Pressed to Pray by Susan Barclay

As moms and dads we do the best we can. We're limited by our personalities, temperaments, experiences, perceptions, knowledge (and probably a whole host of other things), but we love our children and as Christians it's our deepest longing that they'll grow up to love, serve and follow Christ. Unfortunately, no matter how well we parent (or even how poorly), there are no guarantees. Just like you and me, God gave our children free will, and ultimately it is their personal decision to make our faith their own.

It's been a couple of years now since our son declared himself an agnostic. We'd known that something was amiss - he'd stopped taking communion and spent a fair bit of his time during church services fooling around on his cell phone. I think my husband and I both hoped he was just going through a low phase, that he would wrestle things through - with God, with his youth leaders - and find his footing again. I don't think either of us challenged him. Our son is a thinker and can talk circles around us. Of course, if we'd trusted the Holy Spirit to give us the words...

Sigh.

Today our son identifies as an apathetic agnostic. If you don't know what this means, it's the view that there is no proof of either God's existence or non-existence and if there is a God, it doesn't matter much, since he seems unconcerned with the universe or its inhabitants.

You may be wondering how this ties in with this month's theme of obstacles and how God opened an opportunity through one. If we look at the dictionary definition of an obstacle, it is "a thing that blocks one's way or prevents or hinders progress." But I am going to use the thesaurus approach and talk about how my son's loss of faith was a hardship that God used to deepen my prayer life and to minister to others facing various life difficulties.

You see, I used to have the idea that although my family wasn't perfect, we were doing pretty well. Both of my kids were believers. We went to church together, they went to youth group and on retreats, we enjoyed engaging in theological discussions, etc. I couldn't imagine that anything could change that. I don't like to think I was prideful, but my obvious naivete suggests that I must have been. We all know the saying, "Pride goes before a fall." Not that it's all my fault, by any means. We all make our own choices.


When my son's faith derailed, it pressed me to pray like I'd never prayed before - with tears. It prompted me to begin an online prayer group that now has eighteen committed members. We pray for 3 members (and their families) each day, Monday to Saturday. We've seen some prayers answered and on others we're still waiting for God to move. We know God is working behind the scenes; we know His plans are good and that He's the giver of all good gifts. We do not walk alone. His timing is perfect as are His ways and we put our trust in Him, even when things look bleak. Especially then. We do not give up on our son or on other loved ones; we don't give up on God.

When people compliment my written prayers, I thank them then say I consider our prayer group a ministry. I do. God took hardship and turned it into a ministry of prayer.

"At night we may cry, but when morning comes we will celebrate." Psalm 30:5b, CEV

I'm looking forward to morning!
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Susan Barclay maintains a website at www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com. She is also the new writing groups coordinator for Inscribe.