In the Middle of Excuses by Lorilee Guenter

 

There are many projects on my work in progress pile. I am convinced I always will have a long list of projects. In fact, at least for me, this is a good thing. If I no longer have an in progress list, I am no longer trying new things and starting new writing or art. 

There are many ideas I never started. Some of those ideas I can no longer remember even vague details. I assume they are not important for me to work on at this time. I may have missed a window to work or they may just have been random ideas. I don't need to remember every idea. They are not all for me to work on. I also have unstarted projects or unaddressed ideas that continue to surface, as if nagging me to give them attention. I think these projects, though not officially started, belong on my work in progress list because I continue to give mental space to them.

The middle contains the mess. I need to make choices with regards to this list. I have made many excuses over the years for why things are not finished. My excuses often masquerade as good reasons. The need to finish research has stalled a few projects. The need to clean up a space to spread out a sewing project is another excuse dressed up as a reason. If I really wanted to I could make space long enough to finish, instead I hold back and hold onto the excuse. If the research isn't started; if space is not made or time set into the schedule; they all become an excuse. I am good at making excuses and disguising them. A few years ago I read a book that challenged me to test each reason and consider if the reason is really an excuse. In other words, does my reason have an excuse or a series of excuses holding me back from taking the next step. Almost always, the answer for me, is yes. 

Now that I have analysed down to the root of why projects remain on my work in progress pile, I can take steps to remove the excuses and work back up the chain until I have what I need to move the process forward. I wish I could say I recognize the excuses and root them out with action. I don't until I begin to become frustrated with a lack of progress finishing anything.

Excuses are only one cause of unfinished projects taking up space in my house and on my computer. Some things are not meant to be finished. This a category for me to use because it can excuse a lack of follow through. I have writing that when I pull it out to work on, I find it is not worth finishing. It was an exercise I needed at the time I started it. It taught me something. I return these to the unfinished pile in case God prompts me to go back to them to add to them or pull out character ideas from them. Mostly these are finished because they served their purpose, I just did not recognise that purpose at that time. It is easy for me to let fear move too many things into this category. Once that happens I have moved back into the territory of excuse. 

I am a work in progress. I make excuses. I let fear hold me back. I choose to let roadblocks stall projects that need to be completed. I hold onto project too long once they need to be released. Thankfully my Creator doesn't stop part way, he knows what to hold onto and what to release. Philippians 1:6 reminds me that God doesn't stop. He works on and with His creation until it is complete. He walks with me through the messy middles of life and writing. When I let Him, He resolves the tension of the messy middle by showing me the fear and excuses holding me back. Then He guides me through them.

Today I'm letting Him guide me and teach me through the projects I work on. Tomorrow I will have a choice to continue or to try to do it my way. Each day I choose to let God remove the excuses it is easier to hear His voice and follow His leading so that when tomorrow becomes today, I will once again let Him guide and teach me.