I thought I would have been
further ahead by now.
After over twelve years of being
a paid published writer, and after years of devouring marketing and leadership
books, I knew some stuff. So when I decided to go full time with it, I expected
my sideline freelancing career to swell to mushroom-cloud heights. Work would
flow in beyond what I could handle. Money would pour in too, because I was
finally prepared to press the button.
Alas, it has not proven to be so.
Eighteen months since officially
going ‘full time’, I’m still beating the bushes for work and slowly – oh, so
very slowly building up my clientele. Worse than that, going full time kicked
off a full blown identity crisis.
New life stages can do that.
Instead of racing in any one
direction, I find myself standing at a crossroad most days, wondering which
path I’m destined or willing to commit to.
I confess, it’s frustrating to
watch others rise to success with great speed and little effort, while I toil
away, pushing the same dumb rock up the same dumb hill. Especially when I know
God has called me to write, and I’m trying to follow Him.
Then a fellow Christian will
delight in the ease and speed of their success, telling of how God rained jobs
and connections and money on them and they didn’t have to lift a finger.
I’m glad. I really am. He does
that sometimes and it’s awesome.
Most of the time, He doesn’t.
Most of the time, a waiting
period or trial or desert precedes the promise.
This week, as I was thinking
about the slowness of my success and my frustration with it, I remembered how
God led the Israelites into the Promised Land.
He promised it long before He ever gave it. They had to wait. When they had finally been trained in the desert to obey and trust, they were at last led to the Promised Land.
He promised it long before He ever gave it. They had to wait. When they had finally been trained in the desert to obey and trust, they were at last led to the Promised Land.
“Remember how the Lord your God
led you through the wilderness for those forty years, humbling you and testing
you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his
commands. Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your
God disciplines you for your own good.”
Deuteronomy 8: 2,5
BUT. Even when they were finally
trained in the desert and sufficiently warned, the Promised Land wasn't dropped
in their lap. They still had to work for it. Piece by piece God would help them
acquire it as they continued to practice the trust and obedience and humility
they'd learned in the desert. He did this so they would not become overrun
by the wild animals that would fill the vacant land (Deut 7:22)
Quick success is dangerous.
God warned them before going in that
they must guard themselves against pride. As they would experience victory
after victory, the temptation would be to think it’s because they’re awesome.
“After the Lord your God has done
this for you, don’t say in your hearts, “The Lord has given us this land
because we are such good people!”” (Deut 9:4)
When I think
of my own desire for quick and easy victory, I’m thankful for God’s warning to
the Israelites because that's exactly what would happen to me - I would become
proud. More proud than I am already. I would forget everything I'd
learned while I was pushing that same dumb rock up that same dumb hill.
I
say this to encourage you. If you’re feeling held back or slowed down, if
you’re feeling like success, however you define it, is always just out of
reach, take heart. First of all, you’re not alone in your frustration. I don’t
know about you, but I always feel better when I know I’m not the only one with
issues.
Secondly, know that this thing you’re trying to do is going to take a while.
Secondly, know that this thing you’re trying to do is going to take a while.
I sigh
inside when I hear, “it’s about the journey, not the destination”. I’m a
destination girl. I just want to get there. And quickly. But it’s desert time,
and God’s not letting me out of here until I learn some things.
Maybe you’re
in a desert too. Let’s resolve together to embrace the desert. God wants to
spend time with us here, teach us, prepare us, and grow us in character for the
next step. Let’s resolve to settle in and try to enjoy all we learn along the
way.
Kimberly Dawn Rempel helps authors and entrepreneurs build their business and their faith through 1:1 coaching, editing, and book marketing. Click here to Download her free guide, 14 Ways to Leverage Your Book or join her Facebook Group, Marketing-Savvy Authorpreneurs HERE.
Thank you Kim for your honest heart, I identify with this as well. the destination part is far more fun to dream about than the journey is some days:)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. Thanks for reading!
ReplyDeleteI think most of us feel better when we know we're not the only ones facing a particular issue. I think that's why God allows us to experience difficult things, so we will have hearts of compassion and empathy and remain relatable to others. Thanks for sharing, Kim.
ReplyDeleteI sigh inside when I hear, “it’s about the journey, not the destination”. I’m a destination girl. I just want to get there. I agree with you, most of us are destination bound ... I smiled as I read your very catchy title :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this honest look at the journey Kim. I felt your heart in this post. It is a passionate heart. Perhaps we can all continue to encourage each other along the way as we persevere in our calling to write. We can also rejoice when we hear of those who may be a "success." I like to think we are all successful because we don't give up. I rejoice in your success Kim. We are in this together. You are not alone.
DeleteI can understand your discouragement, Kimberly, because I've been there a time or two. During my teaching years, when I wrote and had my writing published, my husband would say, "Why don't you wait to write until you're retired?" I wrote anyway.
ReplyDeleteNow Hank says, "We're supposed to be retired and here you are dealing with deadlines . . ." I write anyway. Since I'm retired, you might think I have all the time in the world, but life is still going on. And it isn't always easy. Still I write, because I don't know how not to write.
Yes, for me, it has taken a "stinking" long time for success. By worldly measures and for income tax purposes, I most certainly wouldn't be considered a success. I haven't yet "taken hold of it", as Paul says, but I persevere, because I don't know how to quit, nor do I want to.
Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
To be successful at anything takes a lot of passion, patience, and perseverance. Fortunately, I was blessed with an optimistic spirit and a stubborn disposition. I agree with Alan's statement that we are successful because we refuse to give up. No matter how discouraging it feels sometimes, as long as we continue to have faith in ourselves and refuse to call it quits, we will eventually achieve success. In the meantime, we can support and encourage each other in the journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting yourself out there. It helps me (and maybe the rest of us) remember we share a lot of fears, ambitions and insecurities in common. And we hold faith in common. Trusting God makes waiting worth it.
ReplyDelete