Embracing the Season by Sharon Espeseth

Later Fall Near Our House

It's autumn, "later autumn," ”I call it. The leaves have fallen and nature’s colours appear muted compared to the more colourful days preceding. The sunrise surprises us with a palette of pastel. A walk feels good, if you bundle up. 

I have seen many Novembers and I'm writing this on my birthday, which calls for reflection. The signs of my times tell me I also am in the "later autumn" of my life. The colourful days of raising children, teaching, managing the household and family, shopping, and travelling are vanishing. 

Hank asks me what I want.

After 43 years of marriage, the Norwegian and I don't always exchange gifts, but this birthday Hank asked, "Do you need, or want, anything?"

"No, I don't really need anything," I said, chuckling. 

"Jewellery? A new pair of earrings. . . ?" he asked.

I’d love a new pair of earrings," I said, in light of this being a special birthday and Hank’s offer to celebrate with me. 

What do you want me to do for you? Jesus asks Bartimaeus.

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While Jesus and his disciples and a large crowd were leaving Jericho, Bartimaeus heard it was Jesus of Nazareth passing by. "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" he shouted. 

When others tried to silence him, Bartimaeus cried out all the louder. 

Jesus stood still and said to his disciples, "Call him here."

"Take heart,” they said. “Get up he is calling you." Bartimaeus quickly threw off his cloak, jumped up and came to Jesus.

Jesus asked, "What do you want me to do for you?"

Without hesitation, he answered, "My teacher, let me see again."

 "Go." Jesus said. 'Your faith has made you well." (Bible reference: Mark 10:46-52)

Just as Hank asked me what I wanted for my birthday, Jesus asks us what we really want him to do for us. Our answer would be more serious than a pair of earrings, but my story is a reminder that Jesus wants us to consider what we are asking for. 

Learning to embrace this season of our lives

As we get older, my husband and I are facing more health problems. Hank, my senior by a few years, faced the first onslaught of the aging process. Being a couple, when life slows down for one, it slows down for both. Adjustments are needed. 

Hank and I pray about our health, especially Hank's health, but, as Hank's doctor says with a kindly smile, "I can't make you 21 again." We’re both trying to reset our minds regarding what we can realistically do. I've been slower than Hank to accept our new limitations. Since we can’t change what is, we need to change our expectations, and to pray for strength and guidance from there.

Last spring when I became ill with depression, again, and neuralgia, which was new, we faced obstacles in managing the basics. My doctor advised me to curtail all activities, including writing and music. Of course, I still wrote, but it was Morning Pages, for me alone. I still sang, but it was in the basement on my own. I needed to rest. Hank and I leaned on God, on each other, and on our family and friends. 

I feared something would happen to Hank. I feared being on my own after all these years. God assured me he still had "plans to prosper us and not to harm us." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Like Bartimaeus, I needed to throw off my cloak of doubt and fear and to ask Jesus to give me fresh “insight” as to how I must walk during this season of my life.

A message from The Message

Eugene H. Peterson in his "Introduction to Proverbs" in The Message says, “Many people think that what's written in the Bible has mostly to do with getting people into heaven. . . It does have to do with that, of course. . . It is equally concerned with living on earth--living well, living in robust sanity."

Proverbs 3:5-6 in The Message says, 

                                              "Trust God from the bottom of your heart,

                                               don't try to figure out everything on your own.

                                               Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go,

                                               he's the one who will keep you on track.

With God's help and his Word to guide me, I am learning to embrace this "later autumn" season of my life. He "has not given (me) a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) 

As Eugene H. Peterson might say, I plan, with God’s help, to live well and "in robust sanity" during this season of my life. I am learning to embrace life and what is!