Sleep Apnea
The
first sound I hear every morning after I turn off my C-PAP machine is the
breathing of my beautiful darling, my wife. We have hugged and snuggled for
over forty-two years. Many of those years included my snores every night. Readers
might ask, “So what? Sounds like this post is going to be a yawner.” Well, let
me explain.
In May
2020, tests at a local sleep clinic concluded I have a condition called extreme
obstructive sleep apnea. The diagnosis freed me from almost sleepless nights
for over thirty years. Since my diagnosis, I realize how brutal this condition
is on one’s body, mind, and heart. I realize I am wounded.
Until my
diagnosis, I never heard of “obstructive sleep apnea.” I had heard of “sleep
apnea,” but not the “extreme obstructive” type. My Respiratory Therapist at the
sleep clinic has educated me on the damage obstructive sleep apnea can cause. This
condition is harsh, but the education I have received about it makes sense now
regarding what I have suffered with for decades.
Adaptive Creativity
There are consequences because of sleep apnea. My biggest adaptation, at least for now, is to accept I have memory and concentration challenges. These challenges are common for people with obstructive sleep apnea. Believe me, this is not fun, but one can adjust and adapt life to these temporary challenges.
I,
therefore, welcome adaptive creativity. I used to enjoy researching writing
projects and working on them for days at a time. Now my concentration, at least
for now, is good for about two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon. I
need a break in between or else my mind sees too many “shiny things,” my mind
wanders.
In my
life as a writer, I have embraced adaptive creativity via poetry. I find poetry
is easier to focus on. While concentration continues to be a struggle, I can
write at least one poem draft per week. I turned to poetry in hopes not only to
sharpen my writing skills but also aid in my concentration.
My major
writing project this year is my book of poetry I call, Plant Them A Garden:
A Reflective Work of Grief, Faith, and Poetry. I hope to have the book
published this year. I am happy to say I am learning a lot about poetry as this
project takes shape. I must persevere and increase my concentration at the same
time to bring this project to fruition.
Extreme
obstructive sleep apnea caused me to put my life on pause. I saw a need to step
back from my writing and evaluate where I want to focus. I mean as a writer,
not to write means not to breathe. Well, I love to write and I’m super in love
with the ability to breathe.
My
journey with extreme obstructive sleep apnea continues, but not as severe as it
has been. I thank God I still have an ability to write. I also thank God for
InScribe and writer friends. Thank you for a place even wounded writers know
they are safe.
PS: No
more snoring!
Alan lives in Deroche, B.C. with his wife, Terry. He contributed
stories to Good Grief People by Angel Hope Publishing, 2017 and Story by Story:
The Power of a Writer, Unstoppable Writers Publishing, 2018. Alan has also
written articles for FellowScript Magazine. Blog: https://scarredjoy.ca. Alan
is the Provincial Rep. Liaison and BC Rep for InScribe.
https://scarredjoy.ca/
