Untidy Lot by Mary Folkerts

 

Sometimes, we think that to be a respected writer, one needs to be on the healed side of broken. Maybe it’s because we feel we can’t provide answers for hurting people since we struggle with our own issues. In that case, we should all put down our pens, for no one will ever be free from struggle on this side of heaven. 

There is a long list of writers who struggled with mental health and yet have had a significant impact on readers with their insight and vulnerability. C.S. Lewis himself writes about mental pain and seems to have understood it personally. Other names such as Martin Luther, William Cowper, Charles Spurgeon, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King, Jr. can be added to that list (The Weary Christian—Diana Gruver).

I wonder if these influential people made such an impact with their writings because of how intensely they felt things. With such intensity of emotion comes deep thought (sometimes to the detriment of mental health), but what a release for the sufferer to let their thoughts leak out onto paper. Not only is it a benefit for the writer, but it can put words to the thoughts and pains of fellow sufferers! 

“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more” C.S. Lewis

So, if you struggle with mental health and feel that might discredit you from writing, you’re wrong. You’re in good company! God can use your weakness for His good. In His strength, he can take your vulnerable offering to encourage many. Take up your pen! 

Mary Folkerts is mom to four kids and wife to a farmer, living on the southern prairies of Alberta, where the skies are large and the sunsets stunning. She is a Proverbs 31 ministries COMPEL Writers Training member and is involved in church ministries and music. Mary’s personal blog aims to encourage and inspire women and advocate for those with Down Syndrome, as their youngest child introduced them to this extraordinary new world. For more inspiration, check out Joy in the small things https://maryfolkerts.com/  or connect on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/maryfolkerts/ 

 

Overcoming Overwhelm by Steph Beth Nickel

 

https://pixabay.com/photos/little-boy-hiding-sad-child-fear-1635065/

Have you ever felt like hiding in a pillow fort?

It was just the other night that overwhelm struck. I had several balls in the air at the same time, and, quite frankly, I felt like letting them all fall, shutting down my computer, and hiding in a pillow fort (or watching an episode of "Rescue Special Operations").

While I did finish writing the email I was working on, I decided that I needed sleep more than I needed to power through anything more.

And in the morning...

I was refreshed and ready to tackle the day. No pillow fort needed.

There are a number of other things that recharge my batteries and chase away overwhelm. Among them...

1. Going for a walk.

2. Doing a brief workout.

3. Taking nature photos.

4. Having coffee with a friend.

5. Listening to a podcast.

6. Reading a chapter in one of the books I'm reading.

7. Focusing on a single task at a time. (Close those extra tabs, Stephanie!)

And let's not forget the aforementioned getting some shut-eye.

This post has only scratched the surface of how to overcome overwhelm. Among the other things we may want to try are...

1. Determining if there are commitments we need to let go.

2. Learning that it's alright to say no when we're asked to take on a task we don't have the bandwidth for.

3. Reworking our schedule.

4. Deleting social media from our phone. 

5. Decluttering our surroundings so we aren't as distracted when we sit down to work.

6. Setting a timer and working on the task at hand until the timer goes off.

7. Establishing a ritual that tells our brain, "It's time to get to work" (i.e.: settling in to a spot set aside for work, lighting a candle, turning on some instrumental music...).

And, above all else, as believers, we ought to cast our cares on the One who loves us more than even our closest family members and friends. We must also ask for wisdom from the One who promises to give it generously.

How do you deal with overwhelm?

It's a Matter of Focus by Steph Beth Nickel

This month's suggested topic: Grappling with Ethical Dilemmas

Are you like me? Are you at risk of becoming overwhelmed by the ongoing challenges of COVID-19? The plethora of ugly incidents fueled by prejudice and hate? News of hidden abuse in the church and how victims are revictimized? Young people struggling with their identity? Insensitivity to those dealing with mental health issues?

What should I address? What should I take a stand against? What should I focus on?

On June 7, I posted this in one of my Facebook groups:

We have a choice.

Will we look into the darkness and try to make sense of all the shadowy figures there?

Or...

Will we look to the Light? Jesus said He was the Light of the World.

If we choose to focus on the Light, we will catch glimpses of what's going on in the dark...

But...

We won't so easily become distracted, discouraged, and disheartened.

Today, I choose to look to the Light!

I had gotten to the place of wanting to curl up in a ball in the corner and hiding from all the pain and heartache in the world.

And then, as He does, God broke in with a far better idea: Look to the Light!

Does this mean we ignore the ethical dilemmas swirling around us? Does it mean we don't address them privately—and, at times, publicly? Does it mean we don't stand with the hurting?

Of course not.

Consider how Jesus separates the sheep from the goats at the end of time. 

Are we willing to reach out with Hope to the hopeless? With Companionship to the lonely? With Light to those lost in darkness?

Jesus said if we meet the needs of others, it's the same as meeting His needs. Let's dwell on that for a few moments. Wow!

You can't do it all, and neither can I.

But...

I can do the things He calls me to, and so can you.

After all, in 2 Peter 1:3, we read, "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (NIV).

He doesn't promise me the wherewithal to face all the tragedy that bombards us each day. But He does promise to give me everything I need to fulfill those good works He has prepared in advance for me to accomplish. (See Ephesians 2:10.)

Today, I will prayerfully look to the Light, rely on His provision, and address the ethical dilemmas and needs He brings across my path.

Will you?

Overwhelmed or Prayerful? by Steph Beth Nickel

Wildfires. Hurricanes. Oppression. Political upheaval. And yes, a worldwide pandemic.

Add to that personal challenges and the struggles being experienced by family and friends, and there is a very real temptation to curl up in a corner and hope it all just goes away. It’s no wonder anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues are on the rise.

More than ever before, I’ve recognized that we have to make deliberate choices as to how we’re going to face these tumultuous days.

Keep Our Head Down and Act as If Everything is Fine

Granted, I’d love to live in Happy Bubble Land, but we all know it isn’t a real place—at least not this side of heaven. Still, there are plenty of people who are afraid to look around for fear that they will be swept away by all that’s going on in the world. They do their best to continue on, business as usual. And while it may work for a time, unless we’re living completely “off the grid,” news of the most recent heartbreaking situation is at our fingertips 24/7.

Overextend Ourselves, Taking on More than We Can Handle

Like me, you may care deeply about a wide variety of issues. You wonder what you can do to make things better. You have friends whose passions fuel your own. And then—you overextend. You take up just one more cause. Comment on just one more social media post. Say yes to just one more request. And soon you’re done in. You either work to the point of exhaustion or you leave project after project undone because you just don’t have the wherewithal to complete it.

Succumb to the Temptation to “Doom Scroll”

No matter how many times we tell ourselves we’re not going to read another post about COVID or the online arguments raging on social media or the political mudslinging, it comes across our newsfeed or a family member fills us in on something we’d rather not know. It is important to be informed. However, we can’t do something about everything. And often, too much doom scrolling leads to overwhelm, which leads to ineffectiveness in all areas.

Allow the Anxiety to Get the Upper Hand

I’m not suggesting that overcoming anxiety and other mental health considerations are as simple as flipping a switch. I know full well they’re not. I’ve slept more in the last year and a half than ever before. I’ve watched way more YouTube videos and streamed more TV shows than was wise. I’ve even been on the precipice of panic attacks, something I’ve never experienced before. No judgement here! When mental health issues of any description rear their ugly head, it’s important to reach out and get the help we need. It may be as simple as spending time with a friend, or we may need to see a professional counsellor. It’s important that we don’t let the tide carry us away.

Focus on the Task at Hand While Acknowledging that the Struggle is Real

Do you pick up your phone before you’re even out of bed to see what’s happening in the world? Do you make a long To-Do List every day and then become overwhelmed before you even begin? Do you rehearse the dozen things you still have on your list while you’re working on something else? Although I do make a fairly lengthy To-Do list, I’m learning to focus on the task at hand and celebrate each one that I cross off my list. Am I always successful? Absolutely not. (In fact, I was just notified that I have a message on my phone, and I was tempted to check it before I even finished this paragraph.)

There is one choice that will put all others into perspective …

Become More Prayerful

It may seem obvious, but it’s so easy to “forget” to spend time in God’s presence. We can become so overwhelmed that we can’t formulate a coherent sentence. (It’s okay to simply say, “God, I need you!”) On the other hand, we can be so focused on keeping our head down and accomplishing the task at hand that we don’t make prayer a part of our day.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the tragedies suffered by those in Old Testament times. The Lord often chastened them for not turning to Him when their world was falling apart. He would often wait to pour out rich blessing until they remembered to go to Him in prayer. I don’t know how long the pandemic will last, when the wildfires will be extinguished, or what the results of the next election will be, but I do know that the Lord offers peace and wisdom to those who spend time in His presence.

May He equip each of us to obey the commands in Philippians 4:4-6: “Rejoice in the Lord always … do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” We can then hold onto the promise in verse 7: ”And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (ESV).

Easter in Isolation by Steph Beth Nickel

COVID-19 has affected everything—including how we celebrate the Lord’s death and resurrection.

For the second year in a row … No joint services. No potlucks. No large family gatherings to celebrate the most important weekend on the Christian calendar.

And even if restrictions are lifted to a degree, there are still those who will not be able to attend services and small family get-togethers. The elderly. Those dealing with health issues of various kinds. Others in the high-risk category.

The past year has taken a toll on all of us, on some far more than others.

But even a worldwide pandemic can’t change …

The fact that God the Father sent His Son to die on Calvary FOR US! (John 3:16)

Death could not contain our Saviour!

We can cast our cares on Him. (1 Peter 5:7)

His yoke truly is easy and His burden light—even when it doesn’t feel like it. (Matthew 11:30)

He works out all things—worldwide pandemics included—for the good of His children. (Romans 8:28)

Some two millennia later, we can worship together—possibly, from the comfort of our living room couch. Watching the livestream of a church service isn’t the same as meeting in person, but it can keep us connected.

We can celebrate together with friends and family—even if it is over Zoom.

How can we bless others—even during these crazy days?

It seems strange to suggest putting yourself first, but it’s important. Before we can pour out into others, we must fill our spiritual well. It’s vital that we spend time in God’s Word and prayer, that we fellowship with other believers—if not in person, by phone or over the Internet.

Send a voicemail or video rather than simply firing off a text. You may even want to download the Marco Polo app or Voxer.

Start a Facebook group for family and friends where you can “hang out” together.

Get hold of your church directory and message those you haven’t seen in some time. If they’re not online—or even if they are, you can pop a note or Easter card in the mail. You never know what a difference it can make.

Prep a meal for a shut-in.

Offer to shop for someone who’s sick.

Go for a walk in the park with a friend.

Meet a friend for coffee if your local coffeeshop is open.

Offer to be a listening ear to those who are hurting. People don’t always need someone to steer them in the right direction. Sometimes, they just need a sounding board.

How can we take care of ourselves during this time?

As I mentioned, we must take care of our spiritual wellbeing.

The practice of spiritual disciplines doesn’t guarantee emotional health. This past year has been difficult for those who previously were unfamiliar with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. And for many who dealt with these conditions pre-COVID, it has been almost unbearable.

I’m not a therapist nor a psychiatrist, but if you know someone who is struggling, I encourage you to be that sounding board. And if you’re dealing with mental health issues, please reach out.

And Church, please DO NOT make those who struggle feel lesser in any way.

Our spiritual and emotional health are also wrapped up with our physical wellbeing. Need to make some changes? Don’t try to do everything at once. Take small steps in the right direction. Make lifestyle changes one by one. Add more physical activity to your schedule. Add resistance training to your schedule; even bodyweight exercises and the use of light weights can have long term benefits. Make healthier food choices. Drink more water. Get adequate sleep.

As we care for ourselves—and others—we’ll be better able to celebrate our Lord’s death and resurrection more wholeheartedly—whether we do so in person with other believers or within the walls of our own home.

 

Dear Editor... Guest post by Gloria Guest

 *The following blog post addresses a sensitive subject on the issues of mental health that some readers may find triggering. 

On August 13, 2004, a letter to the editor that I wrote was printed in the Edmonton Journal entitled;

Sister’s suicide raised questions about state of mental health care.

I was surprised it was printed, but glad that a tiny sliver of attention had been granted my sister and our family, at last. I even hoped it would somehow make a difference and some other mentally ill person may be saved and their family would be spared the horrific ordeal we had just come through.

In brief words I described some of what we’d gone through over the last ten years, including the lack of communication between the professionals which eventually resulted in a court order not being carried out properly and her being released from hospital. I went on to describe the many other occasions where she was released from the psychiatrist unit despite the fact that they knew she was going home to the exact same circumstances and cycle. Our family was left, for the most part, out of the loop and patient privacy was protected to such an extent that no matter the mental state she was in, she was always made aware of the content of any conversations we had with her psychiatrists, causing a huge dilemma.

My letter went on to say that I knew it was most likely due to a lack of beds that she was released so prematurely and contained questions as to what could be done about that and what I considered the overly extreme protection of patient privacy rights, even when it was to the detriment of the patient. 

Of course, I had many more questions and issues that there was no room to bring up. There was so much more hidden between the lines of what my sister and our family had been through .My sister was chronically depressed and suicidal. She’d been through the emergency wards and psychiatric wards more times than we could remember. Often she was there when we didn’t know, as no one called. 

She eventually did take her life on a beautiful spring day in June of 2004. Although since January of that year, we’d seen a steady decline in her mental and physical well-being, we were all still taken off guard when it happened, as she had always managed a way back. Not this time. 

It’s a surreal feeling when you’ve tried to help someone for so long and held onto hope that maybe someday, something, would change and then just like that….it’s over. I didn’t know what to do with my shock, my anger, my grief or my left-over feelings that I had been her older sister and should have found a way to save her. Perhaps that was a part of writing the letter. All I knew then and know now is that there were more problems than solutions with the system we found ourselves in; that revolving door cycle I mentioned earlier. In learning more about what some of that was like for her later, we even discovered that the parting words of one of the nurses on the psychiatric ward when she left for the last time were, "See you next time Brenda.” 

Those words are a shocking, eye-opening insight into some of the issues. I find the statement beyond callous but most likely said by someone who in fact did believe what she was saying and was so a part of the system that she didn’t even question the effect of such a statement on my sister. Although I’m not saying that it caused her to take her life it had to have confirmed to her that she was caught in a vicious cycle. Stigma does in fact exist within the very mental health system that claims to help. 

After her death, our family also tried without success to gain access to her medical records. Without her spouse’s help that was impossible and her last psychiatrist did not even return a simple courtesy call when I asked if we could have one final family discussion with him about her. In their eyes, it was over and done. Case closed. That is also why I wrote the letter, naming the hospital of which she had so recently been a patient. To her family, this tragedy would never be over. Yes, we’ve moved on and lived our lives these past sixteen years without her and with all of our unanswered questions, and I personally have gone through many years of healing. I’m a far different and better person for going through it. Yet that doesn’t excuse how she or we were treated. Our family needed and deserved more. So do other families.

Over the years, in the midst of my own growth, I’ve tried to do my small part in sharing my voice, for both Brenda and myself and other families. I don’t feel I’ve been overly successful and often think of whether there is more I can do. Mostly I’ve blogged about her, in a far more personal way than I could share in a letter to an editor. I’ve written a few poems and shared one on one with people about various aspects of walking the hard road of being a survivor of someone who died by suicide or about childhood sexual abuse issues or the many other parts of the web that made up her story. It never really feels like enough on my part. So I look around to what others are doing and yes I do often feel encouraged; the start-up of Survivor of Suicide groups that were barely around when this happened to our family, grief counselling which is now far more understood. I’m encouraged by things I’ve personally learned through research and gifted counsellors such as the effects of early childhood abuse and how that leads to childhood complex trauma, a condition which is becoming far more understood by counsellors trained in therapy to deal with it. 

I’m not sure what my Letter to the Editor would say on the subject of mental health if I wrote one today, but it would still raise many questions and concerns. When I think about the stigma that still surrounds the words suicide, depression or mental illness, I’m not so encouraged. People still back away and you learn not to talk about it. I’ve spoken with enough people over the years to know that it’s not just me seeing this lack of growth. In fact only today I spoke with someone who told me that it’s really not worth asking for a mental health day at work considering the stigma attached. Yes I know people are talking about mental health more these days and it’s all over social media; I’m just not convinced that the stigma has had much of a dent put in it. Maybe someday…..things will be different.

For now, I will keep growing and healing and having my one on one conversations and writing my small blogs and poems. Perhaps with Gods leading I can find more ways to have that voice in a much needed area. I will keep talking about my beautiful sister who fought her battle so hard in the midst of great odds against her. And I will talk about the families left behind.  

The Canada Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS), by Crisis Services Canada enables callers anywhere in Canada to access crisis support by phone in French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7 text 45645 (4 PM - 12 AM ET)

A Blind Eye And Racism - Bob Jones

You could say I always wanted to be the Barry Manilow of writers. “I write the words that make the whole world read.” I Write The Songs won song of the year in 1975.  Manilow sang it but Bruce Johnston penned the lyrics and said he was referring to God and the spirit of creativity as the writer of the songs. 

God directed my writing to the themes of hope, comebacks from setbacks, and mental health. The themes were expressed in the life stories of people I’ve come to know and love. The reward of writing is being read and hearing from people that they see themselves in the stories.

I rarely make myself the subject but in this instance I will make an exception. The brevity of the post needs an explanation. In the last three weeks I lost sight in my right eye because of a retinal detachment, had surgery and while convalescing my wife fell and broke her arm. Two days after her accident my surgery went awry and I had to undergo a second surgery. For the rest of June I’m forced to lie prone during the day. We are totally homebound as neither of us can drive.

We’re doing our best to lean into hope, believe for a comeback from the setbacks and work to sustain our mental health through prayer and the kindness of friends and neighbours who have provided meals and rides and laughter. 

As I write now, I must place the screen of my computer on the ground, tilt the keyboard into the legs of a chair and lean over the seat of the chair to type. This is a sure way to make brevity an ally.

When the rivers rise you they will not sweep over you. Isaiah 43:2

In these perilous days I may have found a fourth theme.

Esau McCaulley is black. He is a priest in the Anglican Church in North America, an assistant professor of New Testament at Wheaton College, and the author of the forthcoming book Reading While Black: African American Biblical Interpretation as an Exercise in Hope (IVP Academic).

In light of George Floyd’s murder in Minneapolis, Esau asks, “As an act of love, what if the church says, “It should not have to be this way, and I will spend my life beside yours testifying to the values that the Christian tradition places on your black life.”

I can’t turn a blind eye to racism. 

Bob