An End or a Beginning? - Marnie Pohlmann

The view from the top of the hill looking over the valley shows a landscape clothed in summer greens and autumn golds with deep red highlights shining in the afternoon’s pale sun. The air is still warm, but with an undertone encouraging longer sleeves as the breeze arouses goosebumps on my arms.

I’m not ready to let go of summer, especially as the long days did not bring enough time in the sun. Cloudy skies and raindrops discouraged me from enjoying lazy hours in a lawn chair. I’m not ready for the shorter days of fall that move too quickly into the cold white season.

Autumn has always been my favourite season. I love the smell of fresh paper and coloured pens as the stores fill with school supplies and the promise of new learning, experiences, and friendships. Fresh produce is plentiful and tasty. Activities I have enjoyed or wish to discover are beginning to be scheduled. A restful summer usually means I am energized for the busy change of seasons.

But not this year. This year I look in the mirror to see myself clothed in highlights of gray, sometimes silver as my hair catches the pale sun. I still feel young, but my aging skin needs longer sleeves as it thins and becomes marred.

I’m not ready to let go of youth, or even middle age, especially as that time of my life was not filled with long days of enjoyment. Sadness and tears discouraged me from growing to where I hoped I would be by this time. I’m not ready for the fall days of life that seem to move so quickly into the winter season.

As I considered this Autumn time of my life, I expected it would be more productive and enjoyable. I enjoy my work but am ready to leave it behind to make room in my days for other learning, experiences, and friendships. New opportunities are plentiful and exciting. Activities I once enjoyed or ones I wish to begin could be scheduled, but I do not have the energy to try them.

At this time in my life I see a tired woman who doesn’t know where the time went and has thin skin that reacts too often in ways that cause scars or bruises. Yet this is the season of life I am in. There is no going back to Spring or Summer. There is only Autumn, which will turn too quickly into old age. I don’t want this time of life to lead into a winter of discontent, so I ask God to develop in me a renewed love for life and the discipline to make this season one of growth, with productive activity in His plan. I may be aging, but I am not too old to learn new lessons about God and walking with Him in every season. I will continue to climb the hill, following the path God has appointed for me. I will take time to see the beauty of this present season rather than dwell on the losses of the past or predicting the trials of the future.

What about you?

Are you taking joy in the present season of your life?

Or are you hibernating, sleeping through the days as they are neither colourful nor filled with opportunity? 
Do you view the Autumn of life as a time for fresh growth, new experiences, and new connections?

Will you carry on in the direction God has been leading you in, knowing the road may be more difficult but trusting the view from the top of the hill will be clear and beautiful?

Are you content, treasuring your present season, seizing the opportunities God provides, and actively living through shortening days?

May God provide you with the assurance of His presence, which is all we need no matter our season of life.