Facing the Giant - Karen Toews

I Samuel 17: a thrilling face-off between David and Goliath with the "underdog" winning, a captivating story for Sunday school kids and adults alike.

Who doesn't want to see the good guy win?
What isn't there to like about being a conqueror?

What about the background prior to this scenario?

- discipline and work: vs. 34a "...your servant used to keep sheep for his father..."

- courage and strength: vs 34b, 35 "...And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him."

- faith and trust from past experience when nobody was watching: vs. 37 "...the Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."

- refusing fear in the face of intimidation: vs. 44 "...I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field."

- acknowledging source of strength: vs. 45 "You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied."

- declaring the victory before the fight: vs. 46, 47a "This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth...."

- giving honor and glory to God: vs. 47b "...that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel...For the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you into our hand."

And that's what happened. vs. 50 "...David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him."

Who of us doesn't have a giant to face-down? Maybe yours is related to one of these:

A book manuscript that you just can't wrap up.
The unknowns of a new work/business opportunity?
Personality-communication challenges with family, work, family relationships?
Health issues?

Draw courage and confidence from God's power and the experience of doing your homework.
....and conquer your giant.

How to Write Fast - Karen Toews

Recently a "foodie" business acquaintance, Susan, kindly commented to me about my blog: "I really enjoy reading it, it's well written, as compared to a lot of blogs out there that I can't say the same for..."

"Hey, thanks" I replied, "I always appreciate hearing that - but I'm just so slow, it takes me forever to write it to the standard I want it to be."

Can anybody out there relate?

A few days later a message from an online business powerhouse, Marie Forleo, was waiting in my inbox. The topic of the free video? How To Write Faster - now how timely was that?!

Multi-tasking - kitchen clean-up and viewing the short video - I jotted down the following notes, not in a particular order and it's possible I missed some points when my hands were in the sink. I think I've correctly covered the basic thoughts; the italics are my personal notes.

A. Begin with the end in mind - what is the key point I wish to get across?
No more jumping in and seeing what I end up with.

B. Keep a topic list - written down. It's that universal tip of having a notepad and pen always available to remember those inspirational ideas. Include on that list other writing prompts, i.e. the questions that people/blog commenters ask.
Make one master list where all these idea bits and pieces reside in an easily accessible location.

C. Make it short and sweet. Focus on one specific tip.
I don't have to explain everything I know about something in one blog.

D. Plan it out. Make an editorial calendar that outlines your next writing week, month, 3-months: a plan so you know what you're going to do when you open the screen.
Don't worry, there will still be room for spontaneity amidst this structure.

E. Don't write and edit at the same time. Get it down and fix it later.
 Have I ever done it?!! Big learning curve here.

F. Flip the internal switch. From "I am so slow and this is going to take forever" to "I can do this well and in a timely fashion."
Self-talk with the same language I use to encourage those I love....

G. I am the vessel, not the source. To paraphrase Marie: as writers we show up at the page and whether we call it the muse, the spark, the inner flow, or Divine inspiration - the words will come and are often "beyond" ourselves.
Commit to the work, trust in the Spirit, believe in myself. God, you know my desire to share a wholehearted, meaningful message.

H. The amount of time you allow is the time it'll take.
I take that to be a "specific" not a "however long".

Of course there are factors like: what it is I'm writing, e.g. a book, a blog, a memo, or a newsletter - and the parameters of the literary expectations.  However, I'm here to say that my current writing exercise is learning how to apply these tips.

My allotted time is up and I am done.

Knowing - and doing - God's Will - Karen Toews

Sometime last fall, the desire to lead a women's Bible study at our church started germinating in my heart. Just like sowing tiny spinach and lettuce seeds to lay in the ground over winter, waiting for longer daylight and warmer spring days - it wasn't the right time for my study to push through the ground until April.

Now, public speaking and taking leadership are gifts I've been given - but even my daughter expressed surprise when I told her I was leading a Bible study. Yes, I read my Bible, sometimes attend other Bible studies, search out scripturally inspired books and online devotionals, am thankful for Biblical messages from the pulpit - but initiating to lead a study is new to me.

That's the neat thing about God putting something within your heart. He gives you the confidence and passion to follow through on your mission. My motivation included several reasons:

• to provide opportunity for women from our church to learn from God's word together
• to meet other women in our church (two Sunday morning services can create"gaps")
• to provide a secure place to share our hearts
• to believe that other women would gain confidence to pray out loud in a group setting 
• for my own deeper walk with Christ through designated time preparing for the study

It was a challenge deciding what study to choose. I had three options in my mind, two of which had a body, soul and spirit thrust and the third which was strictly a topical Bible study. I bounced these ideas off our pastor and the only other woman I knew who was keen on joining a study. Their comments were almost identical, " God has directed you this far and he'll let you know which one you should do." Big help!

Number three option was my pick,  Notes on my Night Table, a 14-week study on knowing the will of God, written by Inscribe's own, Elsie Montgomery. From the vantage point of being a third of the way through the study, I realize God helped me make the best study choice - one I would recommend.  The lessons prompt us to dig into scriptures and consider our response to God's word.

From six to twelve women attend each week, everyone participates and the best encouragement has been the appreciation expressed for this opportunity to share hearts and experiences with other women - around the study of the Bible.

I thank God for planting this desire within me. He's helping me to be a facilitator as we learn together. As hoped for, my faith is being strengthened - reviewing and reviving this fundamental theme in my walk with Him.

"Teach me to do Thy will, for You are my God. Psalm 143:10

 

Recipe for 'Riting - Karen Toews

Food is my gig.

Beyond the obvious - needing to eat to sustain myself - I work with it, talk about it, demonstrate how to cook with it, write about it.

Sometimes I just "wing it" - I check the fridge and the pantry and create a meal or a dish using what's available. But when I really want to try something new or need it to turn out just right, I use a recipe with its ingredient list and instructions.

Writing a piece of work - an article, blog, poem, or book - is much like following a recipe.

There's structure: listing what you need for the expected finish, with specific guidelines on how to proceed with those ingredients. An outline, a procedure - a beginning, a middle and an end.

And not everything requires the same amount of time from beginning to end. A quatrain - a trail mix of raisins, peanuts, almonds and dried apricots - is altogether quite different from preparing a memoir of a simmered stew of a lifetime.

Wash, cut, chop, taste - add a little more seasoning - polish, add a paragraph, find that perfect word, move a paragraph.

Simmering the dish too long can dry it out - when the book is finished, it's done, ready to be enjoyed.

There's a calling, a reason for the creation

• could be a "quick lunch," a pithy piece like a devotional - with a scripture reference and three points to ponder throughout the day. The ingredient list isn't long but each one packs a punch.
• there are special holiday meals: a variety of flavours, colours and a taste of tradition: those articles that draw on our past, portraying God's faithfulness and blending it with the vibrance of life and hope for today
• we get a craving for spice and zest - a heart-challenging message that sparks a flame

The dish doesn't always match the recipe picture - the story heads off on another direction, minding its own will.

But "we can always revise and revisit once we've acted....we can accomplish nothing until we act."

(Do the Work! by Steven Pressfield)

Stick to the gig, my friends.

A Plan in Place - Karen Toews

Five months ago I launched my blog.

That was following months of picking my way along a steep technical challenge and building up the courage to commit to a long term journey. Surprise, surprise - that was one of my best writing decisions ever. I have:

• a self-directed weekly deadline
• a readership
• readers' comments to encourage me to develop content pertinent to them and to my blog's theme.
• a writing process that's giving me clarity and confidence for the online, and person-to-person, aspect of building my business.

Can you sense my satisfaction-thanksgiving?

I thank God for:

• helping me make a difference
• the anticipation of things to come

My heart's desire is to expand the whole-life, nutrition message (online and in person) to Christian women: to en-courage them in being the complete, whole-hearted person God has meant them to be, that:

• we have influence over healthy food and exercise choices for our families and circles beyond
• it's okay (crucial) to take time for your soul-care
• the rewards of having courage to "swim upstream" can bring new life and energy - for you and others

How can this next step take shape?

• continue writing blog posts - for the readership that's already there and growing
• seek out/connect with other Christian health and fitness blog writers
• contact Christian "markets" e.g. local womens' church groups

And in the day-to-day practicality - how am I going to make enough computer-working time available?

• organization=less paperwork on my desk: more sort and file, less shuffle
• less emails out=less emails received (that's what I've heard!)
• saying "no" to requests and options, so I can say "yes" to what I want to do, that contributes to reaching my goals (I'm not referring to "me and my selfish agenda" - you get my drift...)

Oh yes, there are days when:

• my brain can't wrap around one more technical thing
• my creativity meter has bottomed out
• this work I love to do has stacked up to the tipping point

Where does my help come from?

• prayer and meditation on Scripture and other inspirational reading, current book: Simply Jesus by N. T. Wright
• my daughter (whom you've probably already "met" in my posts). She continues to be my mentor and inspiration, most recently through her open letter to young Moms .

It feels great to have a plan.

It's wonderful to be well - body, soul and spirit - to make it work.

Silent Night, Holy Night - Karen Toews

Every December members from our church go carolling to seniors: "shut-ins" who either live in their own homes or in assisted living facilities. The carollers meet at the church where they divide into groups, are given a list of 4 or 5 stops, then fan out into the community.

Most years I join in and I had this year's date marked in my daytimer well in advance.

But on that particular Wednesday, the afternoon's agenda went off the rails. My Christmas baking project took much longer than anticipated, I couldn't get into the flow for a work proposal, and a couple necessary phone calls all disrupted my rhythm and production.

Maybe you should forget about carolling tonight and get caught up on your work.

I tossed the thought to and fro; decided I needed those hours at home and emailed one of the organizers to express my regrets.

You can't give a small gift of your time to share the music of this season...to share Me?

The pointed question pricked me through. What was I thinking, beyond my own selfishness? I needed to go.

Our group was a Mom and her 9-year-old son, our driver and her friend, and myself. Our hosts were delighted and generous with their thanks and their sweet treats. Two of the ladies, pretty much house-bound with health issues, sang along with their carol request: Silent Night. I think (older) women, especially, have an intrinsic affinity for this simple sacred melody of the first Christmas night. It was my Mom's favourite too. Now, six years since her last Christmas, I couldn't stop the tears from welling up, so aware of the gulf between us and our perspectives of "Son of God, love's pure light."

Almost all of the people we sang for were senior women. They were sitting waiting for us to come and they were sitting when they left. Those in senior homes didn't have baking or decorating or cleaning yet to do that night - with a full agenda planned for the next day too. It's safe to guess that at one point in their life that was so - and that they'd now say, "where did the years go?"

All the carollers met up back at the church for cocoa and cookies and this particular caroller went home to a kitchen spilling over with dirty dishes. No elves or fairies had showed up to sweep through the house with their magic. But a miracle of sorts had materialized.

My sense of peace in spite of a list with too few tasks ticked off. Surprise for how much I'd received in exchange for my small effort. The contentment knowing the priority projects would get done.

Christmas has come, we have celebrated "Christ the Saviour is born." And because of this "....dawn of redeeming grace", I can experience "all is calm, all is bright."

My Writing Life Reviewed - Karen Toews

Looking back.

I've never been a prolific writer, but some seasons my efforts have been more consistent than others. One of those "others" has been the last five, six years - a space where my writing life has been an on-again, off-again practise. I wasn't happy that it had come to that wobbly flow of stops and spurts. Topic ideas wasn't the problem - they just seldom landed on the page. The desire and discipline to develop them into something worth reading didn't often happen.

That pattern took a small, but important, shift in 2010 when I started contributing monthly on this Inscribe Writers Online. Sometimes my post has been late or published in spite of my not being completely satisfied with the piece. But having an assignment, a deadline, a readership - that's what I needed to get the groove going.

Coming into 2011, my plan was to support that small momentum. In conjunction with developing my new business in natural nutrition, my goal was to launch a blog: a mission accomplished - with many thanks to my patient and blog-savvy daughter and son-in-law.

The present.

So the "blog-baby" is birthed. Content is "key" so posts have to be written but that's just part of sustaining this needy "child". The small writing momentum I was prepared to nurture has become a pushing and shoving match - manoeuvring through a foreign technical landscape and stretching my creativity for design and formating.

As fellow bloggers know, visiting and commenting on other blogsites helps build your own site and a network of online connections. This is good. What doesn't help is the sense of intimidation I feel, looking at "how professional" these other blogs look and "how come I didn't think to set up my site that way?" Or the most discouraging: "I have no clue how to make my side bar blocks (...or something else) look like that!"

I am gratified - readers are visiting, they're submitting comments. The discipline and challenge are giving me a sense of writing purpose, inspiring me to continue, helping shape other business ideas.

Looking ahead.

In Do the Work, author Steven Pressfield states, "A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor the genius or the madman. It's only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and over think and hesitate." This summer, with three of our grandkids living with us, I was able to observe this "having an idea to do something and just running with it." Whether it was physical play or for designing everything from doll clothes to cardboard castles to painting pictures.

Am I going to be able to "run with the dream" I have for this "child"? Is it really worthwhile, making a difference for someone? What about other writing desires - maybe a longer piece of work, maybe a (whisper) book?

Today I read Philippians 4:6,7. "Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

I'm not privy to the full picture of my 2012 writing life, but I have an idea. My heart is open to the bigness of God's creative power and design. My resolve is not to compare myself with others. My prayer is that I will know His leading - and His peace - as I do the work and move ahead.

Write it Down - Karen Toews

Probably all of us have attended writing workshops, strategy-planning sessions, business retreats - a sojourn where we brainstorm, discuss, and pursue clarity for future goals pertinent to that event.

These "exercises" involve the action of writing down goals, a process that requires thinking, then physically moving the pen or tapping the keyboard so that plan becomes a visual thing. This is not a new tactic, yet a useful tool to keep us moving forward in a specific direction.

If you've followed my blog over the last year (and more), you'll know that I've had challenges accepting setbacks with my physical fitness activities. Coming to terms with making changes I didn't ask for and/or want, has encouraged important soul-searching - evaluating priorities and trusting God for direction and comfort.

Thankfully, with His help, along with that of a lot of other friends (trained in massage, physio, acupuncture, chiropractic procedures, MELT therapy, etc.) I'm able to run again without pain - as long as I don't run every day and use a minimalist shoe. I've gained a new respect for this passion of mine and accept it as a gift to be used with care and thanksgiving.

This spring I committed to my desire to return to the racing scene and registered for the PEI half marathon, scheduled for October 16, 2011. Training went well - other than wiping out in June while running on the road, resulting in a knee gash, swollen bursa sac and some very painful ribs. I had a pretty flexible training routine: there were other activities happening, like taking grandkids to the beach, going for bike rides and overall, enjoying the sweet days of summer.

I drove to PEI with friends who were also running in the event; the day before the race we picked up our bib numbers and checked out the booths at the race expo. OptiMYz (a fitness magazine) had a promo for something free (I didn't win whatever it was) for those who dared to write down their projected finish time for the distance they were doing, and have your picture taken. Uh oh. From previous racing experience I knew how nervous I could get by predicting finishing times, thus I'd invariably go for the maximum end of what I thought I'd be able to do.

This race was for fun and throwing out caution (and possibly common sense), I jotted down a number on the low end of my wish-time, still knowing anything could go awry "tomorrow."

Within an hour, I was thinking, "what have I done?" - not wanting to look like I was totally dreaming. Then waffling back to "what does it matter if you're off by 3, or 5, or 10 minutes?" Regardless, the pre-race jitters were back just like the past: I rolled with it, still enjoying the day sight-seeing, eating the "right" food, drinking water and visiting the bathroom.

All because I'd written down a number.

Race morning. Muscle memory is a term runners embrace and count on - in spite of getting a less-than-restful sleep or your legs are lacking the usual "punch", those muscles of yours will remember what to do because they've done it so many times before. Well, my mind also remembered that my pacing on the first 12km would determine if I would have enough gas or time to finish well so I had to run smart.

I decided to hang close to a pace bunny and a group that were aiming for the same time I'd written down - resolving to pay close attention to my breathing and how I was feeling. With favorite worship songs in my mind, an eye on my watch, and prayers of thanksgiving to be enjoying this sport - plus some diligent effort - I did it. With more than a minute to spare.

A goal that became my focus - because I'd written down a number.

Where else do I write down goals, plans, dreams? Journals, work binders, devotional books and Bible margins. These words are important motivators and reminders.

But we have been given eternal writings, valuable signposts from the greatest designer of all.

"This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel....declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." (Jeremiah 31:33, NIV)

And if we're on His "team", we all win.

"Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.......and they will reign for ever and ever." (Revelation 21:27, 22:5c, NIV)


http://www.realfoodmatters.ca
(Photo courtesy of OptiMYz - Facebook)

Real Food Matters - Karen Toews

Real food matters is my brand new baby whose birth has been a long time coming.

Back to the beginning.

I grew up in a family where our eating norm was the goodness of home-prepared food from home grown products off our family farm. The gift of healthy eating, an active lifestyle (my parents didn't buy in to the line "everyone else has a TV!") and a spiritual foundation of knowing and loving God, was the blend of what I believe to be a rich heritage. Life wasn't (and still isn't) perfect but is one that feels rooted and real. That's the nutshell edition; the longer version elaborates.

Life scrolled by.

The chapters of my food story included the daily-ness of feeding me and my family, with the addition of a couple foodie business ventures, and the pleasure of cooking for guests around my table. A passion developed while experimenting and enjoying many of the raw products available through the hand of our creative God. As I searched out recipes and researched nutrition, I was fascinated to learn how food may help towards healing our bodies and protecting us from disease.

And so began my study in natural nutrition, via a distance learning nutrition program, one with a holistic approach towards healthy living. Originally, for reasons probably related to my traditional Christian upbringing, I had vague reservations about using the term holistic. Maybe it was a feeling that had to do with attaining holiness on one's own - I don't really know. But in reality, this approach addresses the whole person, which really does bode well with my core values and faith. A belief that we are a living soul: created body, mind and spirit - each part needing to be be nourished and cherished.

The present.

Making healthy food choices, being physically active, using godly principles how to feed your mind and spirit - these are all things I want to apply personally and to share with others. A large proportion of our population - the people in the communities where we live - suffer from obesity, disease, or just a nagging condition of feeling unwell. This fuels my passion to help by being a coach for better health. We will not attain perfect health this side of eternity but there are ways we can make positive healthy changes - intentional actions that reflect responsibility, respect and thanksgiving for the body God has given us.

As realfoodmatters "grows up" I trust people will be encouraged and challenged.

Do stop by and visit.

"Seeing the Self as Soul" - Karen Toews

I've recently watched a series of blog videos focused on self-care. They have been targeted towards busy Moms shuffling life responsibilities of young children, work, home and everything in between. Though I don't qualify in the first category - the rest is in my mix. The practical guidance given was based on our human physiology, chemistry and emotional make-up - and the presenter's gentle spirit could only add to the calming of one's soul.

The soul. Where does it fit in with this attention to taking care of my self - not a surprising query from one who grew up with the JOY Sunday School chorus: "Jesus first, Yourself last, and Others in between!" Though this posed a semantic question more than a deep theological concern, I believe it was no coincidence that at our public library last week, I came across the book, The Contented Soul, The Art of Savoring Life by Lisa Graham McMinn.

In the second chapter, Lisa expands on "Seeing the Self as Soul." The following quote is the essence of how she clarified this, referencing Dallas Willard from Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ. "...[regarding] the soul... that dimension of a person that inter-relates all other dimensions so that they form one life. The soul organizes our whole person: our mind and will, thoughts and feelings, body and social context, and through these, reaches ever deeper into the person's vast environment of God and his creation."

In this framework, taking care of self is an understanding that "I am a living soul who lives in a physical world and is held together by a spiritual world." This links well with other nuggets I've found in this great book - God created us for joy, having mellowness of heart, practicing fortitude - and I anticipate more as I slowly savor my way through the chapters.

I'm hoping some of you have read this book, and would enjoy hearing from you.

Do take good care....

Summer (Home) School - Karen Toews

My daughter home schools her three children. Traditionally school's out during the summer but they took a long break during April and May while the family packed up to move. During the transition of relocating, they're living with us - now it's catch-up time, school's back in. No sleeping in late - and after breakfast and morning chores, the school files come out, spelling programs appear on the computer monitor, and math sheets and artwork share space on the kitchen table.

Being privy to all this learning activity I now understand why my grandkids are so brilliant (smile) and I appreciate in spades the level of effort and time my daughter puts into their education. I have been challenged to be diligent also in sitting down with books and keyboard to work toward my own learning goals.

Last fall I graduated from the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition, receiving a diploma as a Registered Holistic Nutritionist. Finishing this course was a test in my commitment to study as a distance learning student and I was over the moon when I got the phone call with the message that I had passed.

But that was just the beginning.

Natural nutrition has grabbed my interest so that research and study will continue. And during this life-long process, that knowledge is information I want to share. In order to do that well, I have a lot to learn.

My daughter, as friend, brings out the best in me: encouraging me to know and act upon the desires that God has put within me. As an in-house teacher, her practical organizational skills and support as I move towards developing my nutrition business is what people go to workshops (and pay money) for!

Another qualified contributor to my summer education is my computer techie son-in-law. Blessed with the patience of Job, he is walking me through the steps of building a blog that, God-willing, I will be able to manage with his long-distance help once they've moved away.

The teacher is focused, us four students are dedicated, but being a summer (home) school student does have its advantages when attention spans lapse, there's deer walking past the window or your body and brain needs a break. Without the pressure of getting something finished before the bell, the teacher can grant a break to go jump on the trampoline, take a spin on your bike, or go for a run.

This summer of 2011 will hold special teacher-student-mentor memories for my daughter and I - and that will be reward enough regardless of my final mark on this summer (home) school session.

Being Canadian - Karen Toews

My daughter, her husband, and three children recently moved back to Canada after living in the U.S. for 11 years. Work and adventure took them there, and in part, those same reasons have brought them home. They're living with us for the summer so I have a day-by-day view of their initial transition back to our land of "the strong and free". Observing their adjustments, revisiting my history of over 50 years in Alberta and four in Nova Scotia, considering present day world events, and looking ahead to Canada Day are all timely prompts for me to ponder some points on Being Canadian.

- traveling through the U.S. – Canada border, stopping at the Canadian immigration. With their documents in hand, my daughter and son-in-law answer questions regarding citizenship and the value of their household and other worldly goods. No vehicle search, no stress, no “fight or flight” stomach flutters. Pixel the cat sleeps through the whole procedure.

- driving from Alberta to Nova Scotia - we made this trek two times in one year. Provincial boundaries are marked by welcoming information centres, not security checkpoints.

- disputing labour struggles are managed by discussions, strikes and maybe government intervention – citizens don’t (usually) act out their frustration by drawing a gun.

- finding a new church family – our choice and privilege. No government dictation or registration required.

- researching online Canadian shopping - time consuming but cheaper than U.S. shipping costs.

- declaring Canadian residency and citizenship entitles you to health care.

- shopping in superstores, independent shops, outdoor markets. Abundance abounds.

- hiking, cycling, running, kayaking, boating, back-pack camping – all of these family activities can be enjoyed without fear of buried landmines and guerilla terrorists.

- having the wherewithal and desire to do so is all that’s required to live most anywhere in Canada. Deportation is not an issue. We are citizens, we belong.

- writing personal stories, or kudos and criticisms, expressing controversy, opinions about religion, politics, current affairs – we have freedom to speak without fear of late night footsteps and a knock on the door.

- working, learning, progressing, or "chilling" - we have choices, we have opportunities.

- enjoying favor from other nations is what we reap from our forefathers, our war veterans, and our "conservative" nature.

- being thankful and living responsibly - that's how I want to Be Canadian.

Discovering the Story - Karen Toews

Last summer on this blog I expressed my angst about a physical loss - running - an activity that also carries a big inspirational punch to get me writing. In the eleven months since that post, my treatment has been yoga, swimming, cycling, chiropractor adjustments, kayaking, professional massage, MELT, acupuncture, limited running. Plus: self-reflection, prayer, meditating on scripture and inspirational readings, commiserating with (aging) athletes, researching for solutions, etc. I was so hopeful that by now this frustrating journey would be over and done with - that the monotony of the previous list would be only in its reading, not in reality.

I've questioned why this habit of physical exercise - that I love and brings ideas and energy - has become something that can consume my mental focus and distract me from the keyboard.

Yet - paging through my journals and the notes written in my bible, I realize this saga is, in a small measure, a positive writing story.

"A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed?....God's name is a place of protection - good people can run there and be safe." Proverbs 18: 14, 10 The Message
My notes: I'm so concerned about a healthy body. God, help me to focus on having a healthy spirit.

"We thank you, God, we thank you - your Name is our favorite word: your mighty works are all we talk about." Psalm 75:1 The Message
 

My notes of thanksgiving: the beauty of the river where I live, the melancholic hooting of the owls in our woods, the hope of physical healing, the wonder of the creative energy of God and His grace and generosity to share it with us.

Recent exercise journal entries:
"Felt great again today. Hallelujah."
"Weird thing going on in my right hip-hamstring. What's that about?"
"God, help my body to be receptive to this latest treatment."
"I trust you, God."
"I think I need to write for runners - that there's life beyond running, there are risks and pitfalls of self-absorption, God has ways for recovering and coping with the sense of loss and realities of injury and age."

It's taken a long time but just maybe I am finally discovering the real story.

Preserving our Stories - Karen Toews

In less than three weeks my daughter, her husband and family are moving. Not across town or to the next one either, but back to Canada and to a location and lifestyle they anticipate to be simpler, allowing for less 'stuff'. Packing has been judiciously selective. But as my daughter related in her blog , a perk of the whole purging process has been "discovering treasures of your life's belongings". One of which for her, has been dusting off her Mom's memoir of short stories about pieces of our past.

The reminders of: the writing process (which took me forever); the pleasure of my daughter's appreciation; and the thrill of my grand-daughter declaring to her Mom, "there is just so much about you I don't know!" have been a direct prod.

It's time to do my own sorting - scrolling computer documents with opening paragraphs and sketchy outlines, skimming personal journals, thumbing through the "writing ideas" folder - and to once again start preserving. Without even looking I know those jotted notes include adventure, pain, love, loneliness, humour, thankfulness, uncertainties, challenges. Our narrative, with its joys and pathos, all buffered by our heritage and wrapped in relationship with our God.

Jotting ideas on paper scraps takes as little time and effort as the thoughts that inspired the action. Following through to the polished product, be it a short story or a manuscript, will be the test of my resolve and expression of my passion.

There's much work ahead. It won't get done unless I set time lines (as my best intentions are easily derailed without deadlines), schedule writing time, and begin to write. I'm ready for the challenge, the prompt is on my computer: stories left untold will be gifts I've neglected to give - to my family, to myself and to my God.

Spring Cleaning - Karen Toews

Mom was a housekeeper extraordinaire. Keeping a small farm house holding a family of seven clean and organized must have been no small feat - my sister and I contributed with our Saturday's chores but it was Mom's efficiency and energy that kept things on course. Included in this regime was a thorough going-over of the house in the spring and fall. I am very grateful for her example and work ethic, but have come to terms with my standard of what's acceptable for my house.

Spring arrived this week and unlike many other years, I was house-cleaning. Sort of. I was wiping down cupboards, dusting off furniture and unpacking boxes that have been stored in an old barn for nine months. Everything was in fine condition, other than some rub marks on the leather sofa and the evidence of hungry rodents' shredded newspaper bits and fluff balls of fabric. Nothing too bad, except I have some serious mending to do on a couple Teddy bears that happen to be the grandkids' favorites.

In spite of diligent purging when I packed up all those boxes, I still have stuff that does not merit a home in our new house. It's the paper goods that trip me up. Pictures, sheets torn out of magazines, articles, books - how can they all feel like such 'close friends' when I haven't looked at many of them for months, if not years. I'm trying to be: ruthless, to anticipate what I really will use and want in the future, and allow myself freedom to make decisions to toss or not that may bring regret later.

Pretty much everything is in its place, the house is (mostly) clean - there is certainly a satisfaction to this spring cleaning thing.

I've been thinking about my other living space - the inner one where God dwells. A place where thoughts, attitudes, doubts, fear, sin - and joys, victories, yearnings, hope - wiggle into nooks and crevices. I need to review the contents of my heart for cleaning out or for polishing - regularly, not just once or twice a year.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."I John 1:9 (KJV)

Long Live the Love - Karen Toews

Roses to say "I love you" when we can't be together on Valentine's Day.

My husband, Derryl, and I have a long love story, in spite of our young ages (honestly - our total is less than 115). It started back in elementary school, when my now-father-in-law was the pastor at our church. Our families shared many visits and meals - and though Derryl and I are the same age (whoops, now you have the age mystery figured out), I spent more time doing girl fun with the younger sisters than with the cute, cool guy who sometimes had the "older brother" attitude. There were the occasional sparks that expressed our mutual attraction and when we were about years old, Derryl gave me a Valentine's card with 6 red cinnamon heart candies taped to it. That wasn't as surprising as the fact his is the only childhood Valentine that I saved; it survived all the years of purging my cupboards and boxes of papers. I still have it.

The preacher's kids have to move when the preacher follows another church call and it was a sad day when we said good-bye to the family. Winnipeg was a world away from this prairie farm girl, and at the age of 12, Derryl's and my long distance friendship lasted about one letter's worth.

A couple summers later, surprise of all surprises, my farmer father agreed to make a road trip (albeit driving 16 hours straight through in one day) to visit Derryl's family. I had looked forward to seeing all of them - but I was definitely disapointed to get there to discover Derryl was away. He had a job picking fruit with his uncle in the Okanagan. The fact this guy had ambition was lost on me - I just thought, what a bummer.

Four years later, another summer trip to Minnesota for a family camp where the preacher and his family had moved. Was it the fact we were both sweet 16; or that I was wowed by Derryl's handsome, tanned and fit body; or that the two of us had a history which the other teenage girls didn't? It was soon evident - the chemistry was there and we spent as much time together that was allowable. It was a true sweet summer romance, topped off with a last-night kiss under a huge oak tree - and it was short - as I was soon back home in Alberta where after a couple notes in the mail our relationship again went dormant.

Three years later. After high school, to avoid conscription to Viet Nam, Derryl moved back to the country of his citizenship. Through his extended family I had heard he was living in Calgary and on my next visit there I phoned him up, cold call. He'll never let me forget that I was the one who contacted him, but this seemed to be our pattern: this time it was the set-up for the proverbial "the rest is history". Two years later we were married, which is now over 37 years ago.

In fun, we accuse our parents of arranging our marriage (my mother-in-law was one of the servers at my parent's wedding) and they just didn't tell us. We do feel that God directed our lives to be together. Like many long-term relationship commitments, ours has been one of challenge, adventure, fun, disappointment, growth and joys of children and grandchildren.

It's been a long love life, one I pray God allows us to continue to share for many years to come.

"Let your own fountain be blessed, and enjoy the girl you married when you were young...." Proverbs 5:18a

What's the Point? - Karen Toews

I've been reading in Ecclesiastes. I didn't particularly decide to read this book right now, it's just where I'm at in my devotional bible-reading. This pointedly honest and somewhat despairing commentary on life is hardly an uplifting study for launching into a new year. However, I have been open to what God might be speaking to me through this Old Testament author (some scholars suggest it was Solomon), as this book must have been included in the scriptures for a good reason.

Call it a twisted version of inspiration for 2011 or my dose of "this is the real world, girl" - here are some of my January meditations.

"I accomplished some great things......But when I turned to look at all that I had accomplished and all the hard work I had put into it, I saw that it was all pointless. It was like trying to catch the wind. I gained nothing from any of my accomplishments under the sun." 2:4a, 11 NIV

"I saw that there's nothing better for people to do than to enjoy their work because that is their lot in life. Who will allow them to see what will happen after them?" 3:22 NIV

"You learn more at a funeral than at a feast - After all, that's where we'll end up. We might discover something from it." 7:2,3 The Message

"So I recommend the enjoyment of life. People have nothing better to do under the sun than to eat, drink, and enjoy themselves. This joy will stay with them while they work hard during their brief lives which God has given them under the sun." 8:15 NIV

"Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily! This is your last and only chance at it, For there's neither work to do nor thoughts to think In the company of the dead, where you're most certainly headed." 9:10 The Message

"Words from wise people are like spurs. Their collected sayings are like nails that have been driven in firmly....People never stop writing books...Fear God, and keep his commandments, because this applies to everyone, God will certainly judge everything that is done. This includes every secret thing, whether it is good or bad." 12: 11a, 12b, 13b, 14

What am I trying to accomplish and why? I can become a better person through sorrow and pain. Enjoy life. Work with gusto while I'm still able. Fear God, keep his commandments, and write with wisdom.

There is a point.

Appreciating Advent - Karen Toews

As a child I grew up with a sure understanding of the meaning of Christmas. Jesus was born to Mary and Joseph in a stable in Bethlehem – a baby who was the Son of God, who would later die and rise again for the salvation of the world. But the significance of the meaning of Advent? Either it didn’t get much press (or pulpit) time or I wasn’t paying attention. The lighting of the advent candle did become part of our Sunday morning service when I was older and for a few years we had a pottery advent candle holder on our dining room table - but it was used more as a centerpiece than a symbol for the Christmas season.

This last month a small group from our church met to study about the hope, joy, peace and love of this season. These weekly gatherings were a personal respite from the busyness of building our house and the mind-work and planning such a project involves. Reading the prophecies and New Testament scriptures leading up to the Christmas story has enlarged my appreciation for the reality of the Advent of the Christ who came to change and save our world. Our church’s Sunday service in this Advent season has also added to the practical application of these truths – by inviting us to to write and submit prayers that related to that weeks’ focus. The act of placing these prayers in the basket at the altar of the church was a tangible expression of my personal hopes, and my desires for the joy and peace and love that only Christ can fulfill.

Christmas Day has come and gone but the Gift of the season remains - and this year for me, a bit richer thanks to a closer look at Advent.

Luke 2: 10, 11 "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which shall be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."

November Visits with the Cousins - Karen Toews

For several years my sister's family and ours would get together for the November 11th remembrance weekend. Of her two boys and my daughter and son, two are very close in age, and one each being older and younger. Our family would most often make the 10-plus hour drive: from our Alberta home to theirs, in north-eastern British Columbia. Invariably, it would be the coldest weekend of the winter: bitterly cold, with or without snow. And often, we'd have to navigate icy roads either coming or going.

Our school system would often add an extra day off to make the break a 4-day stretch. Considering the time spent traveling, that would usually leave only two full days together. The kids crammed every minute full of games, watching movies, eating, laughing, reading crazy comics. The day we arrival, the two cousins would be watching for our car to drive up: pouncing on each other, hugging hellos, not skipping a beat from the last time they saw each other - which was often weeks, even months earlier.

My sister and family lived in a trailer for a few years. I don't remember its square footage (not huge, not a double-width) but we all had comfy places to sleep - and it had a hallway that was perfect for playing hockey. A spot for a goalie on either end, leaving two forwards to make the plays. More pouncing, cheering, with occasional balls the goalie missed flying into the living room. So much fun, beet-red faces, shirts being stripped off regardless of the outdoor temperatures. Such great memories of hockey in the hall. No Zamboni was on site but there must have been repairs and maintenance necessary after the players shook hands and half of them left for home.

All that action called for copious amounts of good food. Big pots of hamburger soup, mashed potatoes and roasted chicken, grown and raised down the road at the in-laws. Nobody can bake buns like my sister and she'd always have a huge batch of homemade poppycock in a Tupperware tub tucked in the cupboard. To add to the mix, friends of my sister and husband would often drop by, which was sure to add a couple more kids to the melee.

The fun wasn't restricted only to the kids, but we four adults didn't need near as much action to enjoy each others company. Going out for coffee, the whole gang playing walleyball, me watching my sister knit and thinking I might try the same, taking drives to enjoy the vast views, watching videos. To be honest, I don't remember attending any remembrance day services; I guess we were often traveling and perhaps more accurately, those were the years when for whatever reason, at least where we were, attendance waned at those services. In our defense, I think it would be correct to say that since then, our activities on remembrance day have often been shared with honoring those who've fought and died for our country.

Our tradition of getting together also waned as the kids got older and life changed, as happens for all of us. The day came (and lasted for a few years) when my sister and I ended up living in the same community - and the pleasure was ours to get together whenever we wanted - with and without the kids.

Those four kids, all parents with their own children, are so scattered across the continent that the siblings rarely get together, and it's almost never for the cousins. That adds to the reason why memories of our remembrance day visits are especially fond and the telling of these stories so important.

(photo credits - my sister)

http://www.toewsontherun.com

Small Gestures - Karen Toews

Saturday afternoon I often listen to DNTO (Definitely Not the Opera) on CBC Radio One. October 23rd's program highlighted stories about the small gestures people send each other: their significance, intimacy, peculiarity. Typical of these kind of programs that focus on the regular stuff of life that most of us don't give a second thought to, the host invited listeners to contribute their own stories about small gestures.

Contrary to the many times I've heard this offer with nary a thought that related to me, this time I immediately knew I had a story to share.

Of my parents, my dad is the quiet one: always a diligent and steady worker, a kind and gentle man who deserved my respect. He's someone I've never wanted to intentionally hurt - from the days of youthful testing-my-wings through to the present when my visits with him are an occasional and precious treat. Though Dad is soft-spoken, he has a sure conviction about important things of life; like integrity, compassion, respect; and his way of communicating those values has been in keeping with his personality.

Growing up in a devout Christian family, we faithfully attended church together: at least two times a week, often more. Church was a place of worship and biblical learning - and a gathering place to visit. When I was about nine or ten Mom and Dad let me sit with my friends, but I just knew I was in my Dad's sights, regardless of where we sat. We did the normal kid things like writing notes, comparing the contents of our purses, whispering when we thought nobody was watching and when something would strike us as funny, trying hard to make ourselves stop giggling. Every once in a while I could feel my Dad's eyes on me and I couldn't resist a look to see if he was watching. If we made eye contact and he had one eyebrow raised and the other lowered, I knew I had better pull myself in line - right now. Mercifully, he never embarrassed me by getting out of his pew to come and ensure an improvement in my behaviour. All I needed was that one small, but meaningful, gesture to smarten me up in a hurry.

I've been given a lifetime of gestures from my Dad. Just a few months ago, grasping my hand to say good-bye and slipping me a $20 bill. On my wedding day, his gentle tug on my arm - my soon-to-be husband singing as we walked down the aisle wasn't a surprise to Dad. The little endearments shown to my children - and some not so little, like sitting in a rocking chair with babe in arms for two hours so as not to wake her up.

Actions speak loud and clear. The small intimate ones can sometimes be the most powerful.