September 07, 2018
Encouragement for the Daunted [And a Tip for Memoir Writing] Kim Rempel
What kind of memories did you make this summer?
(Can you remember? haha... )
As I've been working hard on my memoir these last few months, (hoping to finish it this winter so you can finally read it!!) I discover an important truth: memories are our own. No one else can enjoy them unless we TALK about them - unless we SHARE them somehow.
There are lots of things I wish I could ask my Mom.
Things no one else on the planet knows.
Things I'll never know now.
They are lost forever.
As a writer, a communicator, and a human, that makes me sad.
The good thing about it is that it reminds me how powerful storytelling is, and motivates me to keep writing down stories. Recording my observations, thoughts, and even the everyday happenings and goofy stories that are part of our family (like my weird jellyfish experience) So we remember! (I'm sure half the reason I'm a writer at all is because my memory is terrible.)
All that to say two things.
First, I want to encourage you to SHARE your memories. Record them somewhere. It doesn't have to be a book or even a cohesive story. Just write down or voice record memories as they come to you. Take notes. At least they're down then, and can be shared later if not now. At least it will be an option.
Recently I was chatting with a woman who has wanted to write her memoir. For years she's wanted to. For years, I've heard her tell interesting stories that I agree, should be recorded. And for years, she's put it off. As I explored her reasons for being stalled, I discovered several. One of them was this idea that to write a memoir required deciding to sit down and plod through almost without stopping until it was done. In her mind, it was a giant undertaking, so she put it off until 'one day' when she 'had time' for that kind of dedicated time investment.
But 'one day' is a day that never comes.
Never.
"It doesn't have to be about sitting and writing a book," I said, "You tell interesting stories to your family and friends all the time! It can be just writing down one. Just start with one. That's it. Put it in a folder, and you're done."
"Oh! I never thought about it like that," she said, seeming less burdened.
"It's not about a big project. Just getting down the pieces so the memories don't fade away or die with you."
I'm saying it to you too; if you're putting off writing your memoir or even just jotting down some of your memories, please don't. Get them down. Even just one memory stuffed in a folder is better than none.
The second thing I'd like to tell you is a secret about writing.
Whether you're documenting memories, analyzing a process, or spinning a tale, writing can feel like a big undertaking. And getting that writing into readers' hands (aka marketing), is the Goliath we all face.
It's all so DAUNTING sometimes, isn't it?
It's enough to make a writer dream of the hermit life.
Here's the secret I've discovered.
Action is the cure.
It really is. Especially when we're moving with the trust that God will open doors that need opening and close doors that need closing.
Listen, whether you believe in God or not, the truth is a static object can't be steered.
Get moving - pick a direction - and you'll start to see a path unfold.
It won't feel safe, certain, or even sane necessarily, but doors will start to open and close around you.
God said he'd part the water for Moses and the Israelites all those years ago in the desert,
but Moses had to first step into the water. He had to literally take that step of faith. This is often how God operates.
Don't know what your writing 'voice' is yet? Write anyway.
Not sure how the story you're writing will end? Keep writing.
Wondering if anyone will even read it when it's done? Keep going!
Because things will become clearer as you move forward.
Jeff Goins would call this process 'Practicing in Public'.
Jim Watkins would say 'a river cuts through rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence.'
If you want to get somewhere, it requires moving.
In the meantime, what's one highlight (memory) from your summer?
Consider it a writing challenge ;)
Comment below! I'd love to read it.
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But 'one day' is a day that never comes. This is a very profoundly true statement! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYour piece is delightful and so encouraging, no doubt, for you, but also for each of your readers. Basically, you are saying, and I paraphrase, "Just get 'er down on paper, just one little ol' story, and you'll be glad you did." Speaking of Jeff Goins, I've signed up for his present 31 Day Challenge of 500 words a day. What you are saying coincides beautifully with this. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Kim! You are indeed a motivator. Here's a memory from my summer this year.My wife and I were invited to join my daughter and her family for ten days in a beach house they rented in Oregon. Tow of their three children are on the autism spectrum. My daughter and husband wanted to find out how successful it would be to have a vacation as a family. They haven't had a vacation since they sarted having children. Well, in summary of this week they concluded they wouldn't go as far from home again. On the way down the kids didn't sleep. It was the same going home. During our stay the first two nights were a disaster. The kids just wouldn't settle. During the day for the most part the kids had fun especially at the beach. The beach was only a three minute walk from the house. We took lots of photos to capture some of our memories. It was a good and revealing time for us. Terry and I saw firsthand some of the challenges our daughter and son-in-law face on a daily basis. They are always experiencing some level of tiredness. Terry and I did some respite care to give them a break so they could have time together apart from the kids. That however just wsn't enough. Our daughter and son-in-law are amazing parents, but they are only human. When our "vacation" came to an end Terry and I drove to portland to meet a couple from our church who were there visiting. We stayed overnight then went home. Our daughter and hubby went home right away but it took them fifteen hours o get there. When they arrived home they were all exhausted. They said they will not do a trip like that again. It left Terry and I with bittersweet memories and greater appreciation of the challenges parents of "special needs" children live with. is memory is one of sadness and happiness.
ReplyDeleteI'm snitching a comment space, Kim, but my heart goes out to Alan and Terry and family. To them I offer the pray, May God bless you and keep you and make his face shine on you and be gracious to you and give you his peace. (From memory, so hope I got that right.) Amen.
ReplyDeleteI've been known to say that "memories can be a gift or a curse." Some things I wish I couldn't remember at all while other others I am delighted to pull from my minds storage bank. Good or bad I'm still grateful for the life lessons that develop as a result of these memories. Yes... a lot of my memories - the good, the bad and the ugly have made their way to paper.
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