Higher Standards ... by Jocelyn Faire

to Be someone's first love is great great, but to be their last is beyond perfect

The Lord has done great things ...

This is my day for posting, and I wanted to write in to apologize for not posting ... instead I decided to share the good news that has happened in my life over this summer. After being on my own for a decade the Lord has brought someone special into my life to adventure the journey with.

Last evening my family gathered around us to celebrate our engagement. My mother who is in mid stages of dementia sat at the end of the table. I shared how she would often ask me, in our weekly phone calls (I lives two provinces away) if I was dating anyone. I might tell her if I'd gone out for coffee with a male, but that it was nothing serious. Then she might ask “well what's wrong?” I told her there was nothing wrong, it was just that I had not met anyone who met my standards. She did not hesitate in her response ...

“Well, maybe you should lower your standards.”

A large pause, and then we both laughed across the miles. She realized what she had said, and added

“that's not good advice.”

Last evening I could tell her that I had not had to lower my standards, Harold has met and exceeded the bar. Both he and I have experienced significant loss in our lives, and we have been given a second chance at love. More than a chance, we have been given a gift of joy, a gift of new beginnings. It sounds cliche to say God's timing is perfect, because I felt five years ago that would have been perfect as well ...

His daughters asked if he bought me a ring ... I said, “No, but he bought me a kayak paddle.” He understands me well.

To quote my daughter in my grief book-"Mom, the story of your life is not finished." And now I am beginning a new chapter of life, to be co-authored by the most wonderful man.

Happy fall to everyone, the colours are beautiful. Everything seems more beautiful with love. Today I celebrate the beauty of love, today I encourage you to see the beauty in your own story, and if it is in a dark place ... keep trusting ... we never walk alone. That is the greatest gift.

Verses that have been given to me by the spirit this summer ... from Isaiah 49 in The Message:

“When the time’s ripe, I answer you.
    When victory’s due, I help you ...

God has comforted his people.
    He has tenderly nursed his beaten-up, beaten-down people .

14 But Zion said, “I don’t get it. God has left me.
    My Master has forgotten I even exist.”
15-18 “Can a mother forget the infant at her breast,
    walk away from the baby she bore?
But even if mothers forget,
    I’d never forget you—never.
Look, I’ve written your names on the backs of my hands.
    The walls you’re rebuilding are never out of my sight.
Your builders are faster than your wreckers.
    The demolition crews are gone for good.
Look up, look around, look well!
    See them all gathering, coming to you?
As sure as I am the living God”—God’s Decree—
    “you’re going to put them on like so much jewelry,
    you’re going to use them to dress up like a bride.

Jocelyn is author of Who is Talking out of My Head?  Grief as an out of body experience