What is it about finding our purpose in life that is so important? A friend of mine once said, "I don't understand why people say they need to find themselves. Find their purpose. Were they lost?"
Somewhere along the way I think most people feel lost or simply lose sight of their goals, not knowing which way to turn or even how to get there.
If you have ever been hurt before you might even feel as if your passion and purpose are driven by your pain and sorrow - the very things that carved their way into your life are now the conversations you have with God and the stories that fill the pages of your journal.
Like many people, I write to heal from the broken road that got to me to where I am today. Yes, it's been hard! There are days when I sit with my pen in hand while the words only echo inside my head. The wounded part of me can't move. My pen is still. The memories are piercing. Every part of me hurts. I stare at the blank page in front of me and will myself to write. Just let it out. The last thing I want is to allow the memories to overtake me - turn a good day into a dreadful one.
I need to write about my past, the things that should be over and done with really are a part of who I am. Each word in my head represents a broken piece of me - pain that continues to heal.
Here I am now years later still putting the fragments of my fractured self back together, paving a new road that doesn't need to bury the old wounds or store them away like they never happened.
In the moments when I feel the old hurts trying to crush me, I know if I can write about it, the pain will have a purpose and so will I.
Thank you for your candidness Vickie.
ReplyDeleteWhy are YOU putting the fractured parts of yourself together? Hand those broken bits to Christ. He'll super glue them together for you. The cracks will still be there to remind you of how far you've progressed.
ReplyDeleteI did that in 2003 and it helped me quell the pain of my past. I still have bad memories crop up in my dreams but I don't feel the agony I once did. Certain scriptures used to trigger me badly too. Now those remind me of the wicked folks who lied to me and used the Bible wickedly.
I hear you, Bruce. I'm one of those people who gives things to God and then takes them back. it's hard. I let go and the triggers happen but I am doing a lot better than I did before. And writing has me more than I ever could have imagined it would.
Delete“In the moments when I feel the old hurts trying to crush me, I know if I can write about it, the pain will have a purpose and so will I.”
ReplyDeleteI feel triumphant when I can write through tears stained glasses and that my Dragon NaturallySpeaking still recognizes my voice regardless of how stuffy my nose gets.
Thanks Katie. No matter how runny the nose, how loud the cries, how wet the paper gets - God hears and sees our every cry. He's right there with us. So amazing that we can come as we are!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing so openly about your journey, Vickie. God has gifted you to write out your pain. I pray He will use what you write to speak into the hearts of others on a similar journey. Broken people understand other broken people, and aren't we all there? Blessings and hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Valerie. When I write about my pain it does make it easier to share it with others as well as my faith. Yes, we all have likely experienced something that makes it less difficult to understand others in similar situations - those are the moments when you realize there was a purpose for it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Valerie. When I write about my pain it does make it easier to share it with others as well as my faith. Yes, we all have likely experienced something that makes it less difficult to understand others in similar situations - those are the moments when you realize there was a purpose for it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Valerie. When I write about my pain it does make it easier to share it with others as well as my faith. Yes, we all have likely experienced something that makes it less difficult to understand others in similar situations - those are the moments when you realize there was a purpose for it.
ReplyDeleteHi Vickie! In this post I see the writing of a wounded healer. "Wounded healer," is a term Henri Nouwen used for those of us aware of our own brokenness or pain, yet still serve others. As a chaplain I would invite people to enter into their pain as they shared their story with me. This is what I hear in your writing, albeit reluctant at times. Keep on writing, my friend. I'm always going to listen to you if you need a listening ear.
ReplyDeleteOh how God uses our pain to touch hearts and minister unto others while healing us. Thanks for your post, Vickie. May God continue to bless you and heal you through the struggle. And may the struggles decrease and victory increase. Praise God.
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