To My Younger Self by Alan Anderson

 

I don’t have an abundance of fond memories of my childhood. Years would crawl by before I realized God was not a Great Tormentor in the sky. My imagination allowed me to create adventures to escape and run away from certain moments in life. Glory to God, I came to be aware of the gift and beauty of life, including my life.


Dear Alan,

Your early years in Scotland revealed your shyness, self-doubt, and a desire to escape those with loud voices. In time you would learn to use your imagination through writing to turn away your fears. You also turned to people who helped shape the man you would become.

Standout Memories

Do you remember when you were seven or eight years old, there was an upset at home, and you wanted to run away? You ran out of the house, not knowing where you would run to, then realized something else. The weather was stormy, and thunderclaps scared you. You thought the thunder was God being angry with you for running away.

When you finally went back home, no one realized you had left. Your family thought you had just gone outside for a while. This caused you to think you did not matter. Mum, however, did notice and consoled you as only she could.

Remember the old man from our neighbourhood who took his own life. His death was too much for you to process. When you asked Mum why he did such a thing, she said amid her own sadness that, “he was lonely.” You will never forget her sorrowful words nor the old man’s death. As you grow in years and mature in life, the old man will be your role model for people who suffer. Mum will be your role model for compassion.

Another impactful memory is your unending love for a teacher named Miss Gordon. Miss Gordon let you know you mattered, and she took the time to encourage you in your schooling. You will write about her when you get older to let people know of her beautiful compassion. 

https://inscribewritersonline.blogspot.com/2015/09/miss-gordon-oh-how-i-loved-you-by-alan.html

A delightful memory planted forever in your soul is of you and one of your brothers wandering in a field near the Grampian Mountains in Scotland. You walked through a field covered with purple heather and fragrant flowers. This gave you such pleasure and a time for you to rest your mind from your inner turmoil. You saw and felt God’s creation and realized His love. This allowed you to breathe in a calmness you had never found before.

Words of encouragement as you grow older

As years go by and you become a man, your love of quiet places will be one of your strengths. You will never lose your practice of embracing nature, God’s creation. As you get older, you will continue to thank God when the trees you walk by seem to embrace you. You will also love solitude and places that allow you to sit in peace and write.

As decades go by, you will develop your writer’s voice. Write well and often, even when health challenges settle on you as you reach your older years. Never compromise your voice for the sake of popularity or wealth as the world sees it. Remember Mum, Miss Gordon, and the old man, for they were the seeds of your writing and compassionate words.

Keep in mind the heart and actions of the Lord Jesus:

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36 NIV)

Alan, for as long as you can show this compassion in how you live and through the words you write.

 

Alan lives in a small village called Deroche, British Columbia, with his wife, Terry, and their poodle, Charlie. He enjoys walking on the dike near his home, with trees all around and where he finds inspiration to write. He has occasionally written articles for FellowScript Magazine and is a regular contributor to the InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship blog. Alan’s website and blog is https://scarredjoy.ca. He has also begun to write on Substack.

Touched by Grief, Held by Hope by Alan Anderson

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12 ESV).

I have always had an affinity for people who suffer. Coming alongside hurting people for so long reflects my childhood. For reasons, I won’t reveal here, there was a lot of “tribulation” in my early life.

As a boy my concept of God was one of judgment and thunderous volcanic explosions. I expressed prayer to God out of fear. My prayers began with lines like, “God, I’ll be good…” or “God, I don’t know if you care about me but…” That is how I lived my childhood. I was a timid boy, and perhaps my timidity encouraged my fear. I remember thinking many times I wished I could be a grown up.

When I was a boy in Scotland I discovered writing. Writing saved me. My love for writing didn’t come out of the blue. In my InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015, I wrote about a schoolteacher I remember and love to this day. Her name was Miss Gordon. Here is an excerpt of the post.

From being with Miss Gordon several times during lunch or after school I learned I loved to write. The writing was how I spoke into the world and I expressed my feelings. Miss Gordon and her care for me somehow unleashed my writing.–(InScribe blog post of Sept. 22, 2015)

Miss Gordon helped me know there was hope for me. She encouraged me. Miss Gordon allowed me to be me. This was freedom. This wonderful and caring woman, who had no children of her own, let me know I mattered. I have never forgotten her. God used Miss Gordon to introduce me to hope. She was my hope.

Tribulation can be overcome and endured. For instance, God’s people have endured suffering or tribulations for centuries. We are people of hope.

Tribulation, suffering, grief, pain, etc. have always made their presence known in life. When experiencing tribulation my patience may be hesitant at first. I can never, however, discount the might, the power, or the tender loving care of hope. Hope in spite of tribulation has helped me mature in life and faith.

My writing has also matured. I know I am not a well-known writer and that’s okay. I no longer hide my writing and this is a big step for me. I’m still an introvert and not the most outgoing person yet can socialize with people and enjoy them. This is also a big step.

 

I have a tagline I use for my writing and workshops. I think I’ve shared this in another blog post but can’t remember when. My tagline is “Touched by grief, held by hope.” Over several decades now, I have come alongside people acquainted with grief. They are my people and audience. Hope bonds and holds us together.

Tribulation does not rule over me. Without tribulation or grief or sorrowful experiences, I would not know the depth of hope God promises. Devoid of hardships, the love of God would be foreign to me.

This is how I sum up my life. As a young boy, I trembled and hid. As a man, I am scarred yet continue to hope. I know I am loved.

https://scarredjoy.ca/