My Portion - Gloria Guest

“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations to be made. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me! “Martha, Martha, the Lord replied, you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:39-41 {Berean Bible} Was Jesus saying that what Martha was doing, making preparations for all of their visitors, not important? I don’t think so. I think he was saying to Martha, that she had gotten herself worried and distracted to the point of not allowing another their freedom to choose, to the point of not setting her own priorities and choosing more wisely. The thing about distractions is that they are usually good, or at least seem good. I find in my life that I also often use them to avoid something that I am uncomfortable with and don’t want to face. Then I can say that I was too busy to do it. Just like Martha, I choose something else, something that even seems necessary, but I am failing to look deeper into why I made that choice. Or perhaps, even worse, I know why I’m doing it but do it anyways. I find myself in such a place with my writing. I know that I am called to write. I even have a few ideas on what I could write about. I have a writing project in the works. But, I just don’t do it. I let myself be distracted. Sometimes, we do have to put aside our wants and goals for the sake of others. Looking after my grandchildren has been this for me. But there comes a time when we still need to carve out that time to do what we believe God has called us to do. I’m in this hole pretty deep and I still don’t quite know how I will get out of it. One thing that I’ve chosen though is to (at the request of another) try to lead a small writers group in my community. I’ve attempted one before that did not get off the ground. That’s right….I became distracted; most likely with fear. This time, I again feel fear. Mostly it’s the fear of not having enough to offer. I’m not an author of a book. My writing credits consist of newspaper columns and articles but those are all in the past. I have a couple of stories in the Inscribe anthologies. I’ve sent a poem to Fellowship. I write for this Inscribe Blog but have been having trouble with even being faithful to that. Mostly, I’ve written very little in the past ten years. Depression, which in part came upon me from leaving the reporting job that I loved, took over, along with a gathering storm of low self-esteem, loneliness and isolation. We also experienced business, health, injury and family issues during this time. Writing seemed lost to me. As a pick-me-up, and what I thought at the time might be just another distraction, I started to take some editing classes from Simon Fraser University, with the thought that it would keep one foot in the writing world and at the least help to improve my writing. I think it’s been working and that what I originally thought was nothing more than an empty distraction, is turning into a blessing in that I’ve sensed myself coming alive again in my interest to write. Only God knows what that ‘better portion,’ is for each of us. Only we can hear His gentle, even if reprimanding voice for ourselves. I can hear Jesus speaking Martha’s name so gently but saying it twice to get her attention, just as He wants to speak to me. “Gloria, Gloria, you are worried and upset about many things (see above list) but only one thing is necessary.” What is that necessary thing? It’s to leave all else and to sit at the feet of Jesus when He calls me to. To relax in His presence and listen. It is only from there that I can be led into all good things, including my writing. That is my portion.

Gloria writes from her small hamlet of Caron, Sk. where she resides with her husband and new kitten, Tigger (the latest recent distraction). She has written thousands of newspaper articles as a reporter/freelance reporter for various newspapers, mostly enjoying lifestyle pieces. She has also contributed to two Inscribe anthologies and is currently working on a poetry book about Saskatchewan. Other writing interests include memoir and telling stories from her own life to help others who deal with tough issues.