Touched by Grief, Held by Hope by Alan Anderson

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12 ESV).

I have always had an affinity for people who suffer. Coming alongside hurting people for so long reflects my childhood. For reasons, I won’t reveal here, there was a lot of “tribulation” in my early life.

As a boy my concept of God was one of judgment and thunderous volcanic explosions. I expressed prayer to God out of fear. My prayers began with lines like, “God, I’ll be good…” or “God, I don’t know if you care about me but…” That is how I lived my childhood. I was a timid boy, and perhaps my timidity encouraged my fear. I remember thinking many times I wished I could be a grown up.

When I was a boy in Scotland I discovered writing. Writing saved me. My love for writing didn’t come out of the blue. In my InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015, I wrote about a schoolteacher I remember and love to this day. Her name was Miss Gordon. Here is an excerpt of the post.

From being with Miss Gordon several times during lunch or after school I learned I loved to write. The writing was how I spoke into the world and I expressed my feelings. Miss Gordon and her care for me somehow unleashed my writing.–(InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015)

Miss Gordon helped me know there was hope for me. She encouraged me. Miss Gordon allowed me to be me. This was freedom. This wonderful and caring woman, who had no children of her own, let me know I mattered. I have never forgotten her. God used Miss Gordon to introduce me to hope. She was my hope.

Tribulation can be overcome and endured. For instance, God’s people have endured suffering or tribulations for centuries. We are people of hope.

Tribulation, suffering, grief, pain, etc. have always made their presence known in life. When experiencing tribulation my patience may be hesitant at first. I can never, however, discount the might, the power, or the tender loving care of hope. Hope in spite of tribulation has helped me mature in life and faith.

My writing has also matured. I know I am not a well-known writer and that’s okay. I no longer hide my writing and this is a big step for me. I’m still an introvert and not the most outgoing person yet can socialize with people and enjoy them. This is also a big step.

 

I have a tagline I use for my writing and workshops. I think I’ve shared this in another blog post but can’t remember when. My tagline is “Touched by grief, held by hope.” Over several decades now, I have come alongside people acquainted with grief. They are my people and audience. Hope bonds and holds us together.

Tribulation does not rule over me. Without tribulation or grief or sorrowful experiences, I would not know the depth of hope God promises. Devoid of hardships, the love of God would be foreign to me.

This is how I sum up my life. As a young boy, I trembled and hid. As a man, I am scarred yet continue to hope. I know I am loved.

https://scarredjoy.ca/

 

God Speaks Through Special Needs

“Long ago God spoke in many different ways to our fathers through the prophets, in visions, dreams, and even face to face, telling them little by little about his plans.” (Hebrews 1:1, TLB)

The prompt for our June post is a timely one for me. I am going to go as far as to say through this prompt God has spoken to me. A few days ago I was reviewing my blog, Scarred Joy, and decided to refocus it. The only thing is, I wasn’t sure what this refocus would be. I knew whatever direction the blog was to take it would retain my tagline of “touched by grief, held by hope.” The blog would still not shy away from the painful side of life.

Over the past few years my family has undergone life changing and significant experiences. This includes the death of my parents and my wife’s mother, the passing of five grandbabies due to pregnancy loss and the birth of six more grandchildren including two labeled by society as “special needs.”

My daughter and her husband have three children and the two children termed, “special needs” are part of their family. The lives of “special needs” families have a soft spot in my heart. Families with children who are perhaps not considered “typical,” face lifestyles that also are not typical. They are those who walk through life often misunderstood and not always welcomed by the typical world.

As grandparents my wife and I are part of the special needs world of our daughter and son in law. We have set ourselves apart, so to speak, from the typical world of grandparents. We have our times of grief and tears, yet the joy our “special needs” grandchildren hug us with is a gift beyond words. Such gifts remind us of God’s love. He sees beyond our “special needs” and loves us still.

 

The world special needs families live in is an emotional and multi-faceted one. The emotions are raw at times. This is the rawness the typical world of families is most often unaware. Day to day living for many special needs families may unexpectedly change. Plans may have to be altered as caring for a child takes precedence due to some unforeseen emergency.

As I write this blog post, my plan for my Scarred Joy blog is to include stories etc. of families and individuals who live with “special needs.” We may often think of “special needs” as primarily referring to children and other people living with such challenges as autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, etc. A family having experienced the death of a child may also be considered as having special needs.

In using the term “special needs” I am cognizant it applies to people at any age or circumstance. A woman, who is now a widow or a man grieving the death of his wife, may have special needs. I also think of such things as people with acquired injuries or a terminal cancer resigning them to live with a special need.

Since becoming a grandfather a number of years ago I have taken on a greater love and view of life.  Far from being perfect and whole, life is fragile and in a sense enigmatic. As I look through my grandfather filter I see not all of life is black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. Life just is and it includes mystery!

I especially dedicate the Scarred Joy blog to grandparents who may be all too familiar with special needs. I believe grandparents have a unique bond and role to live out if they are part of family where special needs are “normal.”

https://scarredjoy.ca/

Writing Is Like A Puppy by Alan Anderson

I love dogs. I love holding a puppy and even smelling puppy breath. My writing is like a puppy. You ask, “What do you mean?” That’s a good question. Here is why I liken my writing to a puppy.

As a dog lover it is wonderful to see a puppy grow into a healthy mature adult dog. It’s fun to watch puppies gain their confidence in walking and running. They also have little “accidents” as they are growing up. You may know what I mean.

I’m still growing as a writer. Like a growing pup I can have a writer’s “accidents.” These are things like too many “ly” or using “ing” words too often in my writing.

A puppy need not be a pure bred for me to love it. The sweetest dog I ever had in my life was a Border Collie Spaniel cross. She was one of my best friends. She had the personality of a working dog as well as a companion dog. She would embrace life with gusto during the day and snuggle on my easy chair with me in the evening.

I don’t worry about my writing being a pure bred either. What I mean is, I don’t class myself as a fiction or non-fiction writer, I just write. I love to write about real life that may appear dark or somber with a gleam of hope ahead. That is what my blog Scarred Joy is all about. Scarred joy is like my working dog writing so to speak.

I also love to write stories based on real life experiences. Right now I’m working on a story of a young boy with a rare illness. In addition I have another story of a boy and his grandfather. It is about their relationship as grandfather lives in the fog of Alzheimer’s disease. I want to write this story as one suitable for children. Both these stories may be like a companion dog writing.

It’s fun to play with a puppy and see her or him run after a ball and catch it. One of the dogs I loved became skilled at catching Frisbees. As she became older she had more injuries and we had to stop playing Frisbee. My pup had grown old. She lived a long life for a dog. I was with her during all the chapters of her life right to the final sentence.

If God grants me more years and to experience old age here is what I hope and pray for. If the day comes I can no longer hold a pen I pray I can look back on words I have written and know they brought comfort to broken hearts.

I also pray I will have crossed the paths of other writers and played with them. In other words, I like to have a writing buddy. I like to know other writers. My present writing buddy and I have never met in person. We exchange emails and send each other pieces of our writing to critique. It is a lot of fun. My writing buddy is precious to me.

When my days are done I pray my writing will have matured and been noticed by those who hurt yet see hope ahead. Just like an old faithful dog I pray I will have made a difference in the lives of people. That’s what a good dog does.

Blog: scarredjoy.wordpress.com

Lenten Reflections of a Broken Wanderer by Alan Anderson

This post is shorter than my other posts but I hope you find it meaningful.

During the first week of March I began a series on grief for a local wellness business. I entitled the first presentation, Grief: The Calling of Wounded Healers. I first read the term “wounded healer,” in a book by the same name written by Henri Nouwen. Wounded healers are people who are acquainted with personal grief and recognize pain or brokenness as part of their life journey. Wounded healers are aware of the scars of their own grief.

I am a wounded healer. I am more than aware of my personal brokenness. I bear the scars of my own woundedness. At times they still sting. Life can indeed bruise a person.

As a wounded healer I am drawn to the significance of the Lenten season and in it find deep meaning and true healing. Lent is about the One bruised for my iniquities. Lent is about the One who heals us.

“But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

I am also a "broken wanderer." My wife and I believe we are coming to the end of a spiritual journey we have been on for a few years. It has led us, by God’s grace, to embracing the beliefs of Eastern Orthodox Christianity. To eastern Orthodoxy the church body is more like a hospital than anything else. We can come as wounded healers and receive healing for our souls. We love the fellowship of the people of the church we are joining. We are also more aware of the healing found in God.

Our wilderness wandering is over. We are home. This journey includes experiencing Lent like never before. In an article I read in preparation for this post the author says,

“For Orthodox, the Lenten period is a time characterized by "joyful sorrow" or "bright sadness." The constant contemplation of Christ's crucifixion, along with the self -denial and struggle is overshadowed by the certainty of His coming Resurrection” (Evagelos Sotiropoulos,Clean Monday, 2016).

Dear readers, I have no idea if any of you relate to being a wounded healer or a broken wanderer. Perhaps you resonate more with being a wounded healer. Whatever the case, please know your journey will lead you to the Resurrection. Healing will come. Your wandering will come to an end and rest will be found. The best is yet to come.

“I look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come” (The Creed of Nicea and Constantinople).

Amen!

Blog: ScarredJoy.wordpress.com

Loving Acceptance of Unfinished Projects

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6.

I have been spending some time contemplating the questions of the writing prompt for this month. I have read the posts of our writer friends who have written about “unfinished projects.” I appreciate their take on things so much.

I like Brenda Leyland’s, view that “A half-done project is much like starting a race and then dropping out before you get to the finish line…” This is what came to my mind after reading Brenda’s comment. What if a project is not even half-done and has only made it to a quarter-done? All the words get excited that they are coming together then the brakes are applied. Things come to a halt and the words are like, “huh, what happened? How come we stopped?” Perhaps, even sadder, is when a project is maybe three-quarters on the way and runs out of steam. The poor words can almost see  the final chapter. They all now sit waiting for the writer, yes you or me, to carry on to finish.

My friends, here is my take on our unfinished projects. The poor babies! Oh my, how sad these projects must be being cast aside for another season! I understand too they may be just waiting with eager anticipation to get going again. There is hope my friends!

One of the questions the writing prompt asks is, Do you struggle with unfinished projects? Nope, I don’t struggle with it! I accept it. I accept that perhaps it isn’t time for these particular little beauties I have done some work on. I accept that this story or poem is maturing within my creative mind. It just isn’t ready yet. That is so freeing!

Another question from the writing prompt is, Do you wish to resurrect unfinished stories or blog posts and breathe new life into them? The thing is my “unfinished” projects are not dead or even comatose so I don’t have to resurrect them. No, my stories are just chillin! They are patient with me and I am patient with them. Their day will come!

How do you stay on task until your project is completed? That is a good question. Once I set my mind to get back to a project I block out a time frame and go at it. I still work to make a living and am involved in a full life. With this in mind I block out a couple hours or so on Fri. and Sat. This is my answer and I’m sticking to it!

How is God prompting you to finish the unfinished? Right now God is prompting me to work more on my next book project. It is one that has been percolating for a while. The project started out as Facebook posts. The story and I are getting reacquainted. I trust that when I retire from my profession I will have more time to write. My projects that are chillin out right now will be so happy to work together.

This all reminds me of God’s promise to me. He has begun a good work in me and by His grace I will be completed. In some small way I am also confident that my stories will be complete. While not as important as my relationship with God I love my relationship with my stories. I love my stories including my “unfinished projects.”

PS: I couldn't resist sharing a photograph of me and a recent finished project. I was was honoured to be asked to contribute to a book called Good Grief People. Thank you Barb, Glynis, Donna, Ruth, Carolyn and Amanda!

Blog: ScarredJoy@wordpress.com