May 11, 2021

Did You Hear? by Carol Harrison


 

Have you ever played the children's game called 'telephone' or sometimes called 'gossip'? It can have humorous results. Its goal, other than a good laugh, is to help with listening skills. The first person whispers a sentence into ear of the one sitting next to them who then repeats it to the next person until it has reached the last child in line. At the end of the line, the sentence is spoken out loud and then the first person tells the original. The two may be close or completely different.

Whispered words are more difficult to hear which is why the telephone game for children has results that make us laugh and wonder how the words could become so twisted in such a short period of time. When words are whispered or spoken aloud into our lives, they carry their powerful and sometimes misunderstood messages deep into our minds and hearts. At times they can encourage us and enable us to try knew things. Yet often, words carelessly said, have cut deeply and the wounds heal slowly, if at all.

Written words have a staying power since they can be read over and over again. Has the author of those written words made the message clear so no miscommunication happens? Will it be uplifting to the reader or does it tear them down? Are the written words true or are they from a skewed perspective of the hurting writer? These are questions to consider before we hit send on an email, post a letter, or publish a piece of writing so that we take into consideration the impact our words will have on the reader. Words are powerful and need to be used correctly. 

Decades ago, a teacher wrote this comment on a short story assignment. “You have an unrealistic viewpoint.” There were few red edit marks on the piece and a very good mark which I have long ago forgotten. But this comment at the bottom of the paper stuck with me. What did he mean? How did I perceive his comments? At the time, it devastated me and as I focused on the comment without asking him any questions, I began to believe he meant I wasn’t a writer and should never aspire to write. In hindsight, I know it meant his viewpoint on life and my Christian perspective differed greatly and, in his opinion, mine was the unrealistic one. After all, how could God possible redeem a life and help a rebellious young person change their life, like my story portrayed?

Those words, misunderstood at the time, begged for clarification. Rather than seek that, I allowed them to push down a love of telling stories in written form for decades. Words are powerful and easily misunderstood. If possible, it is important to seek a further conversation about the meaning behind the words. 

But they can also be uplifting. Years ago, a lovely Christian woman, spoke words of encouragement into my life at a time when everything I heard was perceived in a negative way. She listened. She chose her words wisely but spoke truth when she asked questions, like, “You struggle with depression don’t you?” But she didn’t leave it at that. She gathered several other Christian women who lived with the black cloud of depression and facilitated a safe place to share, cry, vent, and learn to trust God’s promises for our lives, and hear Him whisper truth into our hearts and minds. She spoke words that encouraged, lifted us up, told us the good she observed in us, and shared God’s word with us as well. She also suggested saving notes that encouraged us. Did someone send you a card that spoke positively to and about you? Save it and reread it when the negative monkey voice chatters in your mind and threatens to pull you down.  Encouraging words are powerful to build others up.

Words uttered to or about me are only half the equation. What I do with my words, both spoken and written? There are times I need to vent, to get the problems, the hurts, and the negative voices chattering in my mind out of me. I try and dump those in a journal. Sometimes, looking back at it, I wonder if I should tear it up. Yet it shows where I was during a specific period of time. It offers me an opportunity to look back and see how God led through those difficult times. The book’s feelings won't be hurt, no matter how discouraging or hurtful the words I place in it might be. It doesn’t get torn down or thrown off track. It becomes a safe place to dump the hurts, discouragements, or questions I have. An even better place to go with them is to the feet of Jesus, before being tempted to hurl angry, hurtful words at other people.

What words do I speak? Are they helpful? Will they encourage others, build them up, and help them or will my words stab them and drag them down? The Bible talks a lot about our words and how to interact with others, especially those of the household of faith.

Ephesians 4: 29-32, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do no grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed, for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one anther, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Words pop out of our mouths so easily and we can’t take them back. Saying sorry or forgiving others for hurtful words allows us to move forward with grace. Yet as human beings, those words linger in the background for too long. The game of 'telephone' played by children may make us chuckle, but in real life the twisted messages and gossip lingers long after we hear them. 

Words are powerful for good and for hurting, so may we pray with the Psalmist, David, in Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer.”

 

 

Carol Harrison has rekindled her love of not only telling stories but writing them down to share with others. God's whispers words of affirmation and often sends them in a tangible form just at the right time for which she is grateful. 

5 comments:

  1. I related to so much you said here, Carol. That children's game really is a apt object lesson, isn't it? Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  2. Thanks for sharing, Carol. It's a good reminder to build others up with our words. Also, if we don't understand what others have told us, we need to look for clarification. May all of our words be uplifting to others.

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  3. .” If possible, it is important to seek a further conversation about the meaning behind the words.”
    That is so true, Carol, and I believe it is a lost art, especially these days. Rather than working through conflict, we tend to assume what someone meant by their words, and we are too easily offended by them. But like you said, it’s a good idea to sit with each other and have open dialogues with respect and with the willingness to listen to each other and try to understand each other. Words do have immense power.
    Pam M

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  4. Thanks. Carol. It seems misunderstandings are so common place today as written messages have become the norm with texts and emails. I agree we must be ever vigilant to give context, meaning and edification in our writing. Thanks so much.

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  5. Thanks for sharing how our words can get twisted or miscommunicated until we clarify what we meant. I love your reminder, "Words pop out of our mouths so easily and we can’t take them back. Saying sorry or forgiving others for hurtful words allows us to move forward with grace." Grace. That's what God is teaching me.

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