Never Ever Ever Give Up by Steph Beth Nickel

 

as writers, as believers, as humans

we must persevere

sometimes life (and our writing)

seem to flow smoothly, unhindered

and then...

we round a bend

and the path reaches for the sky

a steep incline

loose rocks

rickety steps

we prefer

even ground, sure footing, a moss-covered path

but the challenging sections

this is where we grow strong

we learn to press on

we learn to reach out to others

more importantly

we learn to reach out to God

is your life

an uphill climb

is your faith wavering

and your endurance at its limits

have the words stopped flowing

are you ready to put down your pen

consider the words you've read

the words that have encouraged you

spurred you on

built you up

did they come from a place of ease or

did the writer dig deep

did your fellow creative

reach inside and share their heart

the hurt, the pain, the challenge

of what it means to be human

we must follow their example

we must take the next step

we must never ever ever give up

Stalled by Steph Beth Nickel

 

This month's theme is Stalled in the Middle.

As writers, we can all relate in one way or another.

So, what should we do when we've stalled in the middle of a creative project?

First, we should examine our situation (and ourselves) and see what led to our lack of forward momentum.

Did we start the project with an abundance of energy and ideas but soon find ourselves sputtering and coughing and coming to a grinding halt?

Did our life change dramatically, leaving our physical and emotional resources significantly depleted?

Did we simply become bored and move onto something else?

Did we let procrastination win the day so long we're having a hard time getting back to the project?

Do we feel God has led us to set the project aside--at least for the time being?

Let's address these issues one at a time.

Did God call you to set the project aside? Maybe, but be certain this conclusion isn't simply "wishful thinking" or "fatalistic resignation." Here are three things we can do to determine if we should persevere or set aside the project in question: pray, consider why we began the project in the first place, and seek wise counsel.

I often say I put the PRO in procrastination. While there are, of course, times we need to take a break, we may want to ask ourselves a question to see if we're actually procrastinating or recharging. Do I come away from my downtime energized or further drained and unmotivated?

Boredom, it causes all kinds of problems, especially if there isn't external pressure to complete the project at hand. And when that project is a creative one, it's especially hard to push past boredom and persevere. If you need to mix things up a little, why not try writing in a new location or making a list of all the things that excited you about the project when you first got the idea?

All creatives experience dramatic changes in their circumstances from time to time--and this has been especially true over the last couple of years. We may be too physically or emotionally exhausted to even think about sitting down to write--especially a project that seems lifeless and immovable. Again, prayer, an examination of why we began the project, and wise counsel can help. (Note: sometimes, we need professional help, and there is not shame in that.)

And finally, we may simply have run out of steam. There are those who refer to three different types of energy: starting energy, finishing energy, and what may be the most difficult to come by, the energy to persevere when we feel stalled in the middle.

Ask yourself what motivates you to write and what "jumper cables" get your creativity running on all cylinders.

Do you like to...

Take a walk.

Listen to music.

Spend time with fellow creatives. (Even if you can't do so in person, you can connect online or over the phone.)

Listen to skills-related podcasts.

Read a good book.

Fill up your creative well, get back behind the wheel, and see where the road takes you.

Season of Wrestling by Lorilee Guenter

 

I have picked up my pen many times to attempt to capture my thoughts. The pen feels heavy in my hand, unfamiliar from lack of use. Excuses rise. I have nothing to say. Except I do have thoughts I have been wrestling with. I read and I write because words matter.

Every story, every life has conflict. Our decisions change us and the world around us. It is my hope and prayer that mine reflect the faith I profess. But I fail. Internal conflict keeps my brain active as I contemplate and wrestle with the issues of today. Can I be sensitive on the hot button topics without compromising my beliefs?

Sarah was introduced as Abraham's sister, a half truth. Daniel continued to pray without fear and ended up sleeping with lions. The disciples struggled to understand what Jesus was teaching them. They all kept going. They all met God in the middle of their circumstances. I know He meets me as well so I attempt to keep going.

My pen still feels heavy and unfamiliar since I have had a season of reading and wrestling instead of writing. However, I still pick it up to sort out the lessons I have learned. I start to write my reflections. Will they lead to stories where the characters wrestle through living their faith or poems and essays? I do not know. The reflections are one more step as I process what God is teaching. In His timing, the pen will once again feel familiar in my hand. The words will come not because of me, but because of Him.

In the Middle by Lorilee Guenter

 

Some interruptions seem like a nuisance in a well planned day.  The phone rings and the day changes.  At the end of the day it is possible to see God had something better in mind.

Other interruptions are long lasting.  Some days they appear to have no end.  In the middle everything feels like it is falling apart.

In the middle:

focus fades,

words falter,

questions abound,

and distractions grow like weeds.

In a recent discussion I heard myself say, "without challenge, where is faith." Our faith is not dependant on challenge but it is tested in challenge.  It is evidenced as we continue to cling to God and His promises in spite of our surroundings.

Faith shows itself when we trust that if God is leading us over a mountain, He will guide us and strengthen us.  It shows itself when we walk with Him through the valleys with long shadows.  We trust He won't leave us in the shadow, that He will guide us to places of rest and refreshment.

In the middle faith exists but the difficulties remain.  Looking back we can see the pitfalls that were avoided. However when the shadows are deep we cannot see.  We must trust knowing that we will reach the other side.  Then we will see the path God led us on and maybe even why.  We will be stronger and our faith will be deeper.

I am in the middle of a long interruption.  My focus fades and my words falter.  But God is here.  Some days He gives me rest.  Some days I catch a glimpse of what He is showing me.  I grab my pen and try to capture it.  That glimpse is a reminder that even when I can not see, God can.

A WRITER'S MORNING PRAYER - by Joylene M. Bailey

 

Eternal Father of my soul, let my first thought today be of you, let my first impulse be to worship you, let my first word be your Name,

let my first action be to kneel before you in prayer.

(John Baillie)

Father, I give back into Your hands all that You have given me:

My gifts and talents. 

I rededicate them to Your service, they are Yours to use as You want, Father. They are Yours, Christ Jesus. All these are Yours, Holy Spirit. 

May they bring You glory.

My passion.  

Use my passion for words to keep me searching out the right words for the right moment, that they may be like apples of gold in settings of silver. Let them be faithful and arrive true at their destination. 

My purpose.  

O Lord, speak through my words today. Thank You for making use of me to fulfill Your mighty purpose for the world and for my neighbour. Let me be a channel of Your love and compassion to those within reach of my words. Fold Your purpose for my writing into Your ultimate purpose, that my words might bring You glory.

My perseverance. 

Help me to persevere when the writing is hard, when the trials and urgencies of the day keep me from the page. And when I have to be away from the writing, may the thoughts and ideas keep percolating so that when I return, Your voice is the ink flowing onto the page.

Keep me mindful that writing is a gift and a privilege. May I never take it for granted or make it an idol.

You alone are worthy.

O God my Creator, accompany me into this day with Your blessing, and may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

Amen

~~~~~

Joy writes from Edmonton where she lives with The Cowboy and very-soon-to-be-married Babe. She is appreciating the prayers of John Baillie, which can be found in the classic, A Diary of Private Prayer. 

Find more of Joy's writing at Scraps of Joy.

Photo by Tom Henell on Unsplash

The Three-Legged Writing Stool - Tracy Krauss

                                  PASSION - PURPOSE - PERSEVERANCE 

I love a good alliteration, don't you? These three P's are like a three-legged stool. Now, sit down and write!

Passion

I think most writers love to write, or they wouldn't be doing it. There has to be something that motivates us beyond fame and fortune, cause let's face it--those two are unreliable! Ever since I was a child I've needed an outlet for the stories in my head. Until my young adulthood, that outlet was art, but once I started writing as a young mom, I never looked back. I LOVE to write. There is no other way to say it. So, even if I feel ill-equipped, get stuck or just tired of a story, or suffer from "imposter syndrome" (as many authors do) I will never stop writing. 

Purpose

In my experience, this leg of the stool develops over time. At first, my purpose was simply for my own gratification. My passion was my purpose. But when I started submitting my work for publication, I soon realized I needed to examine my motivation. Who was I writing for? Was I simply trying to entertain or was there a deeper message in my fiction? Even after answering these questions, one size doesn't fit all, especially when one writes in multiple genres as I do. 

I learned a technique from Nancy Rue at an InScribe conference which I still implement today. I try to distill each individual piece of writing into one word--one main theme. What is the essence of this novel/play/devotional book? I've come up with GRACE, REDEMPTION, MERCY, FRIENDSHIP, and others, depending on the piece. Sometimes it is just to entertain, and that's okay. But knowing my purpose has helped me stay focused on what's important, in both the writing stages and the marketing stages.

Perseverance

I think this last leg is one that needs special attention once one steps into the 'publishing' arena. I really appreciated Bob Jones' post this month about tenacity, and I think I have a bit of that same gene, or I would have given up a long time ago. 

I wasn't prepared, at first, for the fact that my first novel--my baby--wasn't as good as I thought it was! I wasn't prepared for rejection after rejection even after I had revised and edited. Then, once I'd "made it" with my first book deal, I wasn't prepared for the hard work and effort that goes into marketing. And after that, I wasn't prepared for negative reviews or criticism from other Christians because my book wasn't as squeaky clean as they wanted it to be. 

Trust me, I've had ample opportunities to just give up, already! 

Then I realized I need this leg of my writing stool. My passion for writing isn't going away and I believe in the purposes I've identified for each piece, so perseverance is the only logical choice since I can't teeter on two legs for long. 

These three go together. Without one, you will eventually fall (or fail) as a writer, but when you're sitting squarely on your three-legged writing stool, there is a sense of security no matter the outcome of any individual piece. 

___________________________________________

After thirty-some years of writing, Tracy Krauss continues relentlessly on, writing in a variety of genres from devotional books to romantic suspense novels to stage-plays. She is also currently serving as president of Inscribe Christian Writers Fellowship. Visit her website for all the low-down: "fiction o the edge without crossing the line" https://tracykrauss.com

What's My Purpose and Passion? by Carol Harrison

 The question about what my purpose and passion happens to be, can be a loaded question that makes me want to shut down and not bother answering - or at least it has on many occasions. Have I known it for a long time or recently discovered it? Has it changed over time or just grown in depth? 

Recently, I heard someone say that to discover, rediscover, or develop your present day passion and purpose, you need to revisit your younger self and see what captured your interest, made you want to spend endless hours in its pursuit, and enjoy the journey. As a teen, reading, studying, research, and writing school reports, essays, and stories captured my attention to the exclusion of many other pursuits. Some might say I exhibited many nerd-like qualities. Yet my main purpose continued to be finishing school and becoming a teacher. How would this passion for academic type pursuits serve me in the "real-world" of everyday life? 

I observed female role models in my life. All of them demonstrated their love for God and family through serving others. They managed households, could grow much in a small garden plot, sewed with ease, quilted, cooked delicious meals, and baked from scratch. Domestic activities in which they excelled and found their passion - or so it seemed to me- helped them serve others with compassion. How did study, reading, and writing fit into a purpose that would help others? I didn't know and felt it must mean I needed to discover another purpose for my life and pray my passions and interests changed. 

If someone asked me this question of purpose and passion in my twenties, thirties, and even into my forties, I would shake my head because I still struggled to figure out that answer. Or I might have thrown out the answer about raising my children, teaching Sunday School, or helping in our business. Yet throughout these decades of uncertainty and busyness, deep down the passion for more creative endeavors round its way into my life through crafts or jotting down ideas but never really pursuing anything. 

As a young girl, I understood that each one is uniquely created by God and we all, as believers, have to share the good news of the gospel. Later, I learned how God gives gifts and abilities for us to use to build others up and bring glory to God. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of this truth as it related to me. 

It took years of floundering, trying various activities, being busy with everyday aspects of life before I discovered the gifts God intended me to use didn't have to look like anyone else's gifts. I didn't have to be my mother or grandmothers, or aunts with their domestic abilities. I needed to be willing for God to use what he had given me, then pursue them, practice them, and persevere in the journey even when I didn't always understand the direction or the reasons. It is more than okay to be who God made me to be. So what is my passion and purpose? 

I am a storyteller. It means being willing to tell the story of what God has and is doing in whatever format that takes - written or oral. It also means participating in the journey with God and taking the next step when I can't see the one beyond that. 

God brought several scripture passages to mind, multiple times until they embedded deep into my heart and mind. 

Psalm 78:1-4, "O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old- what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done."

Psalm 105:1-5, "Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgements he pronounced."

God used those years of fear, of uncertainty, the busyness of raising a family, and working in our own businesses at times, to teach me many things. He showed me through a variety of experiences that he is still the same God as the God of the Bible. He led people into my life who spoke into my heart with compassion, with affirmations, and sometimes with a kick in the seat of the pants as I needed to be nudged from a comfort zone I was never intended to remain in.

Those passions for creativity, study, and research, as well as the desire to teach or help others never changed. It simply developed as I came to terms with the directions God might lead me and how they might not look the same as I imagined or what others may have expected. That is okay. 

Some days are difficult to keep going. The path ahead remains in the shadows and I long to give up, hide out, and forget about sharing stories and God's love with others. Yet persistence or perseverance means I need to keep going one step at a time, allowing God to guide and direct. I don't have to understand all the complexities but rather be available and obedient. 

As I worked through all those thoughts on purpose and passion and how it showed up in my life, I wrote this mission statement a few years ago that sums it up. "As a speaker, published author and storyteller, Carol Harrison is passionate about mentoring people of all ages and abilities to help them find their voice and reach their fullest potential, helping them find a glimmer of hope in every circumstance of life."

In doing this, I can say with the psalmist in Psalm 71:1-4, "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone. Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O Go, till I declare you power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."  

Carol Harrison keeps plodding on the journey one step at a time as she tells stories for her family and others. She hangs out for hours at a time in front of her computer from her home in Saskatoon, longing that others will be encouraged, entertained, or educated. Most of all that God will have all the glory.

A Writer's Best Friend by Bob Jones

Reputations are funny things. What do people know you for? The world’s best baked beans and bacon? Crafts? Creativity? Inspiring writing? Most people know me for one thing.

 

It’s not hard to imagine how that reputation came about. Eighteen years ago, our church was the subject of conversation from coast to coast and for all the wrong reasons. We set off in an unpopular direction, fraught with failure. It was painful at times. But we made it through a six-year quest to a remarkable new beginning. Invitations to tell my story came from across Canada. Seems as though the two things church leaders have in common are pain and a need for hope. “Tell me it’s going to be OK.”

 

PASSION

Requests come my way to write for magazines or speak to groups and there is usually one subject requested. But that’s OK. It’s nice to be asked. Not surprisingly, while crafting this post, an invitation came to speak at a Christian camp this summer. The organizers are looking for someone to speak on the topic “How Not to Give Up.” Some people have a reputation for passion or perseverance; mine is a passion for perseverance.  

Stamina is my forte. An International Marathon medal reminds me that I am a finisher. So is my wife. Give us a task, point us in the right direction and we'll make it to the finish line. Our maxim is, "It's always too soon to quit."

 

WHAT'S YOUR GENIUS?

This week, our staff took Patrick Lencioni’s, Working Genius assessment. Lencioni says everyone has two of six working geniuses. The six are summarized in an acrostic - WIDGET. The “T” stands for Tenacity. Yes, you guessed my working genius.

Tenacity gets me through writing books. Do you ever get sick of your books as you write them? Multiple times in the writing process,  the finish line disappears from sight. Grit gets me there. By the first edit all my head wants is to be done. Will puts me in front of the keypad. Finish.

Writing is not all inspiration. In fact, if you wait for inspiration, you’ll do a lot of waiting and little writing. Writing is a long devotion in the same direction. Writing is more perspiration than inspiration. Writers have to do the work. And do it most everyday. 

My granddaughter and I collaborated on a book two summers ago. Quinn was seven years old. She provided the story and illustrations. I edited. Last summer we added a bit more. This is summer number three and she is losing interest. I hear myself say,"We always finish what we start." By September, the story will have an ending. All it takes is one rainy afternoon.

GRIT

Angela Duckworth is spot on in her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Talent isn't the only indicator of success. Tenacity ranks right up at the top. Consistent and persistent effort, following through on your commitments, and dedicated practice are every writer's best friend. 

An interest in writing will get you to the start line. Tenacity will get you to the finish line.

Tenacity is one of the characteristics that can tip the scales for you. Cultivating tenacity will help you add one more chapter, write just 500 more words, or pitch just one more magazine before your work is done. Growing and developing tenacity is an active undertaking. But the return value is worth it.

Write on!

My running partner and wife, Jocelyn.

I write to grow hope, inspire people to be real, forge an authentic faith in Jesus, and discover their life purpose.

Please follow my writing at REVwords.com

I would love to hear from you.

 

Don't Give Up or Give In by Steph Beth Nickel

Do you give up certain foods or behaviours during Lent?

Typically, I don’t … for a couple of reasons:

1. The denomination I belong to doesn’t follow the liturgical calendar.
2. When I’ve given up something in the past, I’ve typically thought more about that something than I have what the Lord has done for me, which, of course, should be the reason for whatever “fast” we participate in.

This year, however, I decided to revisit Lent. It all began with some of the authors and podcasters I follow on social media. From newly published 40-day devotionals to online group studies … I wanted to take it all in. (Hmm, sounds a lot like the opposite of giving things up actually.)

My hubby and I have set aside our collaborative study of Mary DeMuth’s Outrageous Grace Every 
Day and are studying Margaret Feinberg’s Beautiful Life, a study of the book of James.

I am using Asheritah Ciuciu’s Lenten study, Uncovering the Love of Jesus, in my personal quiet time.

I also plan to participate in Kathi Lipp’s Clutter Free Bible Study, which is how I first became involved with Kathi’s online community—and subsequently became one of her interns.

Further, I’ve signed up to join Amy Carroll and Cheri Gregory on Facebook in the study of their book, Exhale. 

And then, of course, I may try to carve out time to study Michelle Cushatt’s book Relentless. 

Wait! Wasn’t I talking about giving things up?

Regardless of my ridiculously jam-packed reading schedule (do I really need sleep?), I have chosen to set some things aside as we approach Easter, the most incredible day of the Christian calendar in my mind.

What matters less than what I’ve decided to set aside and habits I’m seeking to pursue are the immediate changes it has brought about.

I’m not missing the things I’m fasting from. And yes, I know Lent just began. (Note: I’m writing this on February 29.) I am not only benefiting spiritually as I seek to “take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV) but also mentally, emotionally, and physically. God is so very
gracious!

I gave this post the title “Don’t Give Up or Give In.”

Let’s not give up on the following—whether we give up something for Lent or not:

1. Regular time with the Lord.
2. Studying the Scriptures. Although there are a plethora of books, blogs, and podcasts that serve as wonderful resources, there is nothing like digging into God’s Word.
3. Seizing even brief opportunities throughout the day to focus on what He has done for us.
4. Communing with Him in prayer, whether for hours in our prayer closet or moments between tasks.
5. Truly fellowshipping with other believers. This takes time and effort that many of us don’t allot for in our crazy schedules. 

How can we overcome our tendency to give in? (Granted, what tempts me to give in may not affect you at all, but we all have our areas of weakness.)

1. I love making lists. Lately, I’ve begun to prioritize my list. Crossing off a high priority task or one that has been on my list for ages is far more satisfying than crossing off several tasks that aren’t all that important. (For some of the things I consider most important, see the list above.)
2. Don’t want to give into the tendency to procrastinate? While this will sound odd coming from me, limiting the items on our To Do list will help us achieve more. Better to accomplish more than we thought we could than to always have things left on our list at the end of the day that we wish we could have accomplished. (I may put this saying on my wall. Maybe.)
3. Tempted to throw up your hands and say, “What’s the use?” Stay focused on the task at hand. Seeking to multitask, which is a fallacy, we become less productive. Too often I flit from one thing to the next to the next when it isn’t necessary.
4. Accountability is extremely helpful. There are online groups and apps that can serve to hold us accountable. But there is always the “old-fashioned” method of pairing up with someone you know personally, sharing your goal with them, and deciding how and when you will check in with one another. 
5. Be kind to yourself. Factoring in “the cheats” can be extremely helpful. Giving up dessert for Lent? Why not allow yourself one treat on the weekend? Miss your devotional time one day? How about setting a goal of reading a brief passage and praying first thing in the morning or last thing at night three times a week? If you can do more … great! If not, you will have achieved your goal. Have more left on your To Do list at the end of the day than you were able to accomplish? See Tips 1 & 2.

Whether we give up something for Lent or not, let’s focus on what Jesus accomplished on our behalf. Let’s seek Him for the strength not to give up on those things He has called us to and not to give in to overwhelm.

Time Well Spent by Katie Gerke

My Solstice started to form in the first cool days of August, when several storm fronts started to gather.

In summers past, because I am in a wheelchair, I always think that “everybody is doing everything but me.” That sends me into a downward spiral of depression of grief because of my many losses.

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance

Ecclesiastes 3:4

This summer was going to be different. I was blessed to be able to see a grief counselor for the first four months of this year. She was able to help me prepare mentally, create tools on how to plan, keep connected with friends and family, and find meaningful activities, to make the best of the fleeting summer months.

But…I am in a season that is not universally defined by a particular date on the calendar or the position of the sun to the equator.

My chair started to become unstable. It prevented me from driving my chair safely and thus limited the outings I could take. The shocks and seating back were no longer of use, and it made my handibus rides intolerable. My back failed to heal after an adjustment at the chiropractor. I have an intolerance to painkillers. I have been in my electric chair for 18 years, and ever since my butt first hit the seat cushion, I have never experienced mind-numbing and limiting lower back pain such as I am now!

We worked so hard and I had so many summer plans. I had full intentions of writing about how my garden grew, my walks and talks with friends, my summer frocks and skimpy tops, having a barbecue or two, and definitely going to the zoo. Needless to say, I just couldn’t see myself venturing too far from home via bike path or handibus. 

My mental, psychological, and spiritual constructs started to become uprooted. The burning in my back consumed my ability to see, hear, speak, and think with any clarity.

What was more tragic was that I was not writing or painting. I started to panic. The warm days of summer were being blown away by the time.

Do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,

what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2 

With my God-given gifts of cleverness, practicality, and diligence, I was able to move forward with some things that needed immediate attention.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 

So my doctor and I have been working on solutions to control my pain and getting x-rays to see exactly what we can’t. A certified wheelchair vendor confirmed that my 10-year-old chair is beyond repair. My occupational therapist and I are working closely with the Alberta Government to order the proper chair and expedite delivery. And finally, more good news, the seating clinic can reinforce my seat back for better comfort and support.

 
When blue sky could be seen and my back pain would subside, I savored these calm moments where I could pray in full sentences. I read, listened to, and meditated on Scripture. A few things struck me – not lightning, but revelations.

It was futile of me to put on the armor of God if I wasn’t going to use it. Wearing a solid breastplate of righteousness and helmet of salvation wasn’t going to be protection if I wasn’t going to faithfully yield my shield and courageously wave the sword of the Holy Spirit. I know this armor protected me from evil, and Satan, but I needed to be more in tune with the unknown evil.

See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth,

waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.

You also be patient. Establish your hearts,

for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

James 5:7- 8 

Now, moving forward since the unusually warm days of mid-September, I have persevered, like the bumblebees and butterflies harvesting the nectar of the late September flowers. It’s having hope that changes in any new season are necessary, like the summer leaves losing their chloroform, as the sun creeps lower and lower towards the horizon, but the new fall colors will shine more brilliantly than the midsummer sun. It’s this light that helps me overcome the darkness in such a time.

I was inspired by what Charles Spurgeon wrote about – a time to be patient:

“When God shall give you a rich return for all you have done for him, you will blush to think you ever doubted; you will be ashamed to think you ever grew weary in his service. You shall have your reward. Not tomorrow, so wait: not the next day perhaps, so be patient. You may be full of doubts one day, your joys sink low. It may be rough windy weather with you in your spirit. You may even doubt whether you are the Lord’s, but if you have rested in the name of Jesus, if by the grace of God you are what you are, if he is all your salvation, and all your desire, — have patience; have patience, for the reward will surely come in God’s good time.”

Katie Gerke was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1988, but has soldiered on despite her losses. Katie started mouth painting in 2008 and has been writing since 2010. She now runs her own business and is still walking with Jesus Christ.

Regardless of My Efforts – Denise M. Ford

As a Christian writer, I recover words to present them in an inspiring way. However, digging to unearth the words during these past two years of post-concussion recovery has been strenuous regardless of my efforts.

I keep focusing on God, searching for words to write through His guidance.  Still recovering words for others, finding it humbling to face a difficult concussion recovery.

“I assure you, your brain’s capacity to think and function still remains.  But you will experience fatigue more quickly as your processing ability requires more energy and focus,” my counselor says.

Those words meant to reassure me that I am not crazy, but that I am going to operate differently regardless of my efforts.

Months later, I drove farther distances as my double vision disappeared due to vision therapy exercises.  My physical confidence increased as I regained a firmer, more steady balance. I could dance with the grandkids in the kitchen and run after them on the playground.  I had achieved a great physical recovery, but my mental processing had not changed.

Currently, my thoughts and ideas still surface when I resume my writing, but I am limited by how long I can endure thinking. I make plans to write and then I realize I need to rearrange my schedule to accommodate how my brain is functioning, or rather fatiguing.

At the end of July, I decided to attend a three-day writer’s conference through on-line streaming. The content would be available for several months, so I didn’t feel pressured by time constraints.  However, I wanted to try to attend in real time to prove to myself that I could concentrate through consecutive sessions.

At first, I felt defeated and overwhelmed.  My husband pointed out that I had managed to listen and watch two complete sessions before I felt tired and overdone.  “You took notes as you were taking in information, that’s amazing!”

I thought back to when I had attended this conference in person several years ago, interacting in crowded rooms, enjoying conversations between sessions, attending the exciting worship time, meeting fellow writers for lively and inspiring lunches and dinners.  I cringed as I thought about enduring that over a few days.  I knew that livestreaming those first sessions had been a gift for me.  

Fix your eyes on God and smile, I reminded myself.

My brain may be completely intact, but my processing ability simply drags slowly behind me when I want it to perform.  I want to enjoy intense conversations again with fellow writers, I want to grapple with words and recover them in unique ways to inspire others.  I want to follow through with a writing plan and not be sidelined by brain fatigue.

I am not crazy, but I still need to accept that I am going to operate differently regardless of my efforts.

Regardless of my efforts.

Life in tandem with God.

Regardless of my efforts He offers grace and mercy.

Regardless of my efforts He reveals what I cannot see or hardly even envision.

Regardless of my efforts He reassures me and clears the mists of fatigue.

Regardless of my efforts I can rejoice in the sporadic blessings of my writing endeavours.

Progressing through this post-concussion recovery could overtake every moment of my day, as I try to be better than the brain blur that descends into the corners of my mind’s clarity. It creeps and covers my thoughts, my ideas, my words.  Unseen and unsubstantiated by anyone, it causes unexpected and annoying hindrances. Fixing my eyes on God and recovering words that He provides often requires too much of me.  Oh, dear God, please return the smile to my face!

Recently I heard a woman speaking about her particular post-concussion journey.  “How would you describe your current situation?” asked the interviewer.  “I am not 100% who I was, but I am 100% who I need to be.”

The other week I am blessed with a day when I am pushing my grandchildren on the swings in our backyard. I begin reciting a favorite children’s poem adding on funny verses meant for the three of us.  “Oh, Nana you’re so silly,” my granddaughter shouts to the sky as she pumps her legs into the air, chiming in with her ideas.  My grandson kicks his feet to emphasize the gurgling giggles erupting from his delight. 

This, this is all I need.  Still pulling out words to be a crazy and joyful Nana!  Hallelujah!

Regardless of my efforts, I still see my God even when I am down in the dumps. I am smiling as I watch how He wipes out my brain blur and, in these moments, I am 100% who I need to be!