I think this will be a Thanksgiving I’ll remember for
awhile. First came the news that my mom had diabetes. Then she and my step dad
were in a car accident. Thankfully, they weren’t badly injured. Mom suffered
some whiplash. Then came the storm. Winds howled at sixty kilometers an hour
plus. At some points, wind speeds of 125 km/hr were recorded. This caused
accidents, property damage and power outages. We were among the lucky ones to
get our turkey roasted. I finished the sides on my barbecue. As I review, I
realize this is about the story of my life for the last year.
I know the purpose of a writer’s conference is to encourage
writing. I guess I knew going in, my heart wasn’t there. I enjoyed meeting the
people whose names I see on the listserv and Facebook. It was nice to put real
people to the computer generated images. But my enthusiasm waned during the
workshops. Then I attended Melanie Fischer’s session. I know what I got out of
it wasn’t on her agenda but it was on God’s. I needed a break from writing.
For months, I’ve pushed myself to the computer and struggled
to get things written. When I reread these efforts, I can see the lack of cohesiveness
in the words. When I brought up the subject of taking a break with fellow
writers, I got the standard advice to get to the computer and it will happen. I
was miserable.
In Melanie’s workshop, we were asked to figure out the “cubby
hole” where God wants us. The heaviness lifted as I accepted God had a
different place for me than behind the computer for a time.
I came home rejuvenated. The guilt of not sitting at my
computer was gone and still is. Funny, I’ve resisted this for so long and now
that I just let go, things are happening. A lady read my book and loved it. She’s
not a believer. She then gave her friend the book. I haven’t had encouragement
like that in ages.
I will write again. I can feel the Nanowrimo urge building.
But I won’t fight the rest and will remain a stranger to my computer until the
Holy Spirit shows me the time has come to let Him speak through my
fingers once again.
Sorry to hear that your thanksgiving memories are riddled with such things as health issues and car accidents. Not something you would expect. Glad to hear no one was hurt badly. It is very difficult to write when your heart is not in it. Where do the words come from then? I love the line, "God had a different place for me." By recognizing this you were able to relieve the guilt and confirm that you will write again. You're already thinking about Nanowrimo! Enjoy the rest.
ReplyDeleteThank you Vickie for the encouragement. Sometimes a difficult time brings about the most blessings. I have much to be thankful for.
DeleteThis is actually very encouraging. A time of rest is important and necessary and I'm so glad you went to Mel's workshop and felt that release. May you be blessed during this season of 'fallow'. (We had high winds and power outages at thanksgiving too!)
ReplyDeleteIt was quite a storm. There are many who didn't have a turkey and are trying to pick up the pieces of debris left behind.
DeleteOh, the stresses of life are many! There is such wisdom in your choice to rest (without guilt!) Thanks for sharing your struggle, and your peace. God's path seldom looks like we think it will...
ReplyDeleteSo true Marnie. I think the conference showed that. So many struggles.
DeleteI'm in the same place as you, Tammy. Haven't written creatively for some time. God showed me many years ago that our lives are made up of seasons. Once I accepted that, I realized I could settle into a season that stretched me (translated - didn't like!), knowing it was only for a time. I, too, am in a non-writing season. The Lord showed me this isn't lost time, though. Instead, he has me digging into scripture. Preparation for something? I don't know. But it feels positive when I think of it this way, and not negative. Maybe the challenge is to accept the Lord having us step away from something so we can ask him what it is he's primed us to do right now.
ReplyDeleteOh Bobbi, stretching is always interesting. Preparation seasons are hard. I pray you will enjoy the journey.
DeleteAmazing, Tammy. I am so happy that you have come to a decision that gives you peace. In the meantime, God has no need of, nor has he taken, a vacation. He is working through what you have already written and through what you are learning when you let God lead.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of a strange Thanksgiving, perhaps you can look at your new revelation about your need and your privilege to take a break from writing. I enjoyed meeting you in person too. Tammy. May God bless and continue to guide you.
I sure hope He hasn't taken a vacation--I need Him as we all do. It's hard to be in the preparation for something stage of life. That's what this feels like.
DeleteI very much enjoyed meeting you. Somehow it changes the way I read things. I hear your voice in your posts and they reach much deeper after a personal connection.
I've been there, Tammy...in that pit where I felt like the whole writing world was looking down at me, chastising me for not writing. But in the end I realized that I was the biggest chastiser of all--that I was placing guilt on myself (and listening to the enemy in the process). Then God brought two powerful books to my attention to help me realize that He is not and never was the one chastising or judging...but that HE loves me, He LOVES me, He loves ME! The two books: Crazy Love by Francis Chan and The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning. And one of my favourite verses, perhaps my favourite is Song of Solomon 7:10: "I am my Beloved's and His desire is for me." (NASB) Thanks for sharing your heart. Releasing it is part of the healing. And it was so good to meet you at conference.
ReplyDeleteOh Tammy,
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that you came away knowing we don't "have to do" something. God will show you the way no matter what direction you want to take. If you are feeling like stopping - stop - there is no "have to" with God unless He tells you. Obviously He was telling you to take a break. I loved meeting you face to face and I was very glad that you pushed past the "I don't wanna go" and went. I was blessed.
Blessings,
Janis
I have been in a bit of a "windstorm" myself lately so I have not been keeping up to these posts over the past while. Thanks to Bobbi, I was directed to your post, and am deeply blessed by it. I am so grateful that I was used to help you find your "cubby hole." You are right, that lesson was not the forefront of my message, but that is what makes living for the Lord so beautiful. We just need to show up where He calls us to--whether it be in front of our computer or away from it at rest--and He will do the work in His way and in His time.
ReplyDeleteI pray for this to be a beautiful season of restoration for you!
Many blessings my dear sister in Christ.