Change by Loretta Bouillon

Today I feel grateful. Sitting on my porch, looking out over the expanse of my yard, my flower pots are still in bloom, but the fall colours are in the background. The view signifies change.

I love the change of seasons here, in Northern British Columbia. Sometimes, I fantasize about living in a warm climate where there are only two seasons: sunny/hot and warm/rainy. But really, as I look out at my flowers against the background of the golden trees, there is something inside of me that feels excited about the fall. On the horizon awaits a youth conference with my teens, a little trip to see my son at university and of course Christmas will be right around the corner.

At the same time, I fight some sadness and a bit of fear as a season of my life comes to an end.  My sixteen year homeschool career is coming to a close. I struggle to let go. I struggle to re-establish my identity which used to be “homeschooling mom”. My youngest is in grade 11 at our local school, and my daughter who has just graduated has gone back for one semester to do two extra courses. So now what?

I have been hired as a “teacher on call” at the school. Never in my wildest dreams did I see myself teaching at a school especially after “retirement”!  However, I was asked if I would be interested and after praying about it I felt to give it a try. If I think about it, I am a bit terrified. But if I don’t think about it (and relax in the peace that God brought the position to me) then I’m okay. It’s really the perfect job for me as being “on call” will allow me time to write.

I also plan to get serious about my writing. To write every day, to take my personal blog in a new direction and to write according to a schedule (for those of you who know me, you would know that is my biggest challenge!). I recently attended the Inscribe Writer’s conference.  I am grateful for Melanie Fischer and Tracy Krauss who did workshops on blogging. Both of them inspired me to look at my blog with a fresh perspective. I also bought Melanie’s Fischer’s book called Ya…But How? It is for building your online platform for the “very very beginner” and I plan to make good use of it!

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I had a wonderful “blue pencil” review with Pam Mytroen. She reviewed my children’s picture book that I wrote twelve years ago about educating the young child on alcoholism and sobriety. I have tried to submit it a couple of times with the same comment received: “although we find merit in the content of this manuscript, the target audience would be too small to risk taking you on.”  I have been advised to self-publish but that means paying an illustrator and the cost is too great. Pam was so encouraging, saying that this book needs to be published. After taking her suggestions, I polished  the piece and sent it to the Canscaip (Canadian Society of Children’s Authors, Illustrators and Performers) annual writing for children competition.  The ten top submissions will be sent to three major children’s publishers for consideration.  I will leave it in God’s hands now.

Change... It can be a good thing. Without God it can be scary and overwhelming but right now it’s time to smile at the memories, to let the flock fly and step into the next chapter of my life. Therefore I will look to Him for guidance each day with a thankful heart, and trust that He also wants the very best for me.