The Story Behind the Story by Alan Anderson

I was honoured in early 2017 to have four of my stories published in the book “Good Grief People.” It was such a thrill to write this anthology on grief with Carolyn Wilker, Barbara Heagy, Ruth Smith Meyer, Glynis M. Belec and Donna Mann.

The story behind the story I will highlight here is “You Can Go Now, Sweetie.” In short it is a love story of a married couple over the years. The story was my way of saluting some special people in my life.

The special people I am referring to are those I call “my teachers.” I have mentioned them before on a post or two. Through my years of coming alongside people in situations of grief, serious illness and death and dying experiences, I came to love this area of work. It was one of the biggest honours of my life.

In my contribution to Good Grief People I wanted to pay homage to the people I met who trusted me with their experiences. Most were experiences of suffering that became part of their lives. Often times my teachers were people who experienced the death of their spouse.

In “You Can Go Now, Sweetie,” I capture some of the healthy emotional attachment long married couples have for each other. The couple in the story showed that love need not wane in one’s older years. It becomes stronger even in the face of terminal illness. This couple was not unique from my perception in regards to the strength of true love. Many couples I have ministered to or served had an abiding love for each other.

Not all of my teachers consisted of married couples. They were also people who never married or people who had been without a spouse for decades. My teachers were people who knew and lived with the pain of the death of a child. They were people suffering from a mental illness who heard voices in their heads that would not be quiet. My teachers were those who grieved the murder of a sibling due to hanging out with the wrong crowd.

I have come away with part of them all. I have their stories in my heart. As they have taught me I am humbled by the strength of human tenacity and the ability to move forward in life. They were not defined by their experience of suffering. They lived life with their physical or emotional scars intact yet determined now to live one day at a time.

Many of my teachers have died. There time came. If you, dear reader, have people you regard as your "teachers," I would suggest you love them while you can. Hold them close. Listen to their words. Cherish your memories with them for all too soon they pass from the scene.

I have reached a time where I am honoured some people consider me to be their "teacher." I never take this or these precious people for granted. We are in this life together and can help each other along the way.

My final day of work in healthcare was one I will always remember. The leadership team I worked with hosted a retirement gathering for me. A number of staff including my boss attended. Even more special was the fact they invited some of the residents of the care home. They were some of my teachers. When the gathering was almost over and I was getting ready to leave my teachers hugged me. I knew I had touched their lives and they had touched mine. I didn’t need anything else.

Blog: scarredjoy.wordpress.com

A Hope To Yet Realize by Alan Anderson

“Okay you abcs keep the noise down. I’m trying to write my blog post for our InScribe blog.” Oops, sorry reader friends, I was using my inside voice talking to the words in my head who are eager to get out. The little rascals can get a bit over rambunctious.

The writing prompt for this month asks writers to “Tell us about your first book.” My first book hasn’t been published yet. I guess I could end this post right there but readers may want to know more. Well, ok, since you asked I’ll say more.

Like I said my first book hasn’t been published yet. Did you catch it? I used the word “yet” at the end of the previous sentence. It is indeed a hope to have my first book published as a sole author. Did you notice my tricky use of wording in that last sentence? Okay, I’ll explain.

I had the honour of having four stories published last year in a book I co-authored called Good Grief People (Angel Hope Publishing). I mean it was an amazing experience to have wordy babies of mine sent into the world. It has motivated me even more to persevere in having a book, short stories and articles published.

When I was a healthcare chaplain I remember sitting by the bedside of an elderly woman. During a visit she told me about her life (I’ve heard a lot of life stories from people) including her love of writing. When she informed me she was a writer I became even more excited about her story. In a matter of fact way she said, “I used to love to write but now the words in my head are all muddled. I can’t put them together anymore.”

After hearing those sobering words I realized I must keep on writing. My calling to write is sweet and I love it as much as breathing. My dear writing friends I hope you agree with me. Perhaps you say with me, “I must write!”

I write for a particular audience. They are those who feel hard pressed by the burdens they struggle with in life. They are those screaming at God for the unfairness that has violated their lives. I write for those who grieve everyday that their children have been robbed of life. I write for those trying to make their way through the tunnel of depression. They deserve a voice to encouraging them to know they are not alone.

Without trying to sound melodramatic or heroic, I am one of their voices. I am acquainted with grief over the loss of children. I know the darkness of the tunnel. I know that God loves us even when we believe we are lost and without hope.

Hope without cleaning up the muck of life is what I write. That’s what my blog, Scarred Joy, for instance, is all about. That is what the voices of the words in my head and heart are all about. They are the stories often not heard in this crazy world and society we are part of.

My writing as I persevere may not be the most endearing to people. On the other hand, I know some will resonate with such a voice. It is for those I have mentioned that my hope to be published again will be realized.

Blog: scarredjoy.wordpress.com

Loving Acceptance of Unfinished Projects

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6.

I have been spending some time contemplating the questions of the writing prompt for this month. I have read the posts of our writer friends who have written about “unfinished projects.” I appreciate their take on things so much.

I like Brenda Leyland’s, view that “A half-done project is much like starting a race and then dropping out before you get to the finish line…” This is what came to my mind after reading Brenda’s comment. What if a project is not even half-done and has only made it to a quarter-done? All the words get excited that they are coming together then the brakes are applied. Things come to a halt and the words are like, “huh, what happened? How come we stopped?” Perhaps, even sadder, is when a project is maybe three-quarters on the way and runs out of steam. The poor words can almost see  the final chapter. They all now sit waiting for the writer, yes you or me, to carry on to finish.

My friends, here is my take on our unfinished projects. The poor babies! Oh my, how sad these projects must be being cast aside for another season! I understand too they may be just waiting with eager anticipation to get going again. There is hope my friends!

One of the questions the writing prompt asks is, Do you struggle with unfinished projects? Nope, I don’t struggle with it! I accept it. I accept that perhaps it isn’t time for these particular little beauties I have done some work on. I accept that this story or poem is maturing within my creative mind. It just isn’t ready yet. That is so freeing!

Another question from the writing prompt is, Do you wish to resurrect unfinished stories or blog posts and breathe new life into them? The thing is my “unfinished” projects are not dead or even comatose so I don’t have to resurrect them. No, my stories are just chillin! They are patient with me and I am patient with them. Their day will come!

How do you stay on task until your project is completed? That is a good question. Once I set my mind to get back to a project I block out a time frame and go at it. I still work to make a living and am involved in a full life. With this in mind I block out a couple hours or so on Fri. and Sat. This is my answer and I’m sticking to it!

How is God prompting you to finish the unfinished? Right now God is prompting me to work more on my next book project. It is one that has been percolating for a while. The project started out as Facebook posts. The story and I are getting reacquainted. I trust that when I retire from my profession I will have more time to write. My projects that are chillin out right now will be so happy to work together.

This all reminds me of God’s promise to me. He has begun a good work in me and by His grace I will be completed. In some small way I am also confident that my stories will be complete. While not as important as my relationship with God I love my relationship with my stories. I love my stories including my “unfinished projects.”

PS: I couldn't resist sharing a photograph of me and a recent finished project. I was was honoured to be asked to contribute to a book called Good Grief People. Thank you Barb, Glynis, Donna, Ruth, Carolyn and Amanda!

Blog: ScarredJoy@wordpress.com