September 19, 2021

No more ordinary By Vickie Stam

At the time it just seemed like an ordinary thing to do - you reach a stage in your life that everyone refers to as retirement. We had no idea what that would look like. Only a few days into this phase my husband, Tony, became instinctively aware that being a farmer was in-fact his life. "If this is retirement, it sucks!" He said.

The memory of that moment is still vivid. The look on his face was shrouded with doubt. Should I have retired? We felt a relief when the last of our pigs went off to market and yet an unexpected moment of grief had closed in on him. 

We washed and cleaned the barn. It was spic and span!We looked around with pride at all that we had accomplished and we felt free. But the very next day we realized that our lives were anything but ordinary. The routine we were comfortable with was gone. No more early morning. No more set times. No more would Tony have to listen to me singing, "It's Just Another Manic Monday." 

Monday mornings started at 4:00 am. Hogs needed to be loaded on a transport for market. The chance that everyone of them would willingly board the truck was  wishful thinking. The times that we struggled, we remained calm. We worked well together. 

Retiring unveiled a number of new directions in our lives with many forks in the road. More than we imagined. We moved a few times trying to find our desired location, searching for a place that would bring us closer to our church and volunteer commitments. We even experienced one of our closest friends abruptly remark, "can't you people ever get settled?" At first his words stung. But we knew that we didn't have to settle. God gave us many opportunities along the way. He opened doors for mission work and other volunteer opportunities. We don't have to stay in one spot. 

We have the ability to travel, a longing to help people and we enjoy working together. We have no regrets about the decisions we have made over the past six years. There's a great big world out there! We don't always know what we'll do today, tomorrow or even next year. Our ordinary routine no longer exists. 

Tony and I find joy in the things that our friends might not. That's what makes people different or even - extraordinary. Who knows we might even move again. We're always open to possibilities, challenges and new beginnings. 

13 comments:

  1. Thank you Vickie for this post ... I connected to this concept of the retirement challenges. As you said, "Our ordinary routine no longer exists." There can be such comfort in routine, but isn't there a delight in finding new adventures? Thanks for this!

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    1. I love meeting people and hearing their stories. Being comfortable is always a good feeling but finding new levels of comfort can be very rewarding as well.

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  2. Dear Vickie, I think you're spot on in understanding it's more than okay not to settle in one spot.
    God hasn't called us to necessarily settle, He's called us to sojourn with Jesus.
    Blessings on your adventures in Christ. 🕊️

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  3. I guess I'm just lazy as I'm eagerly looking forward to not writing and keeping track of my daily activities. God has blessed me with so much that I'm eager to enjoy what he's given me. I look forward to doing what I want and when I want to do it.

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    1. That's not lazy at all. We all enjoy doing what we want after a life of commitments and time restraints. I hope you do take the opportunity to follow through on the things you're looking forward to doing.

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  4. Wow! I instantly connected to Tony's feelings upon retirement! I 'retired' from teaching public school in 2018. Not only was I a teacher, but I was "The Drama Teacher"... For twenty years I put so much of myself into two huge productions each and every year. I didn't realize that "Drama Teacher" was a major part of my identity. It was HUGE. So when I retired, I felt this deep loss - not because of the work itself necessarily, because even though it was fulfilling, I was tired and didn't have that kind of energy anymore. But I realized I was no longer "Drama Teacher". That wasn't my identity anymore and it took me a while to reconcile my feelings over that. Recognizing it was a huge help.

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    1. Very well said and honest. Our work in life has such an impact on our identity that we definitely grieve. We understand that feeling. Because we farmed together, we retired the same day -together. That was too was extraordinary.

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  5. Hi Vickie! I retired a couple years earlier than I hoped but it's going well, for the most part. I use the term, "retirement" sparingly. I devote more time than I could before to writing. One of our Deacons at church asked me, "Do chaplains ever really retire?" He caught me with the question. I had to reply in my case, I have never completely retired. One of my major projects right now is developing a volunteer pastoral care visitation ministry for our church. I love it! Keep on going where God leads you and Tony for as long as you can, my friend.

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    1. Chaplain or not, your love and compassion for people is who you are. You are one of the few people whose work, character and ability, along with other attributes are intertwined and are never really severed.

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  6. Great post that many can relate to.You might enjoy Cynthia Ruchti & Becky Melby's new book, "Spouse in the House."

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  7. Thanks Terri. Sounds like an interesting read.

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  8. Thanks for sharing your retirement story, Vickie. Like you, I discovered that "Retiring unveiled a number of new directions in our lives with many forks in the road." God has a purpose for us in retirement, sometimes more effective than in our earlier years!

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