D is for Defying Doubt by Lorilee Guenter

 

There is a dictionary full of words to choose for this month. I thought about reading through the entries to find something to anchor this reflection on, because I didn’t want to write about doubt. I recognised some irony in the search since I was letting doubt guide a path away from the one word that kept surfacing among the many options.

Doubt creeps into my writing journey in many ways. Some are obvious. Those are the easiest to catch and face. Others are much more subtle. All could contribute to the so-called impostor syndrome.

The most obvious voice of doubt screams, “You are not a writer.” The primary response is to pick up my pen and write anyway. As the ink makes readable marks on the page, I silence the lie. Even if no one reads what I have committed to paper, I have shown that I am a writer in the most basic sense of the word.

“But no one will want to read what I write.” Another lie born out of doubt. True, there will be people who don’t want to read my work. We all have different preferences regarding style and content we like to read. That does not prove that nobody wants to read it. It is not my job to decide who does and does not want to read it. My job is to express the ideas I have been given. Even if only one person, me, reads the writing, it is enough because, through the act of writing, I am able to clarify my thoughts.

Then there are smaller doubts that arise while writing or, more specifically, during revising and editing. The doubt is about clarity. This doubt can be a tool used to strengthen our writing if we don’t let it paralyse us. The dictionary and thesaurus might help here as we search for that word that brings an image to life. Conversely, it can paralyse if we let that hint of doubt keep us from picking a word, or creating a phrase. The perfect choice does not exist because each reader brings their own experience to the page. Those experiences inform the connotations the reader interprets language with.

As I walk through my writing journey, I must learn to recognise the doubt that paralyses and turn it over to God. By entrusting my writing to the Holy Spirit, faith replaces doubt. My writing becomes an offering. My responsibility is to be faithful to use the gifts I have been given instead of hiding them due to doubt. God’s responsibility is to take the offering and use it where, when, and how He wants.

I do not know what doubt I will face tomorrow. It is my hope and prayer that I will recognise it and continue in faith anyway.