This month I'd like to share another one of my columns written for the Moose Jaw Express (2011) and also shared on my blog. I have had many God moments in my life both as an individual and as a writer but this particular God moment was and is so poignant for me that I like to share it where I can and this months topic is perfect for it. I loved writing my column and hope to write one again someday; I found it to be the perfect intersecting of those God moments in my life both big and small with my love of writing, giving me the opportunity to share with others. It has been a huge learning curve to learn what to share and what not to, yet with this group, I feel free share to the circumstances surrounding the following crisis and so have made changes that reflect that trust. :)
She was just a little girl of five out in a field full of dandelions. My younger sister used to spend countless hours picking the bright yellow-topped 'weeds' which she would then proudly present to our mother, who would of course place them in a cup full of water to be placed prominently on the table.
Brenda passed away from suicide on a beautiful, spring, sunny day in June of 2004 (on a perfect dandelion picking day) and we, her remaining three sisters, included this memory in her eulogy. To this day I cannot see a field of dandelions without thinking of her and on occasion have been known to pick a fistful for my own table in her memory.
During the grieving period there are many memories that re-surface, some good, some not so good, but all needing to be turned over and over in our minds, before we can finally lay them to rest. It can be a long, emotional journey with many twists and turns in the road, but one that is necessary.
|Brenda at five years old|
My family was no different. There have been all the typical questions of “why?” There were questions about whether she was truly at peace. Questions that often only God sees us struggling with and only He can answer.
One such question was answered for us in a beautiful way one warm, sunny day just a few days after our sister's funeral. My youngest sister was sitting in the stands watching her son play soccer when she noticed a little girl who she had never seen there before, running around. She appeared to be about five years of age and had long, auburn coloured hair, very much like Brenda's used to be. All of a sudden and for no apparent reason the little girl ran up to my sister with a fistful of dandelions, plopped them directly on the bench beside her and ran away.
That was it. It was such a simple, innocent act of a child yet full of meaning for us; dandelions sent from heaven to let us know that she was okay. God knew exactly what we needed and why. Through that incident and others, God has proved to me that He is there around the corners of life. He is there even before I get there and He knows exactly what I am going to need to get through it....even if it’s simply a fistful of dandelions.
Gloria Guest writes from her little log home on the prairies in Caron, Sk., on the subjects of Hope & Faith & Endurance with the aim of encouraging others. You can find her blog at www.gloriaguest.wordpress.com