Over the last few months days have often blurred together with life changes beyond my control due to my husband's health concerns. In the midst of caring for him, speaking at a week of camp and attempting to do some writing in addition to daily household obligations, I caught a bug that took up residence in my lungs. The infection caused asthma to flare up worse than it had for almost three years and I had a time of enforced rest - as much rest as the coughing and gasping for breath allowed.
I must admit asking God what his plans were in all of this health concern chaos. What was he trying to teach me? As my health improved, I tried to determine what should I be working on in this new season needing to rest and care for my husband.
Ideas flow through my mind and I grab pen and paper to jot them down before they disappear like fog burning off in the sunshine. Anxiety about the unknown plagues me. I scribble thoughts, prayers and questions into my journal begging to hear God's still small voice about the next step for writing, speaking and just daily living. What can and should I say yes to? What needs to be put on hold because the time is not yet right?
At the beginning of this season of change filled with so many unknowns, our pastor preached a series of sermons about stewardship - not just of our finances but every area of our lives including our God-given gifts. These Biblical truths still echo in my heart and mind. I add them to the questions I pour out to God about what the stewardship of my storytelling gift should look like right now.
I must admit impatience rears its head way too often. I identify more with Martha bustling around trying to accomplish many things in a short amount of time than with Mary who took time to rest and learn at the feet of Jesus. I equate being busy with productivity and worry about resting being thought of as procrastination. Some times the line blurs between rest and simply putting things off for another day. Only by God's grace will I know the difference.God has given me the gift of teaching and storytelling but he has also given me a heart full of empathy. Yes I need to redeem the time and tell the stories of the amazing things the God of the Bible still does today. Resting and learning at the feet of Jesus will help me recognize his still small voice and learn patience yet again.
No matter what door God opens or when he opens it, I want to be prepared to obey and walk through it. For now I must take each day as it comes and have God's love, patience and compassion flow in and through me as I care for my husband where ever that journey may take us. Time at home with him allows me to keep putting those ideas to paper or typing them on to the computer and connecting with others in person when the time is right.Seasons change each year. There are things I enjoy in each of them and some I like better than others but it takes all of them to make up the total package. In my life the seasons change along with expectations I have as well as the obligations and privileges they afford. I enjoy some of the seasons or parts of them better than others but God uses all of them to make me into the person he has planned for me to be. May I be willing to allow his good work to help me grow in faith and obedience.
As a speaker, published author and storyteller,
Carol Harrison is passionate about mentoring people of all ages and abilities
to help them find their voice and reach their fullest potential. She shares
from her heart, telling stories from real life experiences and God’s Word to
encourage people and help them find a glimmer of hope no matter what the
circumstances. She believes we need to continuously grow in our walk with God
and lives out her storytelling passion by speaking at women’s events and
retreats, Bible Camps as well as school assemblies and church events. Carol is
a wife, mother of four adult children and grandmother to twelve. She makes her
home is Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada.
I can relate to your "life changes beyond my control," Carol. Thankful that God's plans for us are always for our good, though getting there isn't always easy or even pleasant.
ReplyDeleteLife can be uncertain at times, for sure, but isn't it wonderful that we can relax in God's care? Thanks for your post today.
ReplyDeleteCarol,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing so openly and honestly about your struggles. I am also in a season of change. Yes, may we continue to grow in faith and obedience! Amen
I like what you said, Carol, in your closing paragraph about how in each season there are thing you enjoy and like some better than others, but how it takes all of them to make up the total package. So true. For me, I'm always on the lookout for His good gifts in each season, those 'glimpses of heaven' that bring me closer to himself. I get a sense of your heart's longings to do the right thing as the seasons unfold. It's my prayer that, though the cold winds blow, your heart will find sweet rest in the shelter of His love for you. Many blessings, Carol, for grace and mercy and strength.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing from your heart, Carol. Since I also am caregiver for my husband, your blog really touched my heart. I especially appreciate your paragraph that begins, "No matter what door God opens or when he opens it, I want to be prepared to obey and walk through it. For now I must take each day as it comes and have God's love, patience and compassion flow in and through me as I care for my husband where ever that journey may take us.”
ReplyDeleteLast year I also got sick, so I had to drop out of outside activities. My doctor advised me to give up music at church and my writing. He may not have appreciated how difficult this would be for me. Let’s say I eased up on them, as I knew I needed to rest when I could and focus on Hank’s health.
I’m feeling considerably better this year, but I know I need to ease up on my expectations of myself to stay well. Hank is resting more and I am trying to use some of this time for writing.
May we rest in the Lord, Carol. Amen.