and that dancing in itself is NOT running in a straight line, as you said. I often joke that I feel as if I'm a dancer on the inside. I would love to be able to express myself with my body the way dancers do. but I'm just not that coordinated or talented... I guess God gifts each of us in different ways. Thanks for an awesome post and a great reminder.

    1. I too feel as if I'm a dancer on the inside. I still dance, but I usually keep my dancing to myself. :)

  3. Thank you for the encouragement to keep dancing!!

    1. :) Thanks for the reply, Sandy. Heart warming to see your name here.

  4. I love the dance analogy, I love the joy of dance. I have friends, and have done some of the lessons, but the most fun is "free style" rock and roll. And even that free style has steps that work better for some than others.

    1. I'd have to say that my dancing is definitely free style, haha.

  5. Going in the wrong direction can often help us make a leap in the right direction. I like your follow-through on this great metaphor. I hope you continue to dance, Joylene.

  6. I always feel that no experience is wasted as long as you learn something from it. Keep dancing!


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