What is in my hand?...A reminder of my human nature
I mentioned in my last post of 2024 I faced health challenges throughout the year. A neurologist diagnosed me with a damaged nerve condition called Peripheral Neuropathy in February 2024. While this condition continues, I do not allow it to hold me back.
I am prone as a man to frailties of human nature, like physical vulnerabilities. I am getting older and not as spry as when I enjoyed my twenties or thirties. This, however, is no reason to quit or crawl into a corner and let the world go by… You see, I have promise to keep.
What is in my hand?...The tears of grandparents who need a voice
Through the years since I began to blog here, life has changed. Each year in my posts around December or January, I dedicate a message in memory of my five grandbabies in heaven. These are babies who never made it to birth. While some people might think it odd, I made a promise to these babies. I promised them I would not forget them.
Since I made this promise, I have encountered people who grieve over the deaths of their grandchildren. I have collected stories and experiences from grandparents open enough to share with me. A common expression they have is, “we don’t have a voice.”
I hold their tears in my hand because I resonate with them. Grandparents often spend much of their grief energy caring for their families who also grieve. Their grief matters as well. After hearing and writing their stories, I decided to capture their words and tears in a book. The book has taken me three years to write so far. Life can get in the way, but it does not stop me. I pray the book will be a voice for grandparents who grieve.
I have a couple of titles for the book, but no decision what the title will be. Here are the proposed titles: “Plant Them A Garden: A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith and Poetry,” and “Hidden Poetic Voices: A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith, and Poetry.”
The words I have in my hand are from the beats of my heart and words of faith.
I end this post with a poem to be included in my book.
Give Rest to the Children
By Alan Anderson, July 15, 2023
(I adapted this poem from an Orthodox Christian funeral liturgy for a child.)
The sword of death has come,
my world has changed.
Sorrow steals every moment.
The sun has become cold,
evening is frozen darkness.
The death of my grandchildren…pierces my existence.
How shall I live, O God,
must I continue to breathe?
My tears drown me,
my sobs suffocate me,
life is still.
Grant Your light to these children, O Blessed One,
for they have not sinned or spoiled creation.
Welcome them, give them rest,
where there is no sickness or sorrow or sighing.
They are but children,
have mercy on them, O God.
I will give my grief to God,
The Lord who loves all people,
He will not allow me to be ruined.
With Him, I know my grandchildren live.
God opened the gates of heaven to them.
I can bear my stumbled steps,
begin to walk one foot before another.
I can face the day,
sleep in the night,
with peace.
I remember the children with great love and playful memories,
for God has not forsaken me,
neither are the children lost.
For their memory is eternal,
in the mind of God.
Give rest to the children, O Lord.
Alan, I love the warmth of your remembrance and the tenderness and honesty in your words of grief. Thanks you for giving voice to those who know the depths of suffering in silence and for remembering the little lost ones. Would very much like to read your book when all is done. Thank you and a big warm hug being sent your way, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon! Yes, the suffering silence is a definite theme in the grief of grandparents. Through my interactions this is especially so with grandfathers. Many men keep their grief inside and silent even from their wives. A number of women have told me their husband's "don't like to talk about the death," of their grandchildren, My thought is men either have to know they can trust with their deep anguish or in a sense, be given permission to express their grief.
DeleteThank you so much for the warm hug, Sharon. I always welcome hugs!
Your poem is so beautiful and poignant. We just welcomed our eleventh grandchild into the world on Wednesday via an unexpected emergency C-section. We are so grateful that our little Elsa is healthy and well and that our daughter is also safe and well. However, we did have a couple of days of fervent prayer should the outcome not be what we hoped... As for titles, I'll weigh in with my favourite: "Plant Them a Garden". Blessings.
ReplyDeleteDear Tracy, my prayers are with you and your family on the birth of beautiful Elsa. Yes, indeed, fervent prayer can also bring us comfort. I am so thankful your beloved daughter is also safe and well, and enjoying being mom to little Elsa. Thank you for weighing in on the possible title. I appreciate your comments so much.
Delete. I love that you remember the grandparents as they are often overlooked. What you say here is so true, Alan: “Grandparents often spend much of their grief energy caring for their families who also grieve. Their grief matters as well.”
ReplyDeleteDear Pam. Grandparents have been called "forgotten mourners," in the context of grief. They may also hide a sense of loneliness from their own families as a result of not expressing their grief. Thank you for taking the time to comment, my friend.
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