But I’m tired of caregiving! After years of caring for my daughter, a quadriplegic (now an independent adult, thank you, Lord!), followed caring for my mother who passed away after several years battling dementia, I’m finally released from the caregiver role.
And what happens? Everyone wants me to write about it, speak about it, share about it, even sit on an Advisory committee about it.
First I burned out from caregiving!
Now I’m burning out from sharing about the burnout!
“Lord,” I pouted, “I’m tired of this. I feel like an actor who’s been typecast in one role, and no one sees me as anything else.”
I’m not sure how to explain it, but the Lord answered me, loud and clear. “I’ve spent fifteen years teaching you, supporting you, and maturing you through caregiving. Did your prayer to be used by me mean nothing?”
Time for metanoia. (Defn: a change in one's way of life resulting from penitence or spiritual conversion.)
With sincere apologies to the Lord, I did an about-face.
I began to look on these opportunities as a privilege. I made a conscious choice to embrace them.
Still, I need to stay fresh. I need to write on other topics so I don’t feel stagnant.
My blog provides a weekly outlet. There, I can write about any topic I want, and I do. Sometimes the rebel in me rises up and I post words that I know will rub a few folk the wrong way. Other times I don’t feel like dealing with contradictory comments, so I hold back. But those pieces get posted eventually!
|The Writer's Cafe in action|
The Lord opened my eyes to the fact that he's put a great deal of time into growing me through this one life-experience. Once I got past my 'self', I realized it's an honour to be able to share what he’s taught me.
He’s given me free rein everywhere else, though, and that’s where my fresh ideas grow. Who knows? Maybe one day the Lord will assign me a new topic. I just hope it doesn’t take fifteen years of intense labour to become an expert in that one, too!