Dear Sixteen-Year-Old Me,
You thought you would go to Sweden on your own this year. Ha! You’ll be fortunate if you get there before you’re too old to go. But put your mind at ease: 16 is far too young to go hotfooting around the globe on your own. And one day you’ll have a son who’s interested in Sweden, too. Maybe you’ll go together!
You also thought you’d be married by the time you’re 23. Nope. You won’t even seriously date until you’re almost 25. And then you’ll waste time on a commitment-phobe. Afterwards you’ll tell yourself, and you won’t be wrong, that no time is wasted if you learn something. You do learn something: never pass yourself off as someone you’re not to try to fit someone else’s mould. Even if you’re not perfect (see next paragraph), yourself is actually pretty great. God made you, right? He doesn’t make junk.
You know what else? Twenty three is pretty young to get married. It won’t seem so as you watch many of your peers marry sooner than you do. But comparison is the thief of joy, peace, and contentment. If I could give you a timely word of advice, I’d say don’t play that game. When you marry, you’ll choose someone who shares your beliefs and values, who’ll stick with you through all the ups and downs. He won’t be perfect. Big secret, neither are you (despite being pretty great – see above). It’ll be worth the wait to have a God-fearing person with whom to do life.
You’re already working in a library and that’s where you’ll spend your career. You’ll never lose your love of reading, acquiring books, and doing readers’ advisory. It’s parallel to the work you really want to do as a writer but it’s stable and more readily pays the bills. Sadly, you won’t develop good writing habits while you’re young and carry them throughout the busy life headed your way, but it’s never too late to start, or to start over. That applies to many things, not only to writing.
You’ll have two children, a girl and a boy. You’ll love and raise them as best as you know how. They’ll both walk away from God and the foundation you’ll raise them on. Don’t worry, though. Their salvation never depended on you. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Their journeys are their own. Those journeys will be a lot more mind-blowing than yours, but He’s got them just like He has you. He is faithful. You’ll learn to depend on Him and you’ll grow in Him. You’ll find He’s right there in the fire with you. He’s working, even when you cannot see. I have seen my faith made sight, so I know that this is true. He never stops working.
You’ll question some of the decisions you'll make, whether different choices would’ve produced different (better) results. Remember that hindsight is 20-20. Let go of regret and wishful thinking. You’re not one to rashly follow a path. You’ll do your homework; sometimes you’ll remember to pray about it. God won’t always make everything perfectly clear and you’ll go in a direction perhaps you shouldn’t have. Life is full of ups and downs. God gave you a free will and knew the decisions you would make. He works ALL things together for your good because you love Him and are called according to His purposes (ref Romans 8:28). He loves you and accepts you.
God loves you unconditionally, just like He loves everyone, but only those who receive Jesus get to spend eternity with Him. You’ve accepted Jesus already, even though at 16 you don’t have a complete understanding of what that means. You’ll understand it better by and by. The process of sanctification (transformation) takes a lifetime and that’s okay. That’s how God designed it. Receive His forgiveness for your mistakes and forgive yourself, too. Trust Him always. Cling to Him in times of trouble. He will see you through, and one day He will walk you Home.
Love,
Your older and wiser self
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