What's My Purpose and Passion? by Carol Harrison

 The question about what my purpose and passion happens to be, can be a loaded question that makes me want to shut down and not bother answering - or at least it has on many occasions. Have I known it for a long time or recently discovered it? Has it changed over time or just grown in depth? 

Recently, I heard someone say that to discover, rediscover, or develop your present day passion and purpose, you need to revisit your younger self and see what captured your interest, made you want to spend endless hours in its pursuit, and enjoy the journey. As a teen, reading, studying, research, and writing school reports, essays, and stories captured my attention to the exclusion of many other pursuits. Some might say I exhibited many nerd-like qualities. Yet my main purpose continued to be finishing school and becoming a teacher. How would this passion for academic type pursuits serve me in the "real-world" of everyday life? 

I observed female role models in my life. All of them demonstrated their love for God and family through serving others. They managed households, could grow much in a small garden plot, sewed with ease, quilted, cooked delicious meals, and baked from scratch. Domestic activities in which they excelled and found their passion - or so it seemed to me- helped them serve others with compassion. How did study, reading, and writing fit into a purpose that would help others? I didn't know and felt it must mean I needed to discover another purpose for my life and pray my passions and interests changed. 

If someone asked me this question of purpose and passion in my twenties, thirties, and even into my forties, I would shake my head because I still struggled to figure out that answer. Or I might have thrown out the answer about raising my children, teaching Sunday School, or helping in our business. Yet throughout these decades of uncertainty and busyness, deep down the passion for more creative endeavors round its way into my life through crafts or jotting down ideas but never really pursuing anything. 

As a young girl, I understood that each one is uniquely created by God and we all, as believers, have to share the good news of the gospel. Later, I learned how God gives gifts and abilities for us to use to build others up and bring glory to God. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of this truth as it related to me. 

It took years of floundering, trying various activities, being busy with everyday aspects of life before I discovered the gifts God intended me to use didn't have to look like anyone else's gifts. I didn't have to be my mother or grandmothers, or aunts with their domestic abilities. I needed to be willing for God to use what he had given me, then pursue them, practice them, and persevere in the journey even when I didn't always understand the direction or the reasons. It is more than okay to be who God made me to be. So what is my passion and purpose? 

I am a storyteller. It means being willing to tell the story of what God has and is doing in whatever format that takes - written or oral. It also means participating in the journey with God and taking the next step when I can't see the one beyond that. 

God brought several scripture passages to mind, multiple times until they embedded deep into my heart and mind. 

Psalm 78:1-4, "O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old- what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done."

Psalm 105:1-5, "Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgements he pronounced."

God used those years of fear, of uncertainty, the busyness of raising a family, and working in our own businesses at times, to teach me many things. He showed me through a variety of experiences that he is still the same God as the God of the Bible. He led people into my life who spoke into my heart with compassion, with affirmations, and sometimes with a kick in the seat of the pants as I needed to be nudged from a comfort zone I was never intended to remain in.

Those passions for creativity, study, and research, as well as the desire to teach or help others never changed. It simply developed as I came to terms with the directions God might lead me and how they might not look the same as I imagined or what others may have expected. That is okay. 

Some days are difficult to keep going. The path ahead remains in the shadows and I long to give up, hide out, and forget about sharing stories and God's love with others. Yet persistence or perseverance means I need to keep going one step at a time, allowing God to guide and direct. I don't have to understand all the complexities but rather be available and obedient. 

As I worked through all those thoughts on purpose and passion and how it showed up in my life, I wrote this mission statement a few years ago that sums it up. "As a speaker, published author and storyteller, Carol Harrison is passionate about mentoring people of all ages and abilities to help them find their voice and reach their fullest potential, helping them find a glimmer of hope in every circumstance of life."

In doing this, I can say with the psalmist in Psalm 71:1-4, "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone. Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O Go, till I declare you power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come."  

Carol Harrison keeps plodding on the journey one step at a time as she tells stories for her family and others. She hangs out for hours at a time in front of her computer from her home in Saskatoon, longing that others will be encouraged, entertained, or educated. Most of all that God will have all the glory.