December 20, 2017

Ponderings ... Wonderings by Joylene M. Bailey

My husband and I raised three daughters. So when our first grandson came along things felt different. Not just because he made us grandparents, but because he was a boy.

I was privileged to meet him on November 21, 2013, the day after he was born. And in the month between his birth and Christmas Day that year, I found myself pondering the birth of Christ in a whole new way. He was a baby boy too. In fact, I pondered much more than His birth. And I pondered it from the perspective of a mother. More and more, I found myself thinking of Mary.

I watched my daughter fall in love with her new son. I watched her care for him and coo to him. I thought of Mary, loving her new baby boy, cooing to Him, cuddling Him. She knew He was very special, but did she know anything about what the future would bring? The angel Gabriel had only told her that she would bear a son and name Him Jesus, that He would be great and that there would be no end to His kingdom.

As I watched my daughter with her new son, my heart broke for Mary.

Joy and pain; love and fear. A mother’s heart goes through many things as she raises her child, but I wonder … could anything be more heartbreaking than watching your child suffer to the point of death? Mary, on that first Christmas Day, did you know your Son would have to suffer so?

It is probably a God-given kindness that we cannot see into the future.

Our grandson turned four this year. Every year that has passed, I have thought about Jesus at that age. More than that, I have thought about Mary, raising this boy she is growing to love more and more with each passing year; how He and His siblings are filling her mother-heart to overflowing and then …

I wonder ... Once Jesus had risen from the dead, and appeared to His disciples. Once He had taken His rightful place in heaven ... was her heart healed? Or, like Jesus’ risen body bore the scars of his death, did her heart still bear the scars of her heartbreak?

Perhaps I’ll ask her one day, when I meet her in heaven.


Joylene will be relishing her time this Christmas with four-year-old Little Man, as well as Sweet Thing, Sunny & Bright, all of their parents, her Cowboy, Babe, and a cat named Calvin. 
She blogs at Scraps of Joy.


  1. You make me think... and I have my answer. Even though I know where our baby is after she left this life, the heartbreak remains. Mary? Probably the same. As you say, it's a Mother thing.

    1. And what a joy it will be to see her again, Bobbi. A Mother thing, definitely.

  2. Our first grandson was born just two days ago after three granddaughters. i also know the feeling of 'what do I do?" sine i had three girls of my own and then a son. Boys are definitely different but just as precious. I love the thoughts you had about how Mary must have felt. thanks for your faithfulness in posting - you always have something beautiful or thought provoking to share.

  3. Thanks for this post. I have often been drawn to the pondering of Mary, how she kept this things in her heart, joy and sorrow ... and was she always comforted/not anxious knowing who Jesus's real father was? More and more I would also like to meet Mary-it is a Mother thing.


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