2020: Not the Way I Planned It by Steph Beth Nickel

2020: The Year of ______

No matter how you filled in the blank w-a-y back in December 2019 or January of this year, it’s almost guaranteed these past 10 months have not gone as you expected.

COVID-19. Economic uncertainty. Kids at home … all. the. time.

Pivot. Overwhelm. The New Normal.

I know too many people who have faced unfathomable challenges this year to offer platitudes or pat answers.

I do, however, want to encourage you, knowing your plans for 2020 have not unfolded as you expected.

Here are seven things that can help you purge some stress and possibly, give you hope for 2021, despite what has become The Year of Unmet Expectations.

Pick up a pen (or sit down at your computer) and pour out your questions, uncertainties, and frustrations on paper. No one else has to read these musings—ever. In fact, you can crumple them up or feed them through a shredder to make sure that never happens. However, it can be very cathartic to come face to face with what you’re truly thinking and feeling.

Be kind to yourself. Just because other people have achieved things they’d long been putting off, maybe getting a little extra rest or having a long, hot soak in the tub is just what you need. (Know that if, day after day, you find it difficult to drag yourself out of bed or you find yourself binge-watching Netflix series you don’t even enjoy, it’s probably time to talk with someone. A family member. A good friend. A professional counsellor. Recognizing your need for outside help is another way of being kind to yourself.)

Look for opportunities to be kind to others. Meeting other’s needs, as you are able, has a way of filling your emotional tank. (Sometimes, it takes no more than a phone call to brighten someone’s day. Sometimes, it means preparing a meal for someone who is sick or running an errand for someone who is fearful about venturing out.)

Spend time with family and friends. You may think, “Spend time with family? As much as I love them, I need a break.” The increased hours you’ve spent with your spouse and children may be adding to your stress. But why not do something just for fun, something you all enjoy? And if you have family who live at a distance … (One of my sons and his wife live in Scotland; the other lives two provinces over.) If your situation is similar to mine, Skype, Zoom, and FaceTime may be among the only ways you can stay in touch. Work out a time that is doable for everyone involved and stay in touch. And when it comes to friends, many coffee shops and restaurants are open. But if that makes you uncomfortable or is beyond the budget, taking a walk in the park together or having a socially distanced BBQ outdoors can meet emotional needs you didn’t even know you had.

Create a gratitude journal. Even listing one thing each day you are grateful for can cause a mind shift. If you get into the habit of deliberately looking for the things you have to be thankful for, it will help you deal with all the negatives that bombard you day after day.

Don’t give up on the idea of making plans for 2021, but seek to create reasonable expectations of what you will be able to accomplish. Learn from the uncertainty of this past year and allow it to make you more adaptable. (I’m shifting from Dreamer to Doer, narrowing my focus, seeking to keep fewer plates spinning. Instead of grieving what I fear I’m giving up, I’m looking forward to working on some projects that will require perseverance for the long haul.)

And remember that none of this took God by surprise nor has His character changed. He is still loving, faithful, and trustworthy. You can rest secure in Him no matter what the future brings.

Steph Beth Nickel is an editor, author, and blogger. You can visit her website-in-progress, nurtureandinspire.com