Love is in the air. Well, I guess it’s out there; it certainly isn’t in me of late. I haven’t been bearing all things or enduring all things very well. Instead of kisses, there are complaints on my lips. There isn’t any kindness in me, only anger, irritability, short temperedness. Many things provoke me; get under my skin like a bad rash.
I could give several excuses for my attitude and behaviour: I’m tired, no, exhausted is more like it; I’m not well; doctors aren’t moving fast enough to help me – oh, yeah, I know there are others more ill than me and must be attended to first. My new career as a psychotherapist isn’t taking off on a run as I thought it would (was I wrong when I thought You called me). I’m carrying a burdensome debt because of the education to get this worthless piece of paper that says 'Master’s Degree' – big fat hurry deal! Now I’m working as a spare school bus driver (backup driver for those who can’t make it to work) and I’ve discovered there are many drivers taking time off – so, I’m up at 5:00 am and on the job by 6:30 am, filling in for someone five days a week – a different route, a different bus each week sometimes two or three different routes and buses in one week; in between driving, I race to my office to counsel a client who can’t pay, so I drive to pay the office rent, liability insurance, and memberships to keep my professional status – to be creditable.
I changed careers at the age of sixty-one! What was I thinking?
Regardless of how I’m feeling, you, Lord still love me. It is your love that sustains me. You never give up on me. You are always there for me. You patiently listen to my complaints then slip your loving arms around me drawing me close to you and whisper encouraging words in my ear. Forgive my complaining, my unthankfulness, and my insufficient communion with you. Jesus, you are all I need. I love You!
Your complaining rebellious little child,