Confessions and Secrets - Marnie Pohlmann

I am not a morning person. My mind is usually not working well until after 9am or coffee, whichever comes first. Most mornings I do not take time for more than a rushed shower and an on-the-run breakfast bar as I head to work. No morning devotions or hour in the prayer closet for me. I do know the value of taking morning time with God and have experienced times like that, but at this point in life, mornings do not work for my health or schedule. I must find time throughout the day to connect with God on an intimate basis.

Perhaps I have not intentionally prefaced my writing with prayer because I have never considered the words I write to be "God's words" in the way some writers are sure God gave them not only the gift of writing but the specific ideas and words ending up on the page. God planted this desire to write in my heart, yes, but I still choose what, when and how to write, don’t I? I need to write, so I do. Yes, God has blessed me with a talent and creativity to express events, feelings, or ideas through the careful placement of letters onto the screen or stamping ink onto paper. I thank Him for His gift and I know He can work through me even when I am not aware.

Yet I do not specifically stop to pray about my writing.

Or maybe I do! Not a specific prayer as in

"Dear God, I am about to write this specific project, so I ask you to give me the ideas and the words. May you be glorified, and may others be blessed." 
No, I don't take time to do even that short, specific prayer.

I also do not always write words meant to show God to others. Sometimes I am just writing to describe, or to complain, or to move a story along. Certainly, not everything I write mentions God. However, all my writing does glorify God if only by my using the talent He gave to me, or by doing my best, or by learning more about writing through each project.

There are times when God does make me stop to pray for specific situations or people.

A Facebook post by a struggling friend.

Holding a stillborn boy as his dad and mom question, "why?"

Sharing a long vehicle trip on scary roads.

Reflecting on a memory that intrudes on my sleep.

God brings people to mind in unique ways - dragonflies, hummingbirds, painting supplies. And I know God also brings me to mind for others to pray for me. I collect frogs and am often told that when someone sees a frog they think of me. I ask them to not just think of me, but to pray for me.

Currently, my prayer life does not consist of a specific time and place, or even time to update a prayer journal with praises, requests, or answers to prayer.

My prayer life is more like an ongoing conversation with God.

"Lord, look at that crazy driver. Maybe you should teach him a lesson - or calm my unreasonable rage and relieve my anxiety about being on the road with him. Oh, look, there is a beautifully shaped cloud, moving across the sky like a horse pulling a chariot, and now looking like a dolphin pod leaping to say hello. Your artistry is wondrous!

... Alright, now I've made it safely to work. How about a parking space? Way out here? I'm grumbling, but okay, I suppose the extra steps will do me good, and I guess someone else needs that more convenient spot today - or every day.

... Now, as I turn on my computer to see what work tasks are the priority today, remind me of my password. Right, "UntoHim^2d8" and yes, may I do today's work for You, Lord, and care about the people I encounter in the office.

... Home now, safe but so exhausted. Give me the energy

to do what needs to be done this evening.

... Turning on the computer to pay some bills. "Gift2U+" may we handle our finances as you would have us do, knowing you supply so we can keep open hands for others.

... I have just a few minutes to get some ideas down for this month's blog on prayer. Ha-ha, yes "Pr@ypen10" and here I go."

Don't worry, those are not my real passwords, and I will change all my passwords (again) anyway after posting this. But you get the idea, right? Little reminders throughout the day to give my daily tasks to God.

I also have my version of the Armour of God posted at both my work and home computers. And on my writing computer, I have a file called "Read B4 Write" that includes my Armour of God prayer and others I have paraphrased or written. I will be including in that file some of the Scripture and quotes shared on other posts this month, to give me further encouragement. I don't always open this file before opening the project I intend to work on, but it is there for when I feel those fiery darts burning my words, and me, to ashes.

Often, as I prepare to share my writing, I do pause to ask God to help me see the words from His view. Are they true? Are they helpful? Do they fit this venue, this audience? Are they my best at this time? If needed, I edit once again, or shelve the piece to reconsider sharing the words.

My confessions.

I do not always think to pray.

I do not always pray in the way we think of prayer

or how Jesus teaches us to pray.

Yet I have faith the Spirit who lives in me will pray

on my behalf for the things I don't even understand need prayer.

My secrets.

Planting small reminders throughout my day

to direct my thoughts and actions toward God.

Recognizing the prompts of the Spirit to pause

and lift others to God.

Choosing to look for the creative beauty of the

Creator of beauty.

           Checking with God before sharing written words.

I believe, no matter how you pray,

no matter how I pray,

God is listening,

God is acting,

God is with us.

*photos courtesy of pixabay.com

Pray for Marnie and with Marnie
as she finds God's voice
in her writing and life.