I never know what will bring on memories and tears. I start into church thinking today is a good day. Someone says hello and I dissolve into tears. A song plays on the car radio and I have to pull over because I can’t see to drive.
A part of me is gone. I am not who I was. I was a We for fifty years and now I am a Me. I’ve lost part of myself. I feel like a birch tree, bark slowly being peeled away, limbs being ripped off one by one. My better half is gone.
I feel off balance, abnormal even. Empty space surrounds me. It is the absence of my Beloved.
I slowly adjust. A large socket wrench twists at my being, turning me into a different person with excruciating slowness. And why not? Husbands and wives are one flesh. That is why recovery time is so long, so hard and so difficult. How would you feel if someone ripped off your arm or your leg, leaving a gaping hole where it once was attached?
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman', for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23 - 24 NIVThat is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Much of our human comfort comes from those who have been through the same things. In my case it is other widows, simply because they too have had gaping, open wounds in their innermost selves.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. Luke 10:34 (NIV)And our spiritual comfort comes from the Christ…..who also experienced wounds.
He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:24 (NIV)
Prayer: Lord God, give us courage to reach beyond our own pain to encourage another. Amen.
~ Brenda J Wood