Cancer at Christmas by Alan Anderson

 

Cancer News

 

“You have cancer.” These three words were directed at my wife five years ago, in October 2017. I remember my first thought after this message penetrated my brain. “No, not again!”

 

 

Christmas 2017 soon settled in on us. We experienced a sense of peace stronger than our upset. Here is a response to how we processed our cancer reality in the 2017 Christmas season.

 

“By faith, I recognize trials give evidence that even in this experience my wife is going through, we can rejoice together. This is not saying that we think cancer is good or that I am happy my wife has cancer. I can say we can be joyful, for God knows all about it. This trial has not taken God by surprise. He has given us assurance of his love and comfort in a very real way.”

https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/37258556/7108807865702777159

 

 

Thank God for Healing

 

In mid-November 2017, a friend at church gave us some healing oil he had brought from the Holy Virgin Cathedral in San Francisco. Terry’s cancer experience included a bleeding issue we were concerned about. We used the oil as a step of faith and prayed God would heal her. The next morning, the bleeding stopped, never to return. We didn’t try to explain it but accepted it as from God. His love, mercy, and will are stronger than our skepticism.

 

 

On January 8, 2018, Terry had surgery to arrest her uterine cancer. Her surgeon presented himself as a compassionate healer. Thanks be to God, Terry’s surgery lasted only thirty-five minutes. Prior to the operation, the surgeon informed me it would take anywhere from forty-five to ninety minutes. Even the surgeon was surprised at the surgery’s duration.

 

To date, Terry has been cancer free for almost five years. We do not take this measure of healing for granted. Instead, we thank God for His love and mercy on us.

 

A Reflection

 

In times of personal struggle, I retreat to the ever-ready embrace of poetry. Here is a poem I wrote as my reflection of Terry’s cancer experience.

 

 

Cancer At Christmas: a husband’s poem for his wife

 

The news is more than sad, but this year

we celebrate Christmas,

not cancer.

 

I will be honest in my heart,

share cries and whimpers,

feel numb,

shake a fist at heaven.

 

My head held up only by my hands,

offers you, my love, who brings me this news,

a face wet with tears,

frozen fear.

 

Why God, I ask, would there be cancer

at Christmas? Help me, I pray, help

my darling.

 

My love—you amaze me.

Yes, you live.

Yes, we live.

 

We hang decorations, drink eggnog,

romance each other, your words slipping

out like healing hands, touching me,

but it’s me who wants to support you.

 

We celebrate Christmas,

not cancer. In this together,

we hold on.

 

Never let go of the moment,

any moment.

 

This illness will not be forever.

We have peace, stillness.

 

So, my love, sleep like a baby

in the arms of He who loves us.

God is not dumbfounded,

by this fiend,… cancer.

 

Joy is our companion.

We weep, yes,

Yet we rejoice. We are not alone.

 

Immanuel, God with us,

Is unseen yet present.

 

Let Him love us.

Let me hold you, my love, you, not cancer.

This year,

 We celebrate Christmas.

 

 

Dear Reader Friends

If you or a loved one are living with an illness, please know you are not alone. Your illness, your tears, do not take God by surprise. Dear ones, not even cancer can separate us from the love of God.

 

Alan lives in Deroche, B.C. with his wife, Terry, and their poodle, Charlie. He contributed stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope Publishing, 2017; Story by Story: The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers Publishing, 2018; Easter Stories & More by InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship, 2021. He is currently working on a book expressing the grief of grieving grandparents entitled Hidden Poetic Voices: A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith, and Poetry. Alan periodically writes articles for FellowScript Magazine. He has written posts for our InScribe blog since 2015. Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca.