I suppose some people might think that I'm an unlikely candidate as someone who could ever write a book. I'm here to say that they're wrong. I may not have a book published yet but I do have other pieces of my work in print.
A magazine article which shows beyond doubt that I have been published, an anthology documenting my father's sudden stroke and a letter of mine is in print between the pages of my good friend's first book. All of these I consider wonderful stepping stones to making my dream of writing a book become a reality.
Over the past few years I have been penning stories that reflect the different events I've experienced in my life. So you might wonder how the word, 'unlikely' even entered this story since the word is surrounded by an ugly shadow of skepticism. The answer is simple - there are times when I allow it to.
Of course like many other writers I am fearful of rejection. Life has shown me that not all people are encouragers. Not all people think I will succeed. Not all people are in my corner.
Words can be both good and bad. I've been on the receiving end of some of the most hurtful words, words that fell from the lips of people I trusted.
I was so frustrated when I was enrolled in a class with other fellow writer's - a critiquing class. I placed my stories into the hands of strangers and allowed them to offer their feedback. Even though it was a critiquing class I didn't realize just how harsh some people would be. I was totally naïve in thinking that all feedback would come as encouragement since we were all in the class with the same motive - to write a book.
But I was met with some pretty harsh words, two of which still have left a pang in my heart. "Who cares!" a classmate spewed out over a specific line in my story. These two words didn't offer me any wisdom on my strength or weakness as a writer.
Proverbs 15:4 "A tender answer turns away rage, but a prickly reply spikes anger." Quoted from The Voice - reader's bible
Of course I wanted to defend my story, instead I just stared at my classmate, not taking my eyes off of her for a second. In that moment I refused to show her how much those two little words had hurt me. Just because I was surrounded by others who had a love for writing didn't mean that we were speaking the same language.
After some discussion with other writer's, not in my class, I came to realize that critiquers will misunderstand, make wrong assumptions and miss the things that seem totally clear to me as the writer. It's the harsh reality of allowing my work to be seen by total strangers. Still, our words are the direct evidence of where our heart is at. I can only listen to what others have to say and then be willing to let it go.
What's important is what God has intended for me. Indeed, I have a passion for words even thought they have the potential to build a person up or tear them down.
My book consists of pages, pages filled with words that will one day be sewn together, bound between a cover that bears my name. My book will be finished when I am ready to let it go - let my words matter to someone who does care.
"God will meet you where you are in order to take you where He wants you to go." Quote from Tony Evans
Thank you for the words of wisdom. I am preparing to join a critique group. I pray I will be kind with words and actions and that other members will do the same. :-)
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your group, Melissa and thanks for taking the time to read my post. It truly was a learning experience for me.
DeleteI felt your pain as I read this post. I've been there, too, and even Christian critique can sometimes feel harsh and unfeeling. What I've come to understand, however, is that every bit of criticism - even unkind words - must be taken as opportunities for growth. When someone says, "Who cares?" then I look at the passage they were talking about and think , "How can I reword this so that they DO CARE?"
ReplyDeleteHi Vickie! I sensed the beat of your heart in this post. So real and honest with a measure of vulnerability. The following paragraph struck a chord in me, "Of course like many other writers I am fearful of rejection. Life has shown me that not all people are encouragers. Not all people think I will succeed. Not all people are in my corner." Well, I'm in your corner. We can learn together as we persevere and move forward in our writing. Perhaps my view on such critiquing is different than other people's. I know there will be people who don't care about our writing, no matter who we are. Rather than put my energy into having them care I will write for those who do care. Somewhere along the journey the don't care people will join the journey. It doesn't, however, put us off track. Keep writing Vickie. Keep puting the words in your head on to paper. It will be so exciting when you publish your book, "pages filled with words that will one day be sewn together, bound between a cover that bears my name" as you put it. I'll order it from you so I can have a signed copy. That will be super exciting! :)
DeleteThanks for your advice and encouraging words, Tracy and Alan. That is the goal - to keep on writing. I'm sure along the way there will be people who do care.
DeleteHi Vickie. Wow you expressed this so well. I think often it's not just the words of the person critiquing but the tone of voice or the look on their face that seals for us that they either did or didn't mean it in a well meaning way. I had an awful experience once too where a lady with a very mean glare accused me of hate in one of the stories that I shared. It's true that not everyone is in our corner. It's important to seek out the ones that are and then we can receive what they say and learn from it. I'd definitely read one of your books or anything that you write.
ReplyDeleteI was stunned by your story, which you wrote so well that I could feel the sting you must have felt, Vickie. A critique may be fine for experienced writers and within a writing group where the members know one another well, but it can be pretty harsh for someone who is new in the writing business or new in the group.
ReplyDeleteIn our satellite writing group, we look for something we like in the writing and share that. i.e. I took it as a compliment and an encouragement when someone said, "I'd like to read more about Ernie, who is my dad and a character in a memoir piece.
We can learn so much from one another, so we do offer suggestions to help the writer improve the piece she is sharing. My fellow writers have told me that my real story starts here. (And they point out the sentence that would be a good opener.) They've told me when I need to tighten up a certain paragraph and when my writing isn't clear. One of our writers used to slip into the passive voice and we'd let her know. I don't think anyone in our group has ever said, "Who cares!"
Please keep on writing, Vicki, because I, too, would like to read what your stories.