The Dwelling Place - Martina Keast

 For the purpose of the book, The Dwelling Place: Reflections on my Journey toward Spiritual Wholeness, a dwelling place is any place where one sets aside time to meet with God. It is helpful to have a Bible on hand, a journal and a pen, a songbook, worship music, and some creative supplies if you are crafty. A dwelling place can be found at a retreat centre with others around, anywhere in solitude, or it can be at home while going for a walk or even a bike ride. I share some of these experiences in the book, but here for this blog post, let's look at a particular defining dwelling place that opens us to God.

I found myself in a dwelling place not of my own choosing when I asked God with an intense desire to deeper my relationship with Him. I discovered when God gets involved in response to this kind of request, He sets up people, places, and things to help bring about defining moments evoking life changes. William M. Kinnaird says it this way, 

. . . a time of deep travail when all seems hopeless and useless when the spirit is broken and to go on seems pointless, too excruciating. We want to give up and die, even by our hands. God's so-called presence and promises are of no help. We’re too numbed and devastated to be encouraged by them. (Kinnaird, 1994)

I have been to this place. It seems there is no point in calling out to God. The pain is excruciating. He seems to have disappeared; nothing but an empty tunnel remains. God sets the schedule and the timeline to remove any barriers or veils which shut down all communication. Gerald May offers up this definition, 

The dark night process eases the restraints our attachments place on us, enabling us to live more fully and lovingly. It deepens our trust in God’s presence and the essential goodness of life and ourselves. It leaves us emptier knowing less and having less than when we first started – and this emptiness makes us freer than we would ever have dared to expect. (May 2004, pp. 103-103)

I’ve been to this place; I am in this place again as I type. I can honestly say this painful process brings about defining moments of change. Idols are released, and one experiences a deeper appreciation and connection with Jesus. This connection is not dependent on the sermon the preacher preached, the prophecy the prophet proclaimed, or other well-meaning people offered to set me straight. There have been a few. I can hear their voices and see their pointing fingers.

This experience is like an internal revolution that takes time to adjust to. It's like being born again and again, but at a deeper heart/spirit level. 

This time around, I am not screaming at God, asking Him, "Where are You? Why are You hiding from me? What have I done to offend You? God, please come back." 

This time, I feel the pain and accept that He is moulding and shaping me, removing even more idols from my heart and mind. I accept His way of teaching me is best. When this lesson is over, I will be ever more transformed. 

The Dark Night of the Soul and the Dark Night of the Spirit are two places where God sets us up for profound inner freedom from attachments of people, places, and things. For this blog entry, I include Reflections and Art on Suffering.

Immense suffering, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Spiritually, it feels as if God left. He is no longer interested in me.

Even He has given up hope. 

He must be there somewhere, but I cannot see Him. 

I can’t see beyond the pitch-black darkness. 

Alone, abandoned, even by God.

When God opens my eyes again, removing the barriers and the veil, 

Looking toward heaven, even for a moment, brings me freedom from the darkness, 

I can see the birds flying, clouds moving, and there is light and hope. 

Outside and beyond the dark tunnel, there is life. 

Now, even the tunnel itself is not so dark as the light gets in it, 

When I lift up my head and experience a different outlook on life.

The journey toward spiritual wholeness is painful.

Looking through the tunnel, after intense suffering, defining moments of hope and freedom await.

Occasionally there are moments of defining beauty, 

Experiences with serenity, 

A “knowing” that if I can only trust and continue this journey. 

All will be well in the end. 

As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after thee,’ 

This song rises up from within. 

A very defining moment experiencing the closeness of the Holy Spirit’s presence is occurring.

This journey with art, while facing defining and freeing moments, continues to be a blessing. 

I find hope in the truth of the expressions because 

the presence of the Holy Spirit becomes evident to me. 

The above-shown art pieces reflect a painful yet surprising process. The person is engulfed by pain and suffering; it feels like they are burning up, inside and out, while in anguish and piercing travail. The focus is on the pain and sense of woe. 

Once the tunnel is entered, the person experiences the intensity of the battle. 

She can’t see anything else for the longest time, but then, it happens. New light, life and liberty show up, maybe in the form of sunshine, water, and a deer. A song of worship may come up from the innermost depth. Oh, what a relief it is. It was and will be for me a defining moment.