“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”--Ephesians 5:31.
I pondered the writing prompts
for this month for days to prepare for the post. My life is blessed with many
defining moments. Each is a story, an unfolding of chapters in my life. For
this post I decided to write on one defining moment.
My Marriage
Next to my life as a
Christian, marriage is my greatest defining moment. Marriage, the most intimate
relationship between a woman and a man. A precious life shared by two people
who cannot live without each other. This is how I see my marriage.
Years ago, when I was a young
pastor, our church membership included several older married couples. I often
watched them interact with each other. I viewed them like models of the
evergreen trees I see every day and throughout the years.
My wife Terry and I live close
to mountains and farms. Evergreen trees clothe the mountains which shelter the
animals and birds native to the area. They encounter storms which seek to tear
them apart. They endure pounding rain, freezing temperatures of winter, and
scorching heat of summer. Through all this, the evergreens stand against the
elements like fierce warriors.
The married couples I
mentioned earlier were like these evergreen trees. As my relationship with
these older couples matured, their stories taught me to stand firm in
commitment to my marriage. Terry and I faced challenges through the years, and
our marriage is stronger. In May 2022 we look forward to celebrating our
forty-fourth wedding anniversary, Lord willing.
Marriage brings times of dance
and romance. Believe me, I am not a model of a dancer. When
certain music comes on, the wannabe dancer in me comes to life. I will grab
Terry’s hand and show her my dance moves. For whatever reason, this always
gives her reason to giggle. Perhaps this is a time for her to giggle at my
wiggle.
Romance isn’t only for the
young. Now I am older, I still see a need to perfect how I romance my wife.
Romance, perhaps aside from the more physical intimacy, can be expressed in
other ways. When I cook Terry a special meal, I invite her to sit back and
enjoy the time. I still open doors for her and pull her chair out for her when
we go to a restaurant for dinner (although this doesn’t happen often during the
pandemic.) A favourite name I use for her is, “my darling.” Sometimes I look at
her without her knowledge and think, “Wow, I am a blessed man!”
Marriage brings times of hugs
and tears. Terry and I have both mourned the death of our parents. We
also shed tears when five of our grandchildren went to heaven before they
reached birth. We are adult orphans and grandparents who grieve.
We cherish our life together
through the times of dance and romance and the hugs and tears. Hugs and their
closeness bring smiles in the times of laughter, tears, and the between times.
Believe me, I am a big hugger.
Marriage embraces me like a
warm, intimate hug without end. Marriage also absorbs into my skin and covers
me with my wife, my children, my grandchildren, and memories of those loved.
Alan lives in Deroche, B.C.
with his wife, Terry. He contributed stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope
Publishing, 2017; Story by Story: The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers
Publishing, 2018. Alan has also written articles for FellowScript Magazine.
Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca.
Alan has written blog posts for our InScribe blog since 2015.
Alan, I smiled all the way through this post. Thank you for these lovely words about your marriage. You and Terry are evergreens and a warm hug to each of us this cold November morning.
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to bless you & Terry with many more years of dancing under the light of His love.
(Wonderful pictures of you two.)
Hi Wendy. I'm happy you smiled as you read the post. I can't ask for a better response. Yes, we reached the evergreen stage in our marriage. We look forward to many more years together, my friend.
DeleteAlan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for this beautiful portrayal of a healthy god-honouring marriage. You have joined the ranks of those evergreen couples you used to watch. I wish you and Terry many more wonderful memories together.
Hi Ruth! Thank you for the encouragement. I can't believe our 44th anniversary is in a few months.
DeleteAlan, a beautiful post. Like you, I treasure my marriage to Jim. We have experienced highs and lows, but faced them together and came out more united and stronger. I love your picture of the evergreens, enduring like fierce warriors. This was my favourite line: "Marriage also absorbs into my skin and covers me with my wife, my children, my grandchildren, and memories of those loved." Amen!
ReplyDeleteHi Joy! I love to know you treasure your marriage to Joe. Even in this divisive culture we live in we can stand strong in our love. God's blessings on you as a couple as your evergreen marriage stands the test of time, my friend.
DeleteI want to giggle at the joy I find in your post, Alan! A great picture of the evergreens... as Ruth already mentioned, now you are one of those evergreen couples modeling the way for a new generation. How beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHi Brenda! I'm smiling as you see the joy in my words. Marriage is a great way to live. God knew what He was doing when He joined husband and wife together. :)
DeleteI really loved reading your post, Alan. it is so wonderful to hear men who are not ashamed to talk about their emotions and their love for their spouses. I am blessed to live with a husband who is a lot like you, I suspect. He is definitely the more "romantic' one between the two of us. Sometimes I need to remember to be more grateful for someone who cherishes me the way you cherish Terry. As Ruth said in her comment, it is so good to see an example of what a God centred marriage (and romance) should be.
ReplyDeleteHi Tracy! I imagine you children see the love you and your husband share with each other. I'm sure he loves life even more because he is married to you.
DeleteWhat an uplifting post, Alan! You are both so blessed to be married to each other, and to be enjoying the "evergreen years". I pray that God will continue to give you many more happy years.
ReplyDeleteHi Valerie! Yes, we are indeed blessed as a couple. We also look forward to many more healthy years together.
DeleteThank you, Alan. Your post was a joy to read. A journey shared, - all the hills and valleys - with someone you love, is a life well lived and a blessing indeed. A gift. Thanks for sharing this heart filling snapshot.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon! Thank you for taking time to comment here. Yes, our journey has endured "hills and valleys," yet we are together. The journey is worth every second.
DeleteThank you, Alan. Your post was a joy to read. A journey shared, - all the hills and valleys - with someone you love, is a life well lived and a blessing indeed. A gift. Thanks for sharing this heart filling snapshot.
ReplyDeleteNice post, Alan. Christians need to see role models like you and your darling.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bruce! I appreciate your encouragement, my friend. :)
DeleteHow I rejoice with you and Terry. My first husband and I were just at the verge of the evergreen stage when he died of cancer after 39 years of marriage. I still feel the love we shared and it still gives me strength and courage to go on. So be blessed, dear friend.
DeleteHi Ruth! Thank you my dear friend, Ruth, for sharing this personal thought. Your words affirm the all surpassing power of love.
DeleteThanks, Alan, for a beautiful tribute to your marriage and your beautiful wife. How wonderful that you can cherish your marriage, "like a warm, intimate hug without end." What a role model you are!!
ReplyDeleteHi Sandi! Yes, I cherish my wife and marriage beyond measure. Terry makes it easy to enjoy our lives together. I have never been called a role model before. Thank you, my friend! :)
Delete