“You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.” Tommy Lasorda, LA Dodgers
“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” Mario Puzo
Loyalty. Aside from faithfully carrying out my responsibilities in the first month of my first pastoral role, that’s the only expectation my senior pastor placed on me.
Fresh out of Bible College, newly married, and grateful to have a paying job, why would I not be loyal to the man who gave me a chance? Besides, loyalty is easy when there is respect for a trustworthy leader and her or his experience. I was the rookie. He was the veteran. He was easy to work with, an example of dedicated faith, had a great sense of humour, his three sons respected him, and his wife was devoted to him.
We worked hard, saw men and women make decisions to follow Jesus, and the church grew. He gave me opportunities to lead and experience ministry, didn’t overreact when I made mistakes or fell short of excellence.
About a year into our experience, I received a call from a man in the church that I respected. He wanted to know if I was interested in going with him and his friends to a Major League baseball game in a neighbouring city. He didn’t have to ask twice! That would be my first time in a storied ballpark to see a team I cheered for as a kid.
During the drive to the game the conversation turned from baseball to our church. Did I feel over-worked? Did I feel our pastor was doing a good job? Did I have any concerns about his leadership? Do you see yourself as a senior pastor? No. Yes. No. No, why would I? The conversation turned in another direction and the subject never came up again that night. The baseball game and the stadium were fantastic. The days ahead were not. That was the last game I was invited to.
Not too long after that night our lead pastor called me into his office. He explained that some of the members were upset with him. They had drafted a petition for a vote of confidence on his leadership. There would be a “meeting.” Did I know anything about that? No. Who would do that kind of thing? Turns out there was more than a baseball game going on that night a few weeks back.
He asked my wife and I not to attend the meeting. This was one pastoral experience he didn’t want us to have. The confidence vote failed. He could stay. However, eight months later he accepted a pastoral role in another province. He thanked me for my loyalty and asked if I would be willing to come with him as his assistant. We readily said, yes. I remember his surprised look and then a smile and a tear.
We worked together for a total of ten years in two churches over thirty years ago. We stay in touch. My loyalty is still to him. Always will be. Both of us are aged now, with no regrets.
My situation didn’t become an ethical dilemma, but I wonder if that’s because all I wanted to do was be loyal.
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Bob, I love this story! You were so innocent to what was going on behind the scenes because of your loyalty to this man. How wonderful that you were able to have a long friendship because of your choice to be loyal.
ReplyDeleteWe never know how ethically based choices can lead to a lifetime of benefit. Thank you for commenting Joy.
DeleteBob, what a wonderful example of loyalty. When our loyalty is to Christ first, He keeps us from following the last people we should. Divisions in families or churches are so painful. I'm glad you chose well.
ReplyDeleteBlessings ~ Wendy Mac
Thank you so much Wendy. I saw that if I sowed loyalty I would reap loyalty.
DeleteThis is a wonderful story of loyalty and not getting drawn into a huge mess.
ReplyDeleteThat’s so true Lorrie. A huge mess can be avoided by a simple, faithful choice.
DeleteThis is a powerful story, Bob. Unfortunately, this type of scenario is played out in churches all the time. I think most of the time the people are well meaning - maybe even believe that God is asking them to do such-and-such. However, it has been our stance (my husband and I - both in formal ministry and out) to support our pastor no matter what. (Sexual moral failing excluded.) Sometimes this is tough and it feels like you're not part of the "in" crowd... But I believe God honours it when we honor our leadership. Well done.
ReplyDeleteYour comment is one more reason why I respect you so much Tracy. You and your husband have conducted yourselves well and have contributed to the health of the church families you are a part of.
DeleteWell done, Bob. Even so, there are times when an elder must be rebuked. Timothy sure had problems with false teachers, as did Paul. Peter and Jude warned about these wolves in sheep costumes too. The Old Testament also is replete with warnings about false prophets. John MacArthur is currintly doing a series on the radio about pastors and how they must be above reproach. It's quite convicting and applicable for us followers too.
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with you that it’s not a carte blanche that we give to those in leadership. In fact I may edit the post to talk about loyalty to trustworthy leadership. Certainly the lead pastors that I’ve served under have all been trustworthy.
DeleteHi Bob! Thank you for standing by your pastor and him returning favour to you. As a former pastor I love this post so much and rejoice at how pastors working together can be a blessing to each other. My experience was the opposite. I experienced the dark side in my loyalty meaning nothing in the end. Bless you, brother.
ReplyDeleteThank you Alan. So good to be reminded that you were a pastor. Your comment means all the more because you are empathetic to the situation.
Deletewe always spoke highly of all our pastors so that people in town would be open to hear God’s word at church.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wonderful story, Bob. Pastors working together can and do overturn dissenting voices that seek to divide. Such loyalty is so needed today!
ReplyDeleteHi Sandi. You are so right. March-June 2022 seems rife with relational discomfort in churches as peo0ple return to in person gatherings. Calm and loyalty are premium values.
DeleteIt will never cease to amaze me that many in the church don’t recognize that Pastors are people, children of God and sinners saved by grace first and foremost and need even more encouragement and love than they receive. They are part of a team not a solo act. Thanks so much for sharing this, Bob.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon. I think COVID has done a number on our faith communities. We need to relearn how to act decent and get along with people we don't agree with or like. The pandemic is a human tragedy that unfortunately some people won't acknowledge. "Sinners saved by grace."
DeleteBob: Mike Hendrick here...it's because of loyalty like that you made an excellent leader to Central/Northpointe. I still remember my dad helping you guys move to Montreal with this leader.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was always very loyal to his employer and his clients and it showed when he started his own business...his clients came wanting to work with him. I have some people wondering why I am loyal to my pastor, Kenn for nearly 30 years or a 20 year relationship I have with a pastor down in the USA. It's because he never gave up on me. Even when our paths changed and I went different ways for seasons, I kept my heart pure. I wouldn't engage with discruntled people who would try to sow discord. I guess that's what the good book tells us to do and it keeps our heart pure. I still have open doors because of a loyal heart. I think King David patterned that well as he never once accused Saul even if Saul tried to kill him....even in Saul's death David never was disloyal to him and mourned his loss.
So good to hear from you, Michael! We go back nearly 40 years at Lakeshore Church. Your dad was highly respected as a Board member and friend to many. He was loyal to trustworthy authority. He knew how to lead and get along so we could all go along.
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