Why Loyalty Is Your Best Friend by Bob Jones

 

“You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.” Tommy Lasorda, LA Dodgers

 

“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” Mario Puzo

 

Loyalty. Aside from faithfully carrying out my responsibilities in the first month of my first pastoral role, that’s the only expectation my senior pastor placed on me.

 

Fresh out of Bible College, newly married, and grateful to have a paying job, why would I not be loyal to the man who gave me a chance? Besides, loyalty is easy when there is respect for a trustworthy leader and her or his experience. I was the rookie. He was the veteran. He was easy to work with, an example of dedicated faith, had a great sense of humour, his three sons respected him, and his wife was devoted to him.

 

We worked hard, saw men and women make decisions to follow Jesus, and the church grew. He gave me opportunities to lead and experience ministry, didn’t overreact when I made mistakes or fell short of excellence.

 

About a year into our experience, I received a call from a man in the church that I respected. He wanted to know if I was interested in going with him and his friends to a Major League baseball game in a neighbouring city. He didn’t have to ask twice! That would be my first time in a storied ballpark to see a team I cheered for as a kid.

 

During the drive to the game the conversation turned from baseball to our church. Did I feel over-worked? Did I feel our pastor was doing a good job? Did I have any concerns about his leadership? Do you see yourself as a senior pastor? No. Yes. No. No, why would I? The conversation turned in another direction and the subject never came up again that night. The baseball game and the stadium were fantastic. The days ahead were not. That was the last game I was invited to.

 

Not too long after that night our lead pastor called me into his office. He explained that some of the members were upset with him. They had drafted a petition for a vote of confidence on his leadership. There would be a “meeting.” Did I know anything about that? No. Who would do that kind of thing? Turns out there was more than a baseball game going on that night a few weeks back.

 

He asked my wife and I not to attend the meeting. This was one pastoral experience he didn’t want us to have. The confidence vote failed. He could stay. However, eight months later he accepted a pastoral role in another province. He thanked me for my loyalty and asked if I would be willing to come with him as his assistant. We readily said, yes. I remember his surprised look and then a smile and a tear.

 

We worked together for a total of ten years in two churches over thirty years ago. We stay in touch. My loyalty is still to him. Always will be. Both of us are aged now, with no regrets.

 

My situation didn’t become an ethical dilemma, but I wonder if that’s because all I wanted to do was be loyal.

 

I write to grow hope, inspire people to be real, forge an authentic faith in Jesus, and discover their life purpose.

Please follow my writing at REVwords.com

I would love to hear from you.

 

 

Ethical Dilemma - A Matter of Choice by Ramona Furst

"Art, like writing, can be so frustrating," I thought as I trashed my third attempt of a sketch. "What am I missing? I love the challenge of faces. The planes, angles, contours, the tonal values..."

I studied the photograph from an upside-down position, noting how the shadows of my daughter's face accentuated her cheekbones."That's it," I thought, "I need to work first on the shadowy areas of the face, then move to the darker angles much like an abstract." As I picked up a pencil something within me whispered, "Nothing's ever black or white."

"Ramona, is that you? It's hard to know for sure with your mask on." Stepping away from the shelves lined with kidney and lima beans I didn't recognize the masked gray-haired woman standing two meters away from me, but I recognized her voice. "Joan! I haven't seen you in years. How are you?"

 We reminisced about how she founded an organization in the 1980's for clients who were terminally ill and how her volunteers assisted family members with their loved ones who were dying in the hospital or at home. "Do you remember," Joan asked as she pushed the mask back up and under her glasses, "your interview for the position to teach 'Orientation to Palliative Care' so we would have enough volunteers to help with our growing caseload?"

"I remember being nervous, hoping I answered all the hypothetical scenarios correctly. When you later offered me the teaching position, I often wondered why you chose me."

By now we had left the aisle of tinned foods and found ourselves walking towards frozen pie crusts and pizzas. "Yes," Joan replied, "I saw you struggle to keep your personal opinions to yourself even when family members or a dying patient asked, "What do you think?" You wanted everyone to have the best death possible and it broke your heart when you couldn't fix the families' emotional problems or the messy death some clients experienced and all the while making sure you handled things professionally. You cared. "

"And I remember. Joan, what you would say to all of us in your tiny office after one of our clients had died. It's their story and journey not ours."

"Do you remember what you said to your students hoping you'd see it remembered and written down in their journals?"

While I closed my now open mouth, Joan laughed saying, "Yes, I often read your students' homework assignments and take-home exams. You were quoted to have said, "Nobody knows the whole story, and nothing is ever black and white. You would tell them about the elderly couple who had been married for sixty-five years. Both of them were suffering from two very different diseases. You had earned their trust and they wanted you to 'help' them die together at home."

Yes, I remembered how miraculously my shifts were changed and I never had to care for this couple again after our conversation. God released me from my need to say anything. And yes, there will always be people who are suffering or have a terminal illness. Christians will reach different conclusions on whether or not they wish to support assisted dying, but the Christian gospel of God's love transcends all such discussions. As Paul said to the church in Rome,

 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 (NRSVA).

Ramona Furst lives with her husband in Northern Ontario. She facilitated a bereavement support group for fifteen years, taught Orientation to Palliative Care for ten years giving input for the program's "Biomedical Ethics" module for students.  

When God Frees Us from an Ethical Dilemma by Sandi Somers

Image by curtlandry.com

When I was taking an online writing course, the instructor asked us to critique each others’ articles, pairing us in sequence as to when we posted our finished assignments (#1 with #2; #3 with #4, etc). I posted mine the evening of the deadline. Later, I looked at the sequence. I was #8, and Jeremy (a pseudonym) was #7. I read his article and discovered it was soft porn. “Oh no!” I said. I had inadvertently placed myself in an ethical dilemma.

I wondered: How could I in all conscience justifiably critique his article? I knew he was an excellent writer stylistically and creatively, and I could give supportive comments in these areas. But how could I as a Christ-follower address his content?  How could I even honour my Lord in this situation? I went to bed that night with the question still heavy on my mind.

 Next morning I opened my course information to my instructor’s pairing. I was surprised! She had departed from her usual sequence and had partnered me instead with another writer whose theme and topic were similar to mine.

 God had graciously stepped in and honoured my need and desire for integrity.

 When I look back on that experience, I think of the verse: “I removed the burden from her shoulders” (Psalm 81:6) I know that God sometimes asks us to confront an ethical dilemma head-on. But sometimes He changes the situation and we don’t have to deal with it at all. We’re free. And our response is to thank and honour Him in return.

  

A Matter of Conscience by Marcia Lee Laycock

    A Matter of Conscience by Marcia Lee Laycock

                                                   Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

I read the notice with rising interest and excitement. There were grants available for writers in Alberta! Really? The government would pay me to write? I clicked on the icon and began reading. It didn’t take long for me to decide I needed to print out the information so I could absorb it more readily.

The printer was almost done when my husband arrived home from a ministerial meeting. I knew the pastors in our area were discussing an important issue that would have a serious effect on our community, so I stepped out of my office to greet him.

“How did it go?”

“Well, pretty well I guess. Everyone’s on board, but no one stepped up to spearhead the initiative, so I guess it’s going to be me.”

I knew having another thing on his agenda was not what he wanted right now, but I also knew that he was passionate about doing whatever he could to slow or perhaps even stop the installation of video lottery terminals (VLT’s) in the hotels and bars in our town. We’d seen the devastating effects of gambling addiction. The idea of our government sanctioning the terminals that would make it even easier to fall into that addiction was high on our list of things to fight against.

“How about you? How was your day?”

I remembered the document I’d just printed out and explained that I was pretty excited about it. “From what I’ve read so far, I think I might qualify.”

He smiled and nodded but I could tell the other topic was heavy on his mind and heart. I headed for the kitchen. A hearty lunch and a good cup of tea might help.

It was a couple of days before I found the time to read that document about writers’ grants. My excitement built again as I read and ticked off the criteria for applying. Then I read the ‘fine print,’ and my excitement was quickly dampened. Part of the funding for these arts grants came from gambling proceeds collected by the government. I groaned and almost tossed the sheets of paper into the recycle bin. I stared at them for some time before placing them on the corner of my desk. I’ll have a look again later, I thought.

A few weeks went by. My husband was interviewed by local media, both print and radio, about the problem with VLTs, explaining that though it looked like the money raised would stay in the community, the opposite was true. He detailed the devastating effects of gambling that got out of control, telling the story of a friend who had lost his home and his family because of the addiction. It noted that it seemed ironic that part of the government’s plan was to set up more facilities that would deal with gambling addiction, while still installing more and more terminals.

As time went on we began to realize that we were fighting an uphill battle that we probably would not win. But we kept trying. My husband gave one last interview just before the first VLT was installed in a local hotel. On that same day I found that pile of paper that detailed the opportunity for writers to acquire grants for pursuing their careers.

I mentioned my dilemma to a writer friend. She did not seem to understand. “Why not redeem that money?” she asked. “You’ll be using it to promote the gospel, so I wouldn’t worry about where it came from.”

I could see her point of view. Truth be told, I wanted to agree. But as I prayed about it, something niggled at the back of my mind. How could I accept money that came from the very thing my husband had campaigned against? What if someone discovered that I had received one of these grants and pointed a condemning finger, accusing us of hypocrisy? Christians were often ‘called out’ for such things and I knew how damaging it could be to a person’s Christian witness in a community. As a pastor’s wife it could be even more serious.

In the end I tossed the document into the recycle bin. As I walked away, I felt the burden lift. The money would have been nice, but I knew God would provide in other ways. My conscience was clear and I could now focus on doing the work He had called me to do.

****

 Learn more about Marcia's writing, teaching, and speaking ministries on her website.