December 20, 2012

Beyond Our Pain by Brenda J Wood

I never know what will bring on memories and tears. I start into church thinking today is a good day. Someone says hello and I dissolve into tears. A song plays on the car radio and I have to pull over because I can’t see to drive.

A part of me is gone. I am not who I was. I was a We for fifty years and now I am a Me. I’ve lost part of myself. I feel like a birch tree, bark slowly being peeled away, limbs being ripped off one by one. My better half is gone.

I feel off balance, abnormal even. Empty space surrounds me. It is the absence of my Beloved.

I slowly adjust. A large socket wrench twists at my being, turning me into a different person with excruciating slowness. And why not? Husbands and wives are one flesh. That is why recovery time is so long, so hard and so difficult. How would you feel if someone ripped off your arm or your leg, leaving a gaping hole where it once was attached?
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman', for she was taken out of man.” Genesis 2:23 - 24 NIV
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Much of our human comfort comes from those who have been through the same things. In my case it is other widows, simply because they too have had gaping, open wounds in their innermost selves.
He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.  Luke 10:34 (NIV)
And our spiritual comfort comes from the Christ…..who also experienced wounds.
He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed."  1 Peter 2:24 (NIV)

Prayer:  Lord God, give us courage to reach beyond our own pain to encourage another. Amen.

~ Brenda J Wood


  1. For many this particular season is a very painful time. I can't help but think about the impact the recent tragedy in the States is going to have on every Christmas forever after for those poor families

  2. Beautifully written Brenda. You bare your soul; I feel your pain. Then you show that Jesus cares; He is there; you are comforted.

    May you enjoy Christmas with your family, your memories and Jesus,


  3. Christmas must be especially difficult for those who have lost loved ones. May God fill you with His peace this season.

    Pam M.

  4. Brenda, thank you for sharing so honestly about the pain of losing your husband. Your analogies help us understand the intensity of your pain. May you cherish the memories and continue to find peace and comfort in Jesus.

  5. My heart aches for you, Brenda, and other widows. I got a Christmas letter from the wife of my cousin (he died in his sleep earlier this year) and what she is feeling is remarkably like what you express. {{{hugs}}}

  6. Thinking of you tonight, Brenda. Thank you for opening your inner heart to us. Sending whispers of love through my prayers for you. (((HUGS)))

  7. Your shared grief touches me deeply, and it reminds me to cherish the times my husband and I have together and not to ever take my hubby's presence for granted.

    May the Good Shepherd comfort you and bless you.

  8. An experience many of us have yet to go through., yet may not be that far off.
    Thanks for sharing your pain and preparing--and warning--some of us for what is to come.
    Yet how could we cope without Him? It seems to natural and reasonable to rest in Him, I don't understand any one who rejects His presence!
    May God continue to be your strength and comfort.

  9. God is so good to have given you such a precious husband and marriage. God bless you as He gives you courage and the balm to heal your heart.


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