Writing with the Breathings of Our Heart by Loretta Bouillon

This months theme is based on William Wordsworth’s quote instructing writers to “fill your paper with the breathings of the heart” This is something that comes very natural to me. My first “journal” was given to me when I was nine years old. We called it a “diary” back then. It was a little hard-covered book that allowed five lines per day to write your thoughts. I had its own lock and key. I remember it well. It was shiny and beige. It was my treasure.

Since that time, I have filled many journals over the years. I have a box of them in my closet from the last twenty years of raising my family. The earlier volumes are really more just rantings and lamenting about difficult pregnancies, sleepless nights and longing for a moment to myself. Over the years, my daily journal has evolved into an ongoing conversation with God. These pages are still filled with lamenting and crying out to Him, but there are also many documented happy times, revelations and praises to the Lord as well.

As my relationship with the God has matured, so has my journal writing. I think there must be a balance between prayer requests and a thankful heart.  I do write with the underlying thought: “Do I want my children reading this and remembering their mother this way when I am gone?” I don’t like to journal with an “editor” in my head, however, instead, I ask God for discernment as I am writing my most personal thoughts.

When I share my experiences to encourage or inspire others, in a more public medium, I want to make sure that I do not dishonor my husband or children in any way. I often like to write about day to day life with my family so if I mention any of them, I let them read what I have written before publishing. If I share thoughts about my faith, I usually ask God what I should do with it. Is this for my own blog or other blogs that I contribute to? Could this be a submission for a magazine? Perhaps it is just a short facebook post that I feel the Lord will use to touch someone that day.

I guess when it comes right down to it, my desire is to be prayerful about everything I write, just like it is to be prayerful about everything I speak. When I write the “breathings of my heart”, I want to glorify my God always.

Bad Breath and Bravery by Connie Inglis

"Breathings of your heart." There's a warmth to that phrase. It is beautiful and gentle but honestly, not always realistic. We have all had morning breath, or garlic breath. Sometimes we snore. Sometimes we belch. Admittedly, sometimes our breathings are not pleasant. The physical solution is to brush our teeth, have a mint, chew some gum. But what about our internal breathings, when they are not gentle but ugly? What do we as writers do with that?

At the end of last year our family went through a tumultuous time (see my Dec. 2014 post). So much uncertainty. Yet through it all, God was faithful. We continue to work through things and He has brought abundant healing. Still, fear seems to be dying a slow death. Every now and then it lifts its moribund head and points its enfeebled finger at me. And to my surprise, I cringe.

Can I write about that? When life is foul? When human fears niggle at my heart and mind? I have found that it is especially in those dark times that I NEED to write in order to process. Last fall a writer friend gave me the book, Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo. This book has helped me write with the purpose to heal and I recommend it to anyone who needs a guide to be able to do that. I journalled my way through those months, kept my sanity, and clung to God. Many of the poems I wrote for November's NaNoWriMo (I did the Writer's Digest Poem-a-Day prompts) voiced my pain--some hope but mostly pain. It was therapy--Holy Spirit-driven therapy. I knew God's presence as I breathed out my fears, my anger, my angst, my questions. And I also knew that God did not condemn my vulnerability--that He loves me ALL the time and accepts me, bad breath and all. 

So, can I, should I, share these breathings with others? I am learning that if I truly DO believe that my worth is found in God and that He loves me unconditionally (Jeremiah 31:3), then I can be vulnerable with others. I can be brave in sharing who I really am in my writing. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown says it this way: "Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism. Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection." 

Last November, in the thick of a long list of unexpected events, something especially painful happened. A group of people that we felt safe with came alongside us in all our questions of what to do. But instead of showing grace and love with a listening ear, they bombarded us with questions, gave us advice, and then shunned us when all we needed was support. I was so hurt and angered by the experience that for a while I couldn't even voice my pain. But I found I could write my pain and it helped me heal. 

Since then, I've had two opportunities to come alongside someone struggling in the same way. God gave me the courage to be vulnerable and share a specific poem--an ugly poem that expressed my pain. My breathings did not offer answers but they did offer connection and comfort. They knew that I understood their pain and anger and that they weren't alone. And both these people thanked me for my honesty. 

And now God is asking me to be brave right now and share this poem here. My prayer is that it will resonate with someone who has felt rejection and offer comfort. I must also add: I am SO thankful that God never rejects me, never rejects you--that His love is unlimited and relentless.

Rejection

Those sorries said are whitewashed tombs,

A cultured, hollow word,

A sorry here, a sorry there,

So heartless, dead, absurd.

You speak of care so tenderly,

With arms so stiff and cold,

In corpse-like form you shut the door,

And toss me from the fold.

Sepulchre of hypocrisy,

Rejection’s work is done,

For actions are the tell-tale sign,

And yours—they count for none.

Write with the Breathings of Our Hearts by Sandi Somers

William Wordsworth once instructed writers to “fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But putting our feelings and “breathings” onto paper in a way that will inspire others is not as easy as it sounds.

Prompt: What have you learned about writing very personal thoughts and feelings? What advice would you give other writers about putting their “breathings of their hearts” onto paper?

Breathe in, Breathe Out

“Breathings of the heart” brings to mind the cycle of breathing in, breathing out.

Each morning I breathe in the word of God, and the Holy Spirit breathes life and healing into my messy and mysterious life.

Peace when I’m perplexed

          Clarity when I’m confused

                   Faith when I’m fearful

Then when I sit down to journal or write an article, I can breathe out His thoughts.

          Thoughts inspired by the Holy Spirit

                   Thoughts woven into a work of art

                             Thoughts to communicate God’s message

 Ponder the breathings of your own heart, and meditate on the following thoughts:

·        Stay close to God through time in the Word, time reflecting, time praying.

·        Give Him as much as you know of yourself.

·        Ask God to transform your present circumstances. He is faithful to answer you.

·        Discover how God wants to translate the themes in your life into words.

·        When you feel scared, vulnerable and exposed about putting your words on paper, trust God for the best way to tell your story.

And as you trust God, He will “translate (your words) into words of love, words that heal and transform, words that change lives, words that have eternal significance” (Marcia Laycock, speaking at our Southern Alberta WordShop, April 25).