The Gift of Waiting by Karma Pratt

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 

Psalms 37:7 (NASB)

There is life in the midst of the waiting. In this time, this period of Advent, we wait for the already / not yet Kingdom of God; that place where we live in the midst of the mess and still reach our hands toward the heavenly places. We exist in the tension of the in between, and we try to make the best of our time. 

We make time meaningful by tending to Christmas traditions - sometimes old traditions passed down from one generation to the next, and sometimes new traditions forged in the depths of changing lives and circumstances. As our family has grown, the blending of old and new has come together in a wonderful tapestry of red, green and gold. Christmas colours abound, silver bells ring out, and we all inhale the anticipation and excitement of the big day. 

December 25th has taken on new meaning now that we have kids. We all take turns sneaking candies off of freshly decorated gingerbread houses. We make wish lists for Santa and open doors on advent calendars. We are taking advent to new depths this year with readings from Unwrapping the Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp.

 I had hoped to add a Jesse tree to our daily countdown but life had other plans and I was not able to get myself organized in time. For the first time ever, we have a wee elf on the shelf instead. She adds a new level of excitement to this already exhilarating waiting game. 

Angel the Elf approves of our gingerbread house

Our traditions are an interesting blend of the secular and the sacred. I believe there's room for all of it. As we learn about the wide range of Christmas traditions, we begin to recognize that the Kingdom story is woven throughout. The generosity of Saint Nicholas ("He was a real person!" my daughter explains to me) is applauded even as we search for significance within the Christmas story itself. 

The stars on our tree and in our front window remind us of the star that guided the first worshipers to the Messiah. The red and white striped candy canes do not simply add a delightful crunch to the peppermint bark; their colours also remind us of the blood of the lamb and the grace that washes us white as snow. There are so many layers of meaning to unwrap this Advent.

We wait for the return of the risen King. At Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus, but it's the crucified Son of Man that makes my soul leap within me. This life - the One given for all - this gift is the one I cannot help but be humbled by. My heart beats fast while I concurrently attempt to slow the rhythm of these fast paced days. 

One thing I'm learning in the midst of Advent is that I can't possibly do all the things. I am learning to lean into that which lifts my spirits, and let go of that which adds stress. It's a process. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to wait for the Risen King to return. In the mean time, we honour him with our lives, our love, our hope in the Spirit of giving that exists at Christmas. As faithful servants and honoured guests at God's table, we wait to be poured out like a drink offering, much like Paul (2 Timothy 4:6).

How do you wait? Are you patient in your stillness? Do you "quiet your heart in his presence and pray" as it is written Psalms 37:7a, The Passion Translation? Or are you an inpatient "waiter"? The one who gets up early and shakes all the gifts under the tree, or can't fall asleep to begin with because you're too excited? No matter which way you tend to lean, it is my prayer that this season of Advent would be a positive one for you. I pray you find yourself in the waiting and deepen your relationship with Christ this Christmas season.

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

The Gift of Depression by Karma Pratt

I don't know why. Depression is a strange beast in that there's no "valid" reason for what you're feeling. Feelings of sadness, malaise, lethargy, exhaustion make it difficult to accomplish the simplest tasks. It's like struggling to get out of bed with a soggy, heavy blanket wrapped around your head and shoulders. It's impossible to move and often it feels easier to just lay back down. And it doesn't make any sense.

I have struggled with depression for a long time. For many years I was my own harshest critic, continually blasting myself for not being capable of "pulling myself together." I embraced the "just try harder" mentality and failed at it so often. What a mess. Now I am kinder and gentler to myself. I offer myself the same kind of compassion that I would not hesitate to give another. 

The gift of depression is this: My experiences allow me to come alongside others who are struggling and be present for them. When nothing's making sense, it helps to know that you are not alone.

I've had many ups and downs over the years, but in the fall of 2016 I entered into a spiritual depression, a dark night of the soul. At the time it was very difficult to see past my own inertia. I knew what I needed to do on a day-to-day basis, but had no drive or ability to accomplish even the simplest task. I also knew enough about depression by then to know that I needed outside assistance, and I self-referred for mental health services. It was during this period that I was diagnosed with major depression. 

It took a long time to wade through the darkness, to gain enough strength to toss off that soggy blanket that was burying me. I could not do it on my own. 

When I felt most alone, that's when God was closest. In the midst of my difficulty He was there making a way. He surrounded me with praying, Christ-centered people at a time when I wasn't able to pray for myself. He gave me lifelines to cling to and opportunities to heal. Prophetic words were spoken over my life in that season that I continue to live out. Watching God's grace unfold in your life creates a calm presence that overcomes the darkness. 

Looking back, I believe God planted me in that darkness in order to show me who I am in Him. He needed me to know in my heart that I am His. The road is long and often difficult. The path is uncertain at the best of times. In a world of uncertainty, the one thing worth clinging to is the certainty of our sovereign God. 

The obstacle that once held me captive - depression - has become a way to shine a light for others. I am equipped to come alongside other people and say with complete honesty, "I hear you. I see you. I understand you." Life is hard, but we can do hard things. Together we will continue to lift up those soggy blankets and let the light in. 

I believe it's critically important to know who you are in Christ. Change will be fleeting and insubstantial if you do not know in your spirit that you belong to God. If you struggle with depression, know that you are not alone. There is help to be found. Our temporal problems are no problem for our eternal relationship with Jesus. Repeat after me: "The blood of Christ is in me." 

For by the blood of Christ we are set free, that is, our sins are forgiven. How great is the grace of God - Ephesians 1:7 (GNT)

Struggles and doubts will not cease to be, but we can rest assured that the peace of God is for us too. There's hope to be found in the darkness, and strength to be found in numbers. You are not alone. 

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com 

The Story Behind the Poetry by Karma Pratt

I find myself drawn to poetry. Capturing the rhythm of a moment, finding the cadence and movement of words as they flow down a page, these are things that appeal to my artist's heart. I draw inspiration from events or experiences in my own life, or things that I have witnessed, or even dreamed. I also love listening to others read or perform their poetry. I think this is why I love music so much; it's basically poetry with instruments. 

It wasn't a surprise, then, that I found myself intrigued by the call for submissions for a sweet little book titled Short and Sweet Goes Fourth. This compilation, edited by Susan King and published by Grace Publishing, had one main criteria: "Choose something you're passionate about, then write about it in 250-550 words, using words of only one syllable." 

There were only six exceptions to the one syllable rule: 

1. Proper nouns were okay (California)
2. Polysyllabic words in 5 letters or fewer (only, about)
3. Contractions (wouldn't, couldn't)
4. Numbers (fifteen)
5. Direct quotes (including Bible verses)
6. Words for family members (daughter)

They were looking for non-fiction, fiction and poetry submissions. Aha! My creative brain got excited. I penciled the deadline in my calendar and made a mental note to prepare for this challenge. I love big words and long sentences, so the idea of writing out my ideas in one syllable increments both excited and terrified me. 

The trick with writing poetry is to allow inspiration to guide you. It's not something that can be contrived; it needs to be felt in the moment. When the time is right poetry will flow from the pen like water flowing from a stream. I kept the criteria for this submission in the back of my mind and waited for inspiration to light a fire in me. 

The poem I submitted for consideration is called Fight for Your Life. It's a reflection of where God was guiding me in that season of my life. I found myself dealing with some heavy things at that time, and God was showing me His Truth. He was peeling away many layers of lies and deception that I had believed for a long time. To say I was passionate about the subject matter is an understatement! I was on fire for the revelations God had for me! When the time came to write the words, they came out in a way that honestly spoke to where I was at in my journey. 

One of the things I do when writing is I read, then re-read (countless times!), the work. For this submission, I didn't just read the poem, I read it out loud at my kitchen table. It became a declaration of what I knew God was doing in my life. It became a prayer. And, by reading aloud, I was able to test the cadence and rhythm of the piece. 

I am excited to tell you that my poem was selected as one of the contributions to Short and Sweet Goes Fourth. The book was published in August 2018 and is available on Amazon. What an exciting journey for this poet's heart! 

My next poetry project is a book of original work titled Patchwork Soul. Stay tuned for details! I am putting the finishing touches on it and will be sourcing publication options soon. 

In the mean time, I continue to write as inspiration strikes. May it be the same for you also. 

***

When she's not traveling, Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com.

Overcoming Perfection Paralysis by Karma Pratt

The writing life. Le sigh. It seems so romantic when viewed from a distance. Notions of idyllic settings from which to draw inspiration, dedicated time without interruptions, the peace of God's presence, and the unending flow of all things creative and writerly. Personally, I imagine an ocean view, a desk with zero clutter and time... glorious time.

When it comes to writing, there are many practical elements to take into consideration and the idyllic seems non-existent except, perhaps, within the realm of day dreams. I find that perceptions versus reality can impact my writing in a negative fashion if left unchecked. So, with that in mind, here are a few thoughts on the ways that faith transcends fear and has the potential to create the ideal atmosphere for writing.

Perfection Paralysis

Have you ever suffered from perfection paralysis? That sinking feeling that, if you don't get everything just right then there will be no opportunity to write? If you're like me, this level of perception vs. reality can lead down a path of procrastination at best, and full on paralysis at worst. 

In the past when my to-do list began to overwhelm me, my go-to coping mechanism was to just shut down. I couldn't get past the idea that my to-do list was my purpose. If I wasn't ticking the boxes in a timely fashion, I wasn't achieving my purpose or reaching my goals. If I couldn't "get it right" then I wouldn't do it at all for fear of getting it wrong. 

Oh, boy. Talk about a path of destruction. This type of cyclical thinking can only end in a tornado of tears. Thankfully, God continues to show me a better way daily. 

Passion, Purpose, Peace

There's a method to ending the madness of perfection paralysis. 

I recently started listening to a podcast called Encounter. It's a Christian guided meditation that focuses on daily connection to God through His Word. A recent podcast I listened to is called Discover Your Peaceful Purpose. 

"Ah, how lovely," I thought. "Finally I will learn the secret to mastering my to-do list." 🙂 

Turns out, my peaceful purpose as a writer has much less to do with to-do's and far more to do with to-be's. As in be thankful, be conscious of God's grace in my life, and be ready and willing to follow His call. 

Quite simply, if I turn my focus back to God, the desire to "get it right" falls by the wayside, replaced with the desire to take the next right step to honour God. The to-do list loses its power when I turn to face the One who promises true peace. The pressure releases and I am free to write because I am passionate about following God's call on my life, not because I have finally attained perfection. 

Faith-Filled Writing Life

My faith continues to inform my writing and God keeps helping me take steps to the next level. 

I am stepping out in faith this fall by attending a writer's retreat in Hydra, Greece. 

This God-sized dream is being made possible because I heeded the call in my heart and asked God to help me iron out the details. I am putting in the work and He is showing me the way. 

I do not know what to expect when I get to Greece, but I know that God will meet me there, and I pray expectantly that He will continue to reveal Himself to me in new ways. 

Come to think of it, this trip may just give me a taste of that idyllic, ocean view. At least for a short time I will retreat from the everyday and enter into a focused period of writing and meeting with God. 

I am thankful for the opportunities to let go of my own notions of what's right to write, and I look forward to seeing how God continues to move in this season. May you also be blessed with freedom from perfection paralysis in your writing and your faith journey. 

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

Make a Joyful Noise by Karma Pratt

In our house, we are in a season of living, learning and growing. Everyone is stretching beyond themselves and everyday there are new opportunities to learn something new. This is the incredible blessing of school aged children. They are students and teachers all rolled into one. Of course, not every moment is sunshine and roses. We have many instances of frustration. Angry tears can be just as common as joyful laughter. Overall, though, we are learning to live in the light of thanksgiving. 

My family's sense of fun has informed my writing. Learning to laugh in the moment helps me remember to be present in the everyday. Focusing on one thing at a time helps me set boundaries so that I don't fall down the rabbit hole of multitasking mania. Embracing joy has allowed me to step back from busyness and choose purposeful interactions and connection instead. 

Life is busy, there's no doubt, but I read recently that, “A day is a pocket of possibility and it’s always there, waiting for your willing hand.” - Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way: A Daring Path into the Abundant Life

I am learning how to lean into the joy, how to exchange it for piled up deadlines and pressure that won't stop squeezing. I am learning that the pressures I feel are self-imposed, and the joy I experience comes from learning to let go of the pressure. I am learning that saying, "Yes!" to fun in the sun and backyard playtime allows me to say, "Yes!" to God emphatically and passionately.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 ESV

The love and laughter in our home is the good medicine that allows me to dig into my writing in new ways. Places that I was leery to explore before, are now opening up as new light shines into dark corners. I will likely never be a fiction writer. (would that it were!) Instead, my path is moving in the direction of non-fiction, memoir and poetry. All the joyful interactions in this current season remind me of how far I've come, and what I have to share through words. 

The Apostle Paul ended his letter to the Philippians with this prayer: "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit" (Philippians 4:23). Joy, love and laughter are entry points into God's grace. What a gift!

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

Doing Your Creative Best by Karma Pratt

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Galatians 6:4-5 (The Message) 

I cut these verses out of a pamphlet for a weekend retreat over four years ago and have carried them with me ever since. The Message translation really stood out to me and these verses have guided me as I've traveled the writer's path. 

As Christian writers, we are on call to write the words God gives us in whatever form they may take. This is why it's so important to "make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given..." It takes time to dig deep into the calling on your life. It takes time and dedication. You must commit your life to God, asking Him for clarity, wisdom and discernment. If you are called to create as a writer, God will guide your steps. You, in turn, have to continue taking the next right step as you go. 

The next right step, according to Galatians 6:4 is to "sink yourself into that" (aka the work you've been given). Walking out our faith as writers can take the form of pen to paper, stylus to tablet, or keyboard to screen. No matter what tool you choose, know that you honour God every time you practice your craft. 

The next two sentences just wreck me every time I think of them. 

"Don't be impressed with yourself." In other words, stay humble. There's no need to get big-headed. It's God working in you, not the other way around. Your value as a writer is not determined by numbers of books sold, or amount of engagement on your platform. It's not about you and that's okay. That's exactly as it should be. 

Along that vein, it's not about anyone else either. We are told to not compare ourselves with others. The comparison trap can create doubts in our hearts and minds. We can succumb to the lie that we don't measure up, or that we somehow don't have anything worth contributing. Here's the truth: God gave you a gift and lit a spark inside of you that only you can fan into flame. Your unique experiences have helped shape your writing. It's not necessary to worry about what others may or may not be writing about. Your words are exactly what God wants you to dedicate yourself to.

"Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."

We are called to partner with God in this life, to walk with Him on our journey. The Holy Spirit moves in and through us to guide our creative endeavors. It's up to us to give our best everyday. When we pour out the gifts we've been given, we honour God, and allow Him to multiply our efforts.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than than all we ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. - Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

Patchwork Soul by Karma Pratt

I inherited a purple patchwork quilt when I moved out of our family home. My mom got it from my grandma, and no one is completely sure where she got it from. Someone made it by hand, that much is true. At first glance it doesn't seem to be much to look at. The purple is a light pastel, not the rich royal hue I prefer. Yellow yarn pokes out from the centers of the patterns. It's seen a lot of living, so some of the threads have come out and the patches are beginning to lift. 

This quilt wouldn't win any prizes at the county fair in its current condition. And yet, somehow, it endures. The fabric is soft, so soft from years of use and gentle care. It has adorned beds in many different locations. It has provided comfort in the midst of cold, dark, lonely moments. 

This patchwork quilt, passed down through generations, has much in common with my faith journey and personal relationship with God. Much like the quilt, my patchwork soul is in need of repair. Some of the pieces have come loose over time. Less gentle hands have torn some seams and the hard darkness of life has worn away the edges. 

Paradoxically, it is some of the harshest experiences that have softened me, transforming my heart, mind and soul from the inside out. The very things that seemed too difficult to bear have been reshaped and redeemed under the careful guidance of God's hand. The skilled needlework required to piece me back together has been undertaken by none other than the Great Creator Himself. The result: the multitude of small pieces of cloth - all different designs, colours, textures - are being drawn back together. The frayed edges of my soul are beginning to glow as golden thread is woven together. 

Our experiences have the ability to shape us, but the tapestry God weaves in our lives shapes our faith. When I look back at my life, I can see the ways that God has been working, His golden thread weaving an intricate tapestry into the places I thought were broken. He is both the blanket maker and the blanket, covering me in His grace. He provides the comfort in the darkness, He is the light that overcomes, and He is right there walking with me through all things. 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, 

my God, in whom I trust." 

Surely he will save you

from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers, 

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 

Psalms 91:1-4 (NIV)

Did you ever make a blanket fort when you were a child? In your imagination the walls were fortified; they could withstand any attack. As children of God, we are covered by Him. Even in the dark places of life we dwell in the shelter of the Most High. He is the Creator, expertly weaving a brilliant tapestry from the many variegated elements that make up a life, and He is the protector that covers us in times of need. 

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

In the Footsteps of Paul by Karma Pratt

This Lenten season God has been guiding me in an in-depth study of 2 Timothy. As with all things, God opens the doors of opportunity, and we have to make the choice to walk through. The first door He opened was the opportunity to attend IF: Gathering via a livestream event. IF exists "to equip women with gospel-centered resources, events, and community so they may learn more about who God is and disciple other women right where they are." The two day event was transformational, and opened my eyes and heart to the study of the gospel. It gave me a taste of what was to come. 

The second door he opened was a ladies' Bible Study at my local church. Entrusted, a study by Beth Moore, is focused on 2 Timothy as well. God was lining things up and giving me all the signals I needed to wake up and pay attention! I dove into Entrusted excited for the journey ahead. 

Initially I thought perhaps God wanted to show me how to grow in discipleship like Timothy but, He showed me His intention was to have me follow the apostle Paul, Timothy's teacher, mentor, and trusted friend. As God revealed Himself in the pages of my Bible and the margin notes of my Bible Study, I kept wondering, "Why Paul?" The answers to that question were humbling and awe inspiring. 

Why Paul? 

Before he became known for his dedication to the gospel of Christ, Paul (or Saul, as he was originally known) was a devoted follower and practitioner of Jewish law. A Pharisee by training and ancestry, Saul was educated, privileged, dedicated to his religious roots, and even more dedicated to the persecution of the early Church. His zealousness for the Law made him oblivious to the truth of Jesus Christ initially. Saul was dead set against anyone who dared speak of Jesus. His entry into Biblical narrative is dark indeed, as we find him approving of the stoning death of Stephen (see Acts 7:58 - 8:3) and "breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord" (Acts 9:1-2). 

Saul and I have more in common than I realized. Educated, privileged, experienced in a certain way of walking in the world, blinded by our constructs of humanity. Jesus continues to open my eyes much the same way he opened Saul's: Do you see it yet? The life you are missing out on in lieu of the facsimile you've constructed? Stop living by your rules and learn to live by mine.

It gives me great hope that someone with a heart as dark as Saul's could be saved, redeemed, and become a forerunner for Christ. Saul's conversion breathes hope into my life: heart, mind, body and soul. There is a song by Brandon Heath that says, "give me Your eyes so I can see / everything that I've been missing / give me Your love for humanity." 

I imagine these words were similar to Saul's prayer after his encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. After hearing Jesus' voice and seeing the light from heaven, Saul - now blind - went into a period of prayer and fasting (Acts 9:9). While I can only speculate, I imagine Saul was asking God for wisdom and clarity about what he had just experienced. Perhaps he was praying for healing? While we may never know the exact nature of his prayers during that time, we can see the effects that encounter had on his life. He was changed completely.

The Gift of a Clear Conscience 

When Paul writes to his beloved Timothy he says, "I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day" (2 Timothy 1:3). Paul understood that Jesus' sacrifice on the cross was not just a sin offering, but also a guilt offering. Beth Moore states it beautifully: "Until we let Christ's work on the cross not only save our souls but cleanse our consciences, our own self-destructive tendencies will unwittingly team with the devil to bully us with bouts of mental torment... A guilty conscience... sets you up for self-sabotage." This resonated with me. 

How long have I been hanging on to guilt when Jesus has already paid the price for me? How often have I prayed for grace, but not accepted it when it was freely offered? How many times have I built up the walls of my own prison, instead of becoming a prisoner for the gospel like Paul? 

What's Your Motivation? 

As I continue to study Paul's words, steps and impact on the world, I am drawn to this question: "What's my motivation?" 

I am learning that love is the catalyst that moves us from operating on our own strength to living in Christ and finding strength in God. Good deeds mean nothing without surrender to God's love. Even the best of intentions can go awry if we don't look to God first for guidance, wisdom and discernment. Paul's intention to squash all believers was far from pure. We can see from his own God-breathed words, though, that grace changed Paul. No longer an enemy of the Church, he became one of its greatest advocates, led by God and his own desire to do God's will. Nothing else mattered. 

Grace changed Paul, transforming his life and changing his trajectory. He willingly became an ambassador in chains for the sake of the gospel. He knew Christ personally. This is the greatest joy any of us can ever experience. 

God's inexhaustible grace holds me when I am exhausted, lost, and can't figure out which way to turn. When I am mired in my own selfish thoughts, grace unfolds around me, covering me like a warm blanket. 

Jesus continues to speak through this Lenten season. He breathes life into the Word, and continues to reveal Himself in new ways. He shows up in the small details and the big picture. Knowing Jesus has become my motivation, the only motivation that matters. 

***

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

Mending an Angry Heart by Karma Pratt

Christians are often refined by God before being used by God. God is interested in the condition of our hearts, and it takes a certain amount of personal transformation before God's purpose for your life may be revealed to you. Thankfully, the biggest prerequisites for this transformation are nothing more than a desire to ask God into your heart, and the faith that He will show up to do His part. He will work with what He's given, and miracles will most certainly result. Such was the case in my life. 

Often my prayer has been that of the Psalmist: "Create in me a clean heart, O God; renew a right spirit within me" (Psalms 51:10). Little did I know how that cleaning would occur, or what deep seeded anger God would find there. Of course, this is the beauty and mystery of God: He knew what He would find and was not the least bit surprised. 

I entered into a period of dedicated prayer and fasting recently, believing that God would meet me in the midst of my weakness. I was not disappointed. I lost my temper on day four of a seven day fast. Angry, bitter hearts have a tendency toward impatience and loud outbursts, and my children were the recipients of my wrath on this particular day. As I slumped down on the floor in defeat, ashamed of my failure, God met me there. 

My frustrations were extreme and I know I scared the kids with my volume. My daughter tried to talk to me and I just kept saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got so angry. I'm sorry I yelled at you both. I'm sorry I ruined the day. I'm sorry I am such a failure." 

And there, hanging in the aftermath of those words, was the truth behind my anger. I had failed my family; the people that mean the most to me in the world. The people I am meant to model Christ for. If Godly character is established in examples of what not to do, I was excelling.

That was my final breaking point. I sank down on the kitchen floor crying. I cried because I knew I had failed. I was angry because I had failed. Angry at myself, but taking it out on others. I cried and I prayed, and I heard a voice say, "You had One Job." At first it was very derisive; the tone was mocking. I believed my one job was to care for my family. But then God spoke over all the rest and asked me gently, "What is your one job, Karma?"  And He directed my mind back to a verse in Scripture: Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength (Deuteronomy 6:5).

My one job. It wasn't to get everything right. It wasn't to keep trying harder. It was to love God. Loving God in my life and my home meant loving my children. Loving God meant speaking soft words of encouragement, not spewing harsh vitriol. Loving God meant surrendering my desire to try harder. 

Jesus found me on the kitchen floor in a huddled mess while leaning against the oven. The anger and frustration dissipated and a sense of peace overwhelmed me. 

I had a vision of the end of my rope, dangling into dark nothingness. There was no where left to go. And that's when I finally experienced true surrender to Christ. At my darkest, hardest, and most unlovable moment, God broke through and showed me His way. Yes, it is my responsibility to care for my family and our home. But God has been telling me to quit trying and let Him take the lead. Finally, finally, I was able to let go. And when I asked how to love Him best, He showed me the faces of my son and daughter. 

In that moment, I moved from trying to trusting, from doing to being. As I let go of the rope, the Spirit of God reached down and caught me in His everlasting love. I knew, going forward, that my life was changed. I had moved from attempting self-sufficiency to relying fully on Jesus to be my strength in every circumstance.

That moment on the kitchen floor did more than renew and repair my relationship with my children. It broke open my heart in a way that I had not experienced before. An act of true surrender will allow God to move in your life in ways that He was hindered before. In the gap between physical reality and mystical reality, I was learning what it meant to truly "live Christ everyday". 

That day also opened up more than my heart. It helped me realize my purpose as a Christ follower and servant of God. I felt more freedom to be a light in the darkness. God had broken the chains of anger, and of fear, that had held me back for so long. Having been refined by God, I was better prepared to be a light in the world.

____

Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com

Intentional Heart by Karma Pratt

Last year there was a definitive reshaping of my life and perspective (an ongoing adjustment, I'm sure!) As we enter into a new year, I feel God is moving me into a new season. If 2017 was a season of being planted, 2018 is the time to take root. The seeds have germinated, and the garden requires tending. No longer do I feel like a seed buried deep in the earth; rather I am surfacing, gentle green tendrils unfurling in the sunlight. This is a time to dwell, grow, and bloom. 

Dwelling in the Lord requires dedication to the discipline of reading His Word and spending time in prayer. The more time I spend with God, the more likely I am to pick up on the subtleties of His messages. God speaks to me through my journaling and writing, Bible reading and devotional time. He speaks in dreams, and when I enter into listening prayer. He makes His presence known in moments of connection with family and friends. His gardener skills are nowhere more noticeable to me than when I ask for guidance in my interactions with others. I find myself continually praying for the ability to show peace, patience and kindness to others. The Gardener is shaping the fruits of my spirit and there is still a lot of pruning to do! 

The book of Acts tells the story of Simon the Magician, who has been recently baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus (see Acts 8:9-24). Simon, new to the ways of the Christian walk, is steeped in the realm of the worldly. He sees the magnificence of the Holy Spirit in action, and tries to purchase this power from the apostles. Peter rebukes him, saying, "You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is not right before God. Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you" (Acts 8:21-22 ESV). 

One of the words God has put on my heart for 2018 is intention. I am called to become conscious of the intent of my heart before acting. Setting the intention to do small things with great joy propels the everyday actions of an ordinary life into the realm of extraordinary grace. Likewise, I pray to God to transform and heal this heart so that my intentions reflect the love and light of Christ.

I am also called to look back - not to ruminate on the past - but to honour the path I have traveled and the ways that God has met me, shaped me and transformed me. Looking back to find Jesus in the picture helps me reshape my perspective. Memories and circumstances that were once overwhelming shift in the light. As I seek the face of Emmanuel, I find hope: He has always been there, I just haven't always seen it.

The deeper I dig into life as a Christ follower, the more I feel the call to live an apostolic life. Can you imagine the pioneering spirit required to develop a heart for such discipleship? To persist in faith through any and all trials? And yet, the journey is predominantly an inward excursion. I don't believe I am meant to drop everything and head out on international missions right this moment. (Maybe someday?) Rather, God is guiding me to develop an apostolic spirit while continuing to "bloom where I am planted". In the spirit of blooming, I am currently writing a book of poetry and taking the initiative to enter more writing contests this year. I am stepping out in faith, and trusting that the words I write will make their way to the people God intended. 

And, so, I dig into this new season. I cultivate an intentional heart. I tend to my life: husband, kids, home, friends, this tender heart's needs. I find God in the ordinary details of this extraordinary life. I make time to write. I seek connection and fellowship, while creating space for alone time with Jesus. I lift my face to the Son and raise my hands high in praise and thanksgiving. I continue to grow. 

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Karma writes from the golden house in Northeastern BC. You can connect with her online at redraincoatcreations.com