A breathing of my heart at 16 yrs old;
Hope
is not the closing of our eyes of risk, difficultly or failure. It is the trust
that if I fail now, I will not fail forever; that if I am hurt, I shall be
healed; that life is good and love is powerful; and I shall find myself, and
others, and God.
And
30 years later;
Friends
draw my eyes to the abundant skies. So often I fill my plate with a heap of
doing but what gives me more nutrition is a mountain of being. Friends keep me
centred on the journey, vividly colouring my skies daily. Friends are true
treasures and blessings from God!
And
six month ago;
Jesus, help me to love as
You call me to love and not to cause breaking of the unity of the oneness
You call us for. For I know my heart longs for that unity, that oneness is how
you made us. But my sinfulness, my un-forgiveness destroys that unity.
Help me to extend graciousness because You call me to, not for my own
expectations of what I think is 'right.' Help me be righteous as You call me to
be, not self-righteous which only breaks the unity. And continue to heal my
heart Lord as You are my healer and redeemer. Amen
And today;
Even in the dryness of this
place, separated from the crowd, where words do not form but instead, I feel
only the rising of my chest with each breath and the beats of my heart with
each step. Even in this solitary place
You have led me, where pleasures do not form, where human comfort does not
exist, where I can’t find You in the song, in the worship, and can only sit in
church and cry. Even in this silent place, I know that life is good and love is
powerful; that You are refining me, correcting me, leading me to living Waters. And I keep my eyes open in hope of You
turning this desert into a fruitful garden. Even in this place, I breathe in; I look up to the abundant sky. And my heart beats.
Thank you Lynn for sharing these breaths of heart ... breaths that can delight and those that leave us gasping for air. As we declare that He is still with us, "even in this silent place," we can trust that the breathing will not always be desert. I love the line to "look up to the abundant sky. And my heart beats."
ReplyDeleteYour words at 16 were very deep for one so young. Today your 'breathings' are raw and real. Thanks you for sharing this insightful and beautiful post. Your willingness to be vulnerable makes the post even more powerful
ReplyDeleteLynn, I have reread your post a few times, and feel the underlying rawness, and commitment to declaring your faith in God, because He is faithful. I sense a powerful underlying story. Blessings
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet experience to read your words, Lynn. The imagery is beautiful and what a poet's heart you have. I hope you DO keep writing of your personal experiences, the world needs these messages!
ReplyDelete