Sleep Apnea
The
first sound I hear every morning after I turn off my C-PAP machine is the
breathing of my beautiful darling, my wife. We have hugged and snuggled for
over forty-two years. Many of those years included my snores every night. Readers
might ask, “So what? Sounds like this post is going to be a yawner.” Well, let
me explain.
In May
2020, tests at a local sleep clinic concluded I have a condition called extreme
obstructive sleep apnea. The diagnosis freed me from almost sleepless nights
for over thirty years. Since my diagnosis, I realize how brutal this condition
is on one’s body, mind, and heart. I realize I am wounded.
Until my
diagnosis, I never heard of “obstructive sleep apnea.” I had heard of “sleep
apnea,” but not the “extreme obstructive” type. My Respiratory Therapist at the
sleep clinic has educated me on the damage obstructive sleep apnea can cause. This
condition is harsh, but the education I have received about it makes sense now
regarding what I have suffered with for decades.
Adaptive Creativity
There are consequences because of sleep apnea. My biggest adaptation, at least for now, is to accept I have memory and concentration challenges. These challenges are common for people with obstructive sleep apnea. Believe me, this is not fun, but one can adjust and adapt life to these temporary challenges.
I,
therefore, welcome adaptive creativity. I used to enjoy researching writing
projects and working on them for days at a time. Now my concentration, at least
for now, is good for about two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon. I
need a break in between or else my mind sees too many “shiny things,” my mind
wanders.
In my
life as a writer, I have embraced adaptive creativity via poetry. I find poetry
is easier to focus on. While concentration continues to be a struggle, I can
write at least one poem draft per week. I turned to poetry in hopes not only to
sharpen my writing skills but also aid in my concentration.
My major
writing project this year is my book of poetry I call, Plant Them A Garden:
A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith, and Poetry. I hope to have the book
published this year. I am happy to say I am learning a lot about poetry as this
project takes shape. I must persevere and increase my concentration at the same
time to bring this project to fruition.
Extreme
obstructive sleep apnea caused me to put my life on pause. I saw a need to step
back from my writing and evaluate where I want to focus. I mean as a writer,
not to write means not to breathe. Well, I love to write and I’m super in love
with the ability to breathe.
My
journey with extreme obstructive sleep apnea continues, but not as severe as it
has been. I thank God I still have an ability to write. I also thank God for
InScribe and writer friends. Thank you for a place even wounded writers know
they are safe.
PS: No
more snoring!
Alan lives in Deroche, B.C. with his wife, Terry. He contributed
stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope Publishing, 2017 and Story by Story:
The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers Publishing, 2018. Alan has also
written articles for FellowScript Magazine. Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca. Alan
is the Provincial Rep. Liaison and BC Rep for InScribe.
https://scarredjoy.ca/
Good morning, Alan! I am glad you are now getting the rest you need. Your ability to continue writing sounds like it has been challenging at times but you have found ways to adapt. That truly is a blessing as is finding a diagnosis. Your poetry is beautiful and I look forward to reading more of it. Keep on writing and hugging your precious wife, Terry!
ReplyDeleteHi Vickie! Thank you for commenting here, my friend. Yes, the diagnosis in a way freed me from knowing something was not right, but not having a clue what it is. Even my doctor became frustrated and only then referred me to a specialist. From there I had my diagnosis after two visits to the sleep clinic. My journey to poetry has been a surprise but I enjoy it indeed. I'll be in touch, Vickie. Hugs to you.
DeleteThankful that you now have an ongoing solution to your very difficult problem. Praise God. (For some reason the story of the woman with the issue of blood comes to mind as she waited many years as well) It is wonderful that you have also discovered joy in poetry. Thanks for this post that gives hope to all wounded writers, as I think we all are to some degree ....perhaps. Blessings to you this day.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon! My transition to poetry has been an enjoyable one. I am aware I have a lot to learn about poetry. I also know I enjoy poetry. In a sense it's like I can breathe easier in poetry world. I still love my other genres but poetry is where I am, at least for now. Yes, I think a lot of writers relate to the term, "wounded." WE can encourage each other in spite of this. :) Blessings to you as well, Sharon.
DeleteI didn’t realize that Sleep Apnea could be so destructive. I’m glad you’re getting some help and that you’re able to adapt and continue writing. 👍
ReplyDeletePam M
Hi Pam! Yes, I didn't realize how destructive sleep apnea can be either.
DeleteAccording to my Resp. Therapist, the extent of my condition indicates I have had sleep apnea for over thirty years. If I had known what what going on I would not have retired two years earlier than I did. I couldn't go on, however, with the daily exhaustion that had become a regular part of life. Now I can sleep anywhere from five to eight hours a night. Wow, amazing!
I laughed at your opening zinger "Sounds like this post is going to be a yawner." Good one! laughing aside, I am glad you are finding relief. I had not idea sleep apnea could be so destructive.
ReplyDeleteHi Tracy! My sense of humour is intact. Terry tells me about events or conversations we have had together or with each other. I don't always remember the details so I will ask her, "Did I like this or that?" We laugh about these things, but I truly can't remember. I find it a weird space to be in but look for the humour. :) Never fear, my friend, I remember our meeting at our InScribe conference with great fondness. :)
DeleteI also have sleep apnea but I have anxiety issues with the CPAP machine. My adaptive solution is to sleep on my side.
ReplyDeleteI love the honesty and acceptance of this group. Nobody is chastised for having a disability or liking things which some church folks used to believe was of the Devil.
Hi Bruce! I feel for you in your sleep apnea and anxiety journey. I'm sure this comes with its unique challenges. Yes, you are right, to sleep on one's side helps. I hear you on that. This is indeed a wonderful group. Bruce, you are in my prayers, my friend. Take care. Blessings to you.
DeleteChuckling a bit at myself as I respond...If I knew, I had forgotten that sleep apnea affects the memory. This is an ongoing challenge for me. I was diagnosed a few years ago and while sleep is better and snoring no longer an issue, I appreciate your reminder that cognitive abilities are impacted by severe sleep apnea. It does add stress when not yet retired and I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me. Also relate to limited hours of optimal functioning each day. Indeed requires creativity in adapting. Thanks for sharing as we journey on this road in our still-being-redeemed-and-restored pilgrimage.
ReplyDeleteHi Barb! Thanks for the understanding comment. Creative adaptivity helps a lot. I hope you don't go too long without relief from your sleep apnea.
DeleteSorry to hear you have this health challenge of obstructive sleep apnea and its complication of fatigue and memory problems, Alan. I am happy, however, that you’ve been diagnosed and are getting treatment and, perhaps, some counselling to go with it. I admire your creative adaptability of switching your emphasis to writing poetry, which it seems can be done in shorter time periods. I see you are writing with your same determination, Alan, but wisely adapting your genre and time. Your themed book of poetry sounds very intriguing, but you still write a good blog!
ReplyDeleteHi my friend! Thank you for your encouragement. Through the wise and caring words of my Respiratory Therapist I have found meaning in this condition. :) Thank you also for your support of my new writing genre. By the way, what is the nationality of your name, "Unknown? :) Just kidding!
ReplyDelete