March 2020 was a month like none other. Tell you something you don’t know.
At first, I was thankful for fewer responsibilities. But
that gave way to the surreal—and the weariness. I didn’t feel depressed, at
least not in the traditional sense. However, I slept far more than usual, a
sure sign that the situation was taking its toll.
Kudos to all my fellow creatives who cranked up the
productivity now that they had more time at home! Although it appeared my
situation made increased productivity possible, my emotional wellbeing didn’t.
Many of those who have contracted the virus refer to the resulting
inability to think clearly. I believe there is also an indirect COVID fog, the
siren call of weariness. “If you sleep, you don’t have to think about what’s
going on in the world. After all, what can you do about it? You might as well
watch Netflix until you drift off.”
And I did. And I still do.
But I’m trying to do better. Creating a manageable To-Do
List. Prioritizing my tasks and seeking to accomplish the most important things
on that list. Mentally celebrating each checkmark in my planner.
I’ve read very little in the last 24 months. After all, it
takes more effort than rewatching all the movies in the MCU in chronological
order. (Yes, my hubby and I did that. But at least I didn’t nod off—not too
often at any rate.)
Even when I’ve gotten enough sleep, my couch and cozy
blanket still beckon. The overwhelm of my responsibilities and the things I
want to accomplish gets stuffed into a proverbial drawer. I’m afraid to open it
even a crack for fear that all the To-Do’s will fly out and bury me. So. I. Do.
Nothing.
Or…
I do one thing on the list and then celebrate—by vegging on
the couch for hours. While I’m all for celebrating every step on the journey no
matter how small, I have to keep making progress—slow, incremental progress.
I can do so by participating in the spiritual disciplines of
scripture reading and prayer, by exercising and eating more healthy foods, by
focusing on others and seeking to come alongside them. And so much more.
If you deal with PTSD, clinical depression, panic attacks…
If you’ve suffered from physical illness and/or lost someone during the
pandemic… If you’re trying to keep your head above water financially… Know that
I realize my situation pales in comparison.
While I’d like to say, “I see you,” it’s much more meaningful
to direct you to the God of All Comfort, the One who knows everything about you
and can meet your every need, the One who can work everything out for the good
of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose—even during COVID.
(See Romans 8:28.)
If you’ve succumbed to the siren call of weariness, know you’re
not alone—and know all of God’s promises are Yes and Amen!
Steph Beth Nickel is a freelance editor, a writer, and an author. Steph is also the editor of InScribe's quarterly magazine, FellowScript.
I can identify with you in many ways, Steph. And, I remember seeing an article in early 2021 that said one of the effects of the pandemic was that people were languishing. I think that word totally describes what you talk about here. What so many of us feel/felt during the height of the big C word.
ReplyDeleteDear Steph, thank you for such a thoughtful post that acknowledges the collective and individual weariness many are experiencing. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine you typing this post on your cozy couch. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou are so candid here, and I commend you for that. I think I've felt some of these same things, but possibly not to the same degree. But I know many around me who have and it has affected us all.
ReplyDeleteBrave for watching all those Marvel movies... I'm not a Marvel fan myself, so that would be more torturous than a to-do list! However, I have watched a lot fo other Netflix and rewatched several series that I had already seen. (Downton Abbey anyone?)
How I can relate to an overwhelming To-Do list. My wise husband once told me that 'being caught up is just a state of mind' because there is always something to do. Now I try to do what I can for one day, and that's enough. Thanks for your honesty, Steph. Praying your sofa celebrations become less in duration yet perhaps morph into some other kind of celebration as you and the Lord move ahead one step at a time. From one cozy couch gal to another.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I'm not the only one who languishes. All I want to do is sleep and watch old Doctor Who episodes. I even feel disappointed when I wake up. I so want to go home to my Lord and Master. But each day is another opportunity to serve him or to learn something.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I watched a remarkable documentary about a German concentration camp officer who saved Jews and made their imprisonment less terrible. What a great unsung hero Karl Plagge was!
Thanks for the encouragement that came at the right time, Steph Beth. Though I didn't feel a languishing, I know others who did (and are). My prayer is to support and encourage them.
ReplyDelete