I Want To Go Home by Bob Jones

No matter how successful you are success doesn’t grant you immunity from humanity. We all have days when we want to wave the white flag and call it quits.

 

There was a white-flag-day I’ll never get out of my head. And I wouldn't have it any other way. It happened in August 1979 in Attawapiskat, Ontario.

 

My new bride and I honeymooned as volunteer missionaries in Canada’s north. Any woman who endured what Jocelyn did is a good wife. Let me just state for the record that I found a gem. We lived for a couple weeks in Sachigo Lake, 643km north of Thunder Bay, Ontario.  Our second stop was Fort Severn on Hudson Bay. The third destination was Attawapiskat - an isolated First Nation located at the mouth of the Attawapiskat River on James Bay.

 

Everything about our experience felt foreign even though I never left the province of my birth. Each location was accessible solely by air. Jocelyn learned to use a washboard to clean our clothes. Our daily meals consisted of the bannock I learned to make using a Coleman stove. No TV, radio, Tim Horton's or movie theatres. We never settled into using outhouses, snaring rabbits or understanding Ojibwa or Cree.

 

By our third stop we were exhausted and sick. Hard work was familiar to us but we weren’t prepared for the strain of weeks of Day Camp meetings for children and church services for adults each night. And the evening services would sometimes last for three hours.

 

“I want to go home.” When your bride says that, you know the honeymoon is over. Our marriage was under the threat of never getting to our 3^rd month anniversary. Only a few children came to our Day Camp in Attawapiskat. Try as we might to encourage people to attend our evening services the only residents who came near the building were there to throw rocks. Literally. We felt soul weary.

 

The last straw was burning my hand on the potbellied stove trying to fry eggs. I walked to the Hudson Bay depot, called the missions director and told him we were done. Please, could we just go home. He graciously arranged for us to leave on the next flight out.

 

As we waited at the landing strip for our plane, one of the residents approached us and asked why we were leaving. “No one is interested in what we’re offering and so we’re going home.”

 

What he said next shocked us.

 

“You are exactly who we need here. You shouldn’t be leaving. We need you.”

 

My first thought was, “Where were you when we needed you?”

 

As we mulled over his comment, the plane landed, we boarded, buckled into our seats and were soon in the air looking down with regret on a failed assignment. 

 

It dawned on us that we quit too soon. We started with the intent of finishing. Quitting was a quick way out of being discouraged, sick and tired. By the time the plane landed we came to the conclusion that it's always too soon to quit. IATSTQ

 

We had no idea how the phrase “It’s always too soon to quit” would save us in many more discouraging seasons. Through forty years of pastoral work we kept going when everything inside of us was screaming “Quit!” There is a big difference between finishing and quitting and we determined that by God’s grace we would be finishers, not quitters. As a result leaders were formed, disciples were made, a congregation was relocated to a developing community and a come-as-you-are church is still reaching the skeptics, the used-to-believe and those who are far from God.

 

So much of what Jocelyn and I accomplished in pastoral ministry was because of that first failed assignment and learning that it’s always too soon to quit.

 

Word of the Year Review by Susan Barclay

photo by Charlemagne (Pixabay)

In my January 4th post I shared that my word for 2020 was "centre." I shared the sentiment that by "[centring] my life and thoughts on Christ, I [would] also be ready for whatever comes my way." 

I wonder if any of us could really be ready for what 2020 has brought? A global pandemic, violence and chaos in the streets (especially in the U.S.), an election year (also in the U.S., but the outcome of which will ripple around the world). I don't think anything short of a prophet whose reliability had been tested and proven true could have prepared us for the waters we've been passing through corporately.

photo by wjstokhof0 (Pixabay)

I recently said to my husband that the only good thing that has happened this year was our trip at the end of February/beginning of March, just before the pandemic hit and everything started to shut down. Although, prior to our coach and cruise vacation, I'd been doing a pretty good job of centring, starting my day with the songs Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus and As the Deer Pants for the Water, and spending time in God's Word. I'd continued my practice of scripture writing, using the SOAP method. But as often happens when I am out of my routine, as the days of our tour passed, my habits were cast off and set adrift. 

I caught a cold in Florida, felt it coming on as we watched the Toronto Blue Jays lose to the Pittsburgh Pirates at the Dunedin Stadium. Returning to Canada, I called in sick to work and was advised to contact my Public Health department for instructions. Public Health told me to self-isolate but that I didn't need a Covid-19 test as I had not travelled to a high-risk area. By the time my self-isolation period was over, my workplace had closed. 

You would think that with so much spare time now available, I'd have buckled down on the centring, but no. Like many, I was like a ship without a sail. The only aspect of focus that continued unabated was the scripture writing. The rest of my time was consumed with working on my novel, writing blog posts, staying connected with online prayer groups, participating in Zoom book club and life group meetings, trying to declutter my home, doing the usual tasks of dishes, laundry, meals, dusting and vacuuming, walking the dog, running back and forth to deliver groceries to my mom in Toronto, helping my young adult children where needed, and repeat.

photo by smaus (Pixabay)

Just before I returned to work in June, my mom fell. She tore her rotator cuffs and broke a vetebra in her spine. I had to bring her home with me, take her to physiotherapy appointments, help her work on her mobility, and all the other things that go along with eldercare. In September she had a pacemaker insertion, followed by a six week recovery. More running back and forth to Toronto. All sense of normalcy blown out of the water. 

Somehow, in all of this, I managed to attend to one verse from that January post, Philippians 4:8, quoting it to those with sinking, stinking thinking, and in doing so, to myself as well.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

At last, toward the end of September, the larger concept of centring returned. What was the prompt? Looking forward to this November post? Beginning a 12-week spiritual disciplines class? Commencing a 9-month spiritual autobiography course? I'm not sure, but I'm glad my sails were finally hoisted. I know I need to be centred on Christ, that if I'm not, my life gets out of control and I stop relying on His strength, trusting in my own. 

I guess in a way I'm back to square one on this, but that's okay. With the year we've had, we need show ourselves grace and that's what I'm going to do. For next steps, I'm going to revisit the different areas I identified in that original post and how I might centre each of them around the Lord in a way that pleases Him now: family and friend relationships, church and online activities, writing, work, and personal.

God has been reminding me of truths from His Word: He is patient and long-suffering. He is good. He is working in this world, working in me, working in those around me, even when I cannot see or understand. His plans are not to harm me, but to give me a hope and a future. He's been teaching me to focus on what is excellent and praiseworthy, and I'm going to keep turning the prow of my ship to centring on the Lord through song and scripture, renewing my mind in a way that calibrates my inner compass. Meeting God in the morning is an important part of that, preventing the day's current from sweeping me away on its tides. 

  He's my lighthouse!                                      

photo by mollyroselee (Pixabay)

Unfurl the sails and let God steer us where He will. ~ St. Bede

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You can find out more about Susan Barclay's writing at www.susan-barclay.blogspot.com

Experiencing Becoming by Lynn J Simpson

“Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.” Kurt Vonnegurt

The pastor on the monitor screen said in a voice that deepened with each word, “You - have -no - control.” I twirled my pen hovering over my notebook with printed blue words neatly set between black lines. Next to me, June muttered, “Ain’t that the truth.” I glanced over at Faye who was bent over her bible, fingers traveling under words. Roxanne’s eyes were fixed on the screen. Each of us were processing the teachings of Ecclesiastes, hearing the same words that mingle and skate in our minds differently. Every Tuesday evening we gather, currently studying this wisdom book of the bible. June’s story-telling keeps us attentive, Faye’s analysis keeps us thinking, Roxanne’s grounded nature keeps us real, and my curiosity keeps us diving deep for meaning. All of us have our unique ways to process and share what we learn. All of us are a sum of our experiences that teach us, grow us, and shape us 

I’ve been taking skating lessons. I thought I was doing better at the cross-over until a coach showed me differently. As soon as my foot crosses over, I immediately pick up my back foot to rebalance, when I should be able to balance with both blades on the ice. To get better at this, I hold onto my grand-daughter who can do a set of backward crossovers ending with waltz jump.  I cross over, holding on to her shoulder, with the hope one day I can let go and still be upright. So my Olympic dreams have been placed on hold until I master the cross-over. At 55 years old presently, and a lot of skills still to learn, I might be 75 years old before I can try-out. Maybe I should go for the record of the oldest athlete to try-out for the Olympics? What I do know is I may never be famous or even excellent at skating, but I might be good. And through skating badly I’ve learned about myself and the sport. I’ve become more appreciative of those two foot turns, and those last place finishers in competitions. I’ve experienced that you can still learn a new skill, become that athlete, artist, snowboarder, quilter, singer, flute player (you name it), no matter how well or badly. It’s the experience, not the money or fame, that motivates you to not quit. It’s the experience, as Kurt Vonnegut writes, that makes “your soul grow.”

Before I start writing each of these posts for Inscribe, I read one essay in Anne Lamont’s collection, Small Victories. Whether one likes what she writes or not, the artistry of her writing cannot be denied. Each word, sentence, and idea flows flawlessly into the theme, and she creates the suspense needed to keep a reader curious even in short essay pieces. Sometimes I’ll read one of her essays, and then read one of mine and think, “I should quit. I am never going to be skilled like her.”  And ain’t that the truth, the latter? ‘Cause I am not Anne. I also likely will never be famous or write as well as Anne. However, each time I experience writing, I can experience a new sentence, phrase, idea, word, and theme. I can bring out something within  me I hadn’t known was there. Through the act of writing, well or badly, I experience becoming - a becoming that God has already fully defined.  We can rest in the knowing that no matter our level of skill in any of our activities, He, (and He is good!) is in control. Our part is to not quit, but keep stepping into the experience. 

What helps you to keep stepping into experiencing (whether you do it well or badly) all that God has for you? 

Our Word of the Year in Review by Sandi Somers

Image by Unsplash

In January our blog topic focused on our word or Scripture of the year. Now with our year soon coming to a close, we look in our rearview mirrors and reflect on what that word/Scripture and God’s activity have meant for our life, spiritual growth, and writing.

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Before writing my own review, I spent an enjoyable morning reading all our January posts. Several themes emerged.

Most writers described the life issues and challenges that brought them to the place of choosing their key words/Scriptures.

Writers looked forward to 2020 with hope, faith, and expectation. Some even outlined specific goals and plans. Others gave suggestions for choosing and processing their word/Scripture.

Writers found Scripture promises of God's faithfulness and encouragement. The goal of most writers was to trust God and follow Him more closely.

The writers of comments added insight and affirmation as they shared with compassion and understanding how their own experiences resonated with those of the writer.

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My 2020 theme was the Lord of The Impossible. Over the year, however, my word tended to be breakthroughs. However, I discovered that the Lord’s breakthroughs often don’t come with blazing fireworks, but through His quiet indwelling and empowerment. It can be a slow process, as Carolyn Arends wrote: “As a gen­er­al rule (God) works incre­men­tal­ly – a shift in per­spec­tive here, a small break­through there, slow­ly enlarg­ing our capac­i­ty to see and receive what He has for us.” Over the year, my focus gradually shifted from breakthroughs to God Himself and what He has done (from Luke 8:39).

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God Provided during Covid

Image by Reddit

Shortly after Covid flatlined us and turned our lives upside down, I awoke one morning with the Spirit’s quiet assurance, “Rest in the shadow of my wings until these calamities are past” (from Psalm 57:1).

As I learned to rest and not worry, God gave me the impetus for more extended times with Him and His Word in early mornings. A friend had given me a daily Prayer Journal, so I began more structured times of listing my verse for the day, praise and gratitude items, and prayer requests. I was conscious that I was praying more for our governments and those with various Covid-related needs. While my own months were fairly calm, God brought several into my life who needed prayer and encouragement. I became more conscious of daily practicing the presence of God, too.

God opened up new opportunities during Covid

Because we couldn’t attend church in-person, I spent early Sunday mornings on bird watching at our local bird sanctuary and different lakes and ponds. This was a time of worship before returning home in time to watch our 11 o’clock services online.

Zoom offered alternatives to in-person meetings--new prayer gatherings (and there were many), webinars, and our Fall Conference, all from the comfort of my home. For me, it was quite an adjustment to lead our local writers’ group on Zoom without all those interpersonal nuances!

God brought a change of lifestyle—either temporary or permanent

With spending more time at home—with shops closed and appointments cancelled, I continued quilting projects and cleaning the house. As spring blossomed, I worked more in my yard and flower beds, enjoying it more than I have in several years. My morning walks became longer and I explored new trails farther from home. My increased activity paid off: by autumn I felt physically stronger, I determined with God’s empowerment to develop greater strength and endurance in other areas of my life.

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God gave me new insights and strategies for writing.

Major turning points came to my writing this year. First, as I wrote my June 2020 blog on writing themes, I discovered unused potential in exploring some topics. God was leading me to, “Launch out into the deep.” Further, over the year my writing focused more and more on Christ’s redemptive work and the Spirit’s empowerment. Valerie Ronald spoke so eloquently into my desire in one of her blog posts. She wanted: “to soak my stories and words with the love of Jesus...My goal is to weave His essence throughout my stories, to evoke a deep inner response in a reader’s heart toward the good.” (Thank you, Valerie!)

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God brought our family both joys and the valley of death.

Our extended family held a number of (mostly) outdoor events this summer, bringing me to a closer relationship with several others. One spiritual highlight was the baptism and then marriage of my great-niece Amanda. At her baptism, I was invited to speak words of encouragement. Doing so prompted me to pray more deeply and further encourage both Amanda and Nick in their new lives as new Christ-followers.

In March, my nephew Kevin passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack. Our smaller “Covid Funeral,” in August included mostly family and close friends. Then as I prepare this writing, Kevin’s father and my brother-in-law, Peter, is in Palliative Care from liver cancer and heart issues. In my last in-depth conversation with Peter, he expressed how much his life has become a life of thanks. While death is a great sorrow to those of us left behind, I rejoice to know that both men will be at rest in God’s presence.

Like Peter, I pray my life will be characterized by thanksgiving, joy, and peace.

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As you prepare your post this month, ask yourself these questions:

How have I seen my relationships, daily experiences, life challenges, spiritual life, and writing through the lens of my word or scripture of the year?

How has the Spirit of Christ been working in me?

What has God taught me about Himself—and myself?

How can I encourage my readers?