It's been a very topsy-turvy summer. My "baby" turns eighteen today, and I am feeling the throes of "letting go" once again and letting the last of my children fly from the safety and confinement of the nest into the world. You know what that means, don't you?...
Empty Nest Syndrome
Well, not sure it's appropriate to be called a syndrome yet, but I am certainly feeling the emptiness of the house with just my husband and I rattling around in it. We moved our youngest into seminary residences only a few days ago, and even though she only lives minutes from our home, every time I walk by her room, I feel a pang of loss.
We bought this acreage and house, just north of Cochrane, Alberta, when my son was only a toddler, and my oldest daughter was just a child. Our baby was born a year after and this house has, for close to twenty years, been filled with birthday party celebrations, pool parties, and youth activities. It seems so silent all of a sudden.
Someone said to me that once the kids move out I'll have plenty of time to write. Wow. I wish I could feel some comfort from that statement, but I haven't been able to write all summer. Oh, I blog a bit but my heart hasn't been into sitting down and completing that manuscript that beckons to me every once in a while, taunting me with its incompleteness.
And amazingly to say...I'm okay with it.
A Christian writer knows that there is a "season for everything". I have to adapt to this next season of life for me now without kids in the house everyday. I plan on taking a couple of months to establish a new routine, a new normality if you will, for my days. Certainly that manuscript may be added onto in the months ahead but right now the focus is connecting with my husband like I did BC (Before Children), and settling into my new Empty Nest role gracefully.
Thankfully my kids know that they are just a text message away from their Mama, and my baby even has my permission to bring over her laundry weekly and I'll even wash it all for her; I won't even grumble about it.
Wow, things really HAVE changed!
Lynn Dove calls herself a Christ-follower, a wife, a mom, a grandmother, a teacher and a writer (in that order). She is the author of award winning books: The Wounded Trilogy. Her blog, Journey Thoughts won a Canadian Christian Writing Award - 2011. She has also had essays published in "Mother of Pearl: Luminous Lessons and Iridescent Faith" and "Chicken Soup for the Soul - Parenthood" (March 2013), (Sept. 2013) and O Canada The Wonders of Winter: 101 Stories about Bad Weather, Good Times, and Great Sports (Nov. 2013). Readers may connect with Lynn on Facebook, Twitter and on her blog: Journey Thoughts
For all the topsy-turvy, I do get a sense from your post that this is also an exciting time for you... as you shift gears, take that deep breath, and find the graceful rhythm of that new normal.
ReplyDeleteloved your article, I have been going through this myself over the past couple of years. It is an ajustment!
ReplyDeleteI've been away for the past month, and am edging my way into normal activities at home again. It's such a pleasure to return to Inscribe and read your honest description of this change in your life. And it surely is a big adjustment...I have been there too. May God bless you on your trail of new discoveries!
ReplyDeleteLynn I feel your 'pain' although I must say when my youngest FINALLY moved out I was dancing a jig in happiness... he moved back twice, and then his sister moved back for eight months, and then my son in law moved in for six months... Just when I think I have the house to myself it seems the revolving door spins again! I'm not really complaining, though. I think it made the transition to empty nest easier in the long run.
ReplyDeleteI also love your thoughts on 'seasons'. I believe this is so true and we should just embrace each one as it comes and not 'beat ourselves up' about it. Not writing doesn't mean you aren't still productive...
Thanks for the encouragement all! As much as the house seems so quiet, yesterday as we celebrated my daughter's 18th as a family and I had all my children in the house for several hours, there was noise, noise, noise...
ReplyDeleteI will admit when they left, my husband and I sort of liked the quiet again! :)