First of all, I know this has very little to do with writing but it has a lot to do with things we're reading and watching these days.
I’ve lost a house to a fire. Now that’s a small loss next to
what I see happening at Fort McMurray but I want to
share some of the things I experienced.
That first day after it all sinks in is a hard day. Nothing
about it is real. The true weight of the loss is not felt. You survived and
that’s about as far as you can think.
Then the donations start to arrive. When you just have the
clothes on your back and they are covered with black soot that smells of smoke—not
just any smoke but dirty smoke, you welcome a change of clothes. But the
donations keep coming and while you are very thankful, what are you supposed to
do with all of it?
I remember doing laundry the first time after the fire. I
didn’t have a clue who owned what. I felt like a failure as a mother not to
recognize my own children’s clothes.
We were fortunate to get into a place of our own very
quickly after the fire. The Fort McMurray residents won’t
have that luxury. There are so many decisions to be made. And so much to do. I
lost all of my I.D. cards. I had to replace them. It all takes time and effort
in a period when you feel lost, not sure where to start.
It’s been ten years since our fire. This is the first year I’ve
thought about doing some landscaping. I had beautiful flowerbeds and a pond in
front of the house we lost. I’ve never had the desire to put the work into
making my yard look nice again until now. It takes time to overcome the
emotional aftershock.
I know when I lost my house, God had a plan. He did much
more than just replace all we lost. He restored my faith in my community
which at the time I needed. He also proved to me He had my back. I didn’t need
to worry about stuff. I hope these people can also see God’s hand even in an
event that seems like God has abandoned you. He hasn’t.
My prayers are with the people of Fort McMurray
and will be for a long time in the future because I know this journey won’t be
over— even ten years from now. And maybe then some will write about it and we can all hear the stories of courage and faith that I'm sure are a part of this tragic event.
This is such a timely post, Tammy. Even though it is just 'stuff' the loss goes very deep and sometimes things hit you long after the disaster. During my Grade 12 year our house burnt down. Most of my personal belongings were stored elsewhere because I was house hopping most of the time. (A long story which I won't go into. Suffice to say I was asserting my independence...) But my parents lost a lot of irreplaceable stuff - my mother's wedding dress, old photographs etc... My nephew lost his house to fire several years ago and lost everything - even the family dog, His wife and small son were away visiting her father, and Brad was alone. The dog woke him in the night and he has to break a window to get out, slicing his arm badly on the way. Unfortunately, the dog died.
ReplyDeleteI think we are all thinking and praying for the Fort McMurray evacuees.Several families are moving to my town of Tumbler Ridge because we have a lot of vacant houses since our main industry closed.
Anyway, thanks for this thoughtful post.
I still look for things and then realize, lost that in the fire. Just getting into a home doesn't mean you feel at home.
ReplyDeleteSorry you've had so much experience with fire. It's so destructive.
Fort McMurray is a place that has touched all of us in some way or another. It's a story that is on everyone's lips. I can't imagine such devastation. Thankfully, I've never experienced a fire. The fact that God restored your faith in your community is wonderful. I love your comment, "He also proved to me He had my back." Often times it takes a crisis for us to realize that. Thanks for sharing your own story.
ReplyDeleteYes crisis is a good way to find out how much God is there for all of us.
DeleteI pray that God will use this evil which befell Fort McMurray to bring people to their knees and place their trust totally in Jesus Christ. It's easy to be cocky when all is going well but much harder when one has lost everything.
ReplyDeleteI also pray that Christians will be beacons of hope to those who lost all and who feel lost. Often times, it's the little deeds of kindness and empathy which lead to people asking what we have that makes us so gracious in such times of turmoil. May God mightely work through us like light through fiber optic cables.
Amen Bruce.
DeleteThis is so timely, Tammy. Thanks for helping us get a glimpse of what these people are going through and how they feel. Very insightful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Pam.
DeleteThanks for sharing your story, Tammy. My heart goes out to you and your family, and to the people of Fort McMurray. I taught in Fort McMurray decades ago, so this certainly hit home for me too.
ReplyDeleteI began my first year of teaching in the small town of Thorsby, AB. My 16-year-old sister, a grade 10 student then, lived with me. The fourplex where we lived in the basement had an electrical fire while we were visiting our family in Edmonton one weekend. We got a phone call to come home to Thorsby right away. In the meantime, the volunteer fire fighters had moved our smoky belongings to an empty apartment over a service station. The community was very kind and helpful to us.
My loss would be small in comparison to what you've had, Tammy. My heart goes out to folks like you and the people of Fort Mac. May God bless them and give them stamina and wisdom as they work to get their lives re-established.
Thank you Sharon. Loss is different for everyone. You can't always know how much losing something will affect you until you lose it so I don't qualify loss on the terms of how much stuff was lost but rather how attached the person who lost it is. DOes that make any sense?
DeleteThank you for this excellent and timely post, and I so agree with you that these traumatic events take years to recover from, and our prayers should continue. May there be many opportunities for grace to shine through. I too hope that people can believe that God has not abandoned them.
ReplyDeleteYes, Tammy. What you say above makes perfect sense. Often/generally the loss of intangible things is more painful than the loss of tangibles. It is difficult and unnecessary for us to judge the loss another person is feeling. Empathy toward the other's feelings is often what is needed, even if we do not fully understand.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tammy for sharing your perspective and helping me to understand what it feels like to lose everything in a fire. I've never experienced that feeling but reading your thoughts help me do that--even if it's just a little bit. Thanks.
ReplyDelete